I am, on the whole, a pretty motivated student. But very often I lose motivation and start to think that the reason I am not achieving anything is because I am not good enough. This makes me want to try less hard. I have to then push myself really hard to become motivated again. It is troubling me a lot. My parents keep reminding me about my need to work hard and become somebody. I want to please them but then I also give up. Can you suggest anything?

It is very easy to lose motivation and inspiration, so don’t be hard on yourself. Put up the various things that inspire you on to a small vision board, which you can hang in your room. The board can carry inspirational quotes or pictures of people whom you admire or things that you are working towards; basically anything that visually reminds you of your goals every time you walk into your room. This will motivate you to try just a bit harder. It is very important that we seek motivation from within for ourselves as well as for our parents.

Once you know what your goals are, take the time to write them down, preferably in a notebook. Keep it within easy reach and make sure you review your goals regularly. It is best to break the goals into smaller bits that can be achieved weekly or monthly. Set reminders and award yourself little stars for each time you are able to accomplish a task you had set for yourself. Very often, students tell me that they know the correct way to do things but find that they don’t have the commitment and lose heart midway.

Another thing you can do to stay motivated is to have friends who are as aspirational as you. Being surrounded by positive, goal-oriented people makes it easier to stay on track. You could, for instance, form a study group amongst your classmates. You could each state your goals and it would be the responsibility of all to keep each other on track. If your friends are not as focussed as you, you could choose to tell your goals to a family member you are close to and seek his or her assistance to keep you focussed.

There may still be days when you are unable to work hard and that is fine. We all have days, and sometimes weeks, of not doing anything. But the important thing is to then come back on track as soon as you can.

Everything depends on how badly you want to achieve success and how high the fire in your belly is. If you boil water on a low fire, it will only simmer and not come to a boil any time soon. But crank up the heat and you will see how quickly the bubbles rise to the top.

• Fear of missing out
  

I have just joined college and I find that there is a lot to be done, in addition to studies. I fear that if I do not do it all then I will “miss the boat”. So I have been juggling madly, trying to do everything at once. But now I constantly feel tired and am not able to cope with things. How can I improve my time management skills such that I can do it all, without feeling exhausted?

In these times of social media — where you need to constantly update your Facebook status, preferably with something really exciting — the fear of missing out, or FOMO, is very real. You need to escape this merry-go-round of things to do, which is tiring you out.

The best way to do it is by maintaining a diary, in which you could make a note of the important work every week in terms of deadlines, books to read, tasks to complete and so on. Also, mark out time for activities you regularly do for fun.

When you take a taxi, you tell the driver your destination but still keep an eye on passing landmarks to make sure he is following the right route. Similarly, this diary will act as a reference point and provide landmarks that will help you keep to the straight and narrow.

Shivani Manchanda has master’s degrees in Career Counselling and Child Development. She has been counselling about opportunities in India and abroad since 1991. Mail your queries to telegraphyou@ gmail.com with Ask Shivani in the subject line