Monday, 28 October 2024
Monday, 28 October 2024
Diwali is all about lights, laughter, and the spirit of giving. But some gifts bring a different kind of light – when you roll your eyes and wonder, "Is this person even my friend?" The Telegraph Online arranges a list of the “best worst” gifts and what they really mean when they land on your doorstep this festive season.
1. Soan Papdi: The dessert nobody asked for
Nothing says “I only sent you this because it’s Diwali and I have to send something” quite like a box of Soan Papdi. It's the classic Diwali reject that’s recycled through every family. By the end of the festival, it somehow boomerangs back to your home, untouched, like a sweet that’s been around the world and still can’t find a taker. When you receive Soan Papdi, it’s the universe’s way of saying that this gift is destined for a never-ending episode of passing the parcel.
2. Diet food or weight loss products: Happy Diwali, but you need a treadmill
Opening a box of sugar-free sweets or, even worse, weight-loss tea feels like your relatives are saying, “Happy Diwali! Here's your treadmill in a box. God knows you need it.” Are they trying to save your life, or is this just their idea of a festive roast? Receiving this gift means they’ve noticed your extra ladoo habit and are “helping” you fix it. You can quietly tell your relative thanks but no thanks!
3. Kitchen utensils: Because your life needs more cooking?
Usually gifted by that one elder relative who’s been hinting at your marriage, it’s their subtle way of saying, “See, you can totally handle a family and a career, Now get cooking!” Apparently, nothing will make you happier than coming home after work to a brand-new set of pots and pans. Because who wouldn’t want to start off Diwali with a feast, preferably one you make for everyone else, right?
4. Anti-Ageing products: Because you look tired
Receiving a bottle of anti-wrinkle cream during the festive season is like a gentle reminder from a friend saying, “Here’s to a youthful Diwali, you might want to consider a miracle.” This gift usually comes from that brutally honest pal who “cares” about your well-being or just thinks you resemble a zombie after a long night of binge-watching.
5. Candy bar: When they run out of ideas and chocolate
Getting a single candy bar as a Diwali gift is like the grand finale of forgotten gestures. It’s the “last minute” gift, hastily snatched from a stash meant for emergencies. Half-melted and a little squashed, it’s the definition of last-minute desperation.
6. Expensive items that don’t match your interests: thoughtful, but not for you
Getting a high-end gift sounds great. Until it’s something you’d never use. You’re gifted a designer wallet when you’re all about that backpack life, or a fancy watch when you barely remember to check the time. It’s even worse when it comes from a friend who just scored a big salary package clearly trying to show off their ‘generosity’ with something pricey (that they secretly wanted themselves). The thought definitely counts. It just seems like they thought about their taste more than yours.
7. The wrong perfume: Here’s to smelling like, what is that?
Receiving the wrong perfume for Diwali is like unwrapping a mystery – one that no one wanted to solve. It’s the fragrant equivalent of saying, “I really have no clue what you like, but this was on sale!” One spritz and you’re left wondering if you just stepped into a flower shop explosion or a fish market. It’s the perfect gift when your friend wants to leave a lasting impression, just not the kind anyone actually wants to remember!
8. An empty picture frame: For that imaginary memory
An empty picture frame, it’s like getting a blank canvas and being told to paint a masterpiece, except your artistic skills are nonexistent. This plain gift comes from that relative who thinks it’s “personalised” because you’re supposed to add the memories. Who needs photos anyway? You can just stare at the frame and imagine all the fun times you haven’t had yet!
9. Gold foil showpieces: Fancy dust magnets
These extravagant knick-knacks look like pure gold and are about as useful as an extra pair of elbows. Gifted by well-meaning aunts and uncles who thought, “This is fancy,” these sit on the shelf until Diwali next year, when you’re tempted to re-gift them.
10. Dinner set: Because what you really needed was plates
Now you’re fully stocked for a banquet you didn’t plan, with enough dinnerware to start a small restaurant. It usually comes from that one relative who believes everyone’s Diwali dreams involve matching crockery, it’s the subtle hint that your kitchen must have dishwashing opportunities.
