Admission to a prestigious college and a job in a blue-chip company is the ultimate aspiration for everybody. It is common perception that these things are the benchmark of success.
Fact is, success in professional life is a complex mosaic and a huge part of this mosaic is the ability to manage one’s own emotions and understand the emotions of others.
Binoy Bagchi used to be an ambitious student and his dream was to have his photograph published in the newspaper when he cracked the JEE with a high all-India rank. He juggled tuition, solved problems and memorised formulas. As he prepped for JEE Advance, his stress levels were off the charts and from a quiet boy he became a person who would frequently shout and get into small fights with his classmates. Nobody knew he was nursing a heartbreak as he was studying for his exams and this pain was impeding his ability to focus. Finally, the day came when his photo was right there in the paper making his parents super proud. He had secured a place in one of the IITs. Everybody thought he had done it and from now on he would only have career highs and conquer the world of money, status and power. Then why was Binoy suspended from IIT Kharagpur and how did it impact his future dreams?
Suhani Gupta, a top scorer in her school, was studying online during the Covid-19 pandemic. With each passing month she became less connected with her friends, she felt isolated and was unable to share the misery she felt at home where her parents were constantly fighting. Gradually, her scores declined and she was unable to ask for help from anybody. Will Suhani be able to bounce back and become a high-scorer again? Do our personal lives impact our performance in school or college? Can we manage our emotions to attain greater career heights?
There are thousands of people who are unable to capitalise on their academic achievements and potential because of their inability to manage certain new age soft skills such as the ability to manage emotions, be resilient or understand that challenges in life are normal and that problems will wax and wane.
The path to career success requires us to interweave our cognitive skills and our ability to manage our anger. To handle a crisis, students in the post-Covid era — a time when we all have bottled up anger and frustration — must learn how to manage stress without losing control. The pandemic makes it essential to bounce back and try again and again after multiple failures. They must learn that so many things are beyond our control, such as the constantly re-emerging viruses, and understand how our aggressive behaviour affects the other person.
Take a short new age soft skill quiz to see how you score on a scale of 1 to 10 in each of these areas.
1. I am able to manage my anger without shouting, slamming doors or feeling defensive.
2. I understand my actions have consequences and I need to be accountable for my own decisions.
3. I can handle the stress life throws at me without panicking, getting anxious or having sleepless nights.
4. I learn from my mistakes and failures and don’t let them impact my self-esteem or self-worth.
5. I am able to talk positively to myself or listen to music or exercise to make myself feel better.
6. I attempt to see the other person’s point of view during a conflict and can continue doing a project with them despite difference of opinion.
7. I understand it is okay to be different because our individual differences help to bring unique perspectives to the problem.
8. I have a few friends and family with whom I can share my deepest concerns and ask for help if I feel overwhelmed with troubles.
Answers: Respond to each of the above statements on a scale from 1 to 10. The higher your score, the more likely it is that you are preparing yourself well for success in life. Introspect on statements that you particularly scored low on and see how you can improve yourself in those areas.
The writer is an experienced career and positive mental health counsellor, a former counsellor with IIT Bombay and a TEDx speaker
