Being a perfectionist is often considered a compliment. Our well-meaning teachers and earnest parents use it all the time. Additionally, perfectionist is very often and erroneously considered a synonym for high achiever. The dictionary definition of the term is different. It goes somewhat like this: someone who aspires to unattainable or unrealistic standards. All of this is to say that in reality, perfectionists might be hardworking people, but they may not be as productive as one would like to believe. Are unattainable standards getting in the way of success for perfectionists? Are perfectionists self-sabotaging their own success? Take the quiz (see box) to find out if you are a perfectionist.

Now, there are many small and big ways to overcome perfectionism and start being human.

Talk to yourself as you might talk to a friend who has made an error. When we speak with a friend, we use encouraging words and we also try to motivate them to do better. Instead of saying “I am a failure”, try using sentences like “I am improving”, “I am proud of myself for trying”and / or “It is okay to make mistakes as I am learning”.

Don’t fret for hours over small details. If you are running late then submit that assignment on time because if you miss the deadline you will not get any marks at all. Maybe you could promise to prepare better and plan better the next time, such that all those small details are also taken care of. But submit this assignment on time so you can move on to the next rung in the ladder. Also, remember everything is a work in progress and nothing can ever be “perfect”.

Acknowledge mistakes as being part of life and part of being human. Instead of striving for 500 per cent (which anyhow is mathematically impossible) strive for 100 or 80 or even 60 per cent. As long as you are attempting your best, even 60 per cent can be great. So instead of cursing yourself for failing to use your analytical brain, think how you can improve or what went wrong. By developing a more analytical approach to failure, you will develop a lifelong habit of learning and growth.

The shadow of failure looms large in our lives and the fear of losing face or falling flat on our faces prevents us from trying anything new. Take inspiration from Einstein who used to say, “Anyone who has not made a mistake has never tried anything new”. The path to success is a winding journey with small peaks and large valleys. Take those chances and try new things. Take falling on your face with a bit of humour and get up and do it again. After the 10th or the 100th attempt you will skate or learn that algorithm or do that experiment right.

A simple way to keep your achievements in focus is to celebrate small successes. Very often by focussing on that perfect goal, we ignore the small steps that we have accomplished. By pausing to acknowledge our small achievements we give a boost to our motivation, build self-confidence and it also helps to keep track of the accomplishments.

5 SIGNS YOU ARE A PERFECTIONIST

Answer this on a scale of 1 to 10. The higher the score, the more likely it is that you are a perfectionist.

1. You use negative words to describe yourself every time you make a mistake as you think making mistakes of any kind is unforgivable

2. You miss deadlines as till the last minute you are trying to improve upon your assignment or answer. No matter how much you work, it never seems good enough

3. You constantly remind yourself of your own mistakes and let the fear of making mistakes build up in your life

4. You find it difficult to start a new project because you feel overwhelmed by the pressure of delivering good work and not confident about your ability to deliver it well

5. You are constantly dissatisfied with your performance and you tend to make your poor performance bigger in your mind than it actually is.