Support can be double-edged. That is suggested by Sohaila Abdulali, the author of the book, What We Talk About When We About Rape, when she asks, in effect, what is less empowering than someone being told that this has happened to her and society is taking over in her support? This is allied to another question her discussion touches upon, that is, whether justice for society is the same thing as justice for the individual who has been violated. The division is implicit in the example she gives in another context: some women may want the perpetrators to be tried while others may feel that the court procedure would be another violation. Presenting her life as example, Ms Abdulali referred to the empowerment of the survivor through the reclamation of her life. She was unable to bring her rapists to justice in spite of trying — that was in 1980 — but she lived a full life of varied activity and usefulness with love and support. It is women’s resilience and courage that must be celebrated; society’s perception should not make them out to be pitiable, disempowered beings.
Forensics showed that the doctor in R.G. Kar Medical College and Hospital fought her attacker. Tragically, she was defeated, as was the girl in Hathras in 2020. But the latter lived long enough to identify her rapists; no one was able to take that power away from her. The survivor of the 2017 gang rape in Unnao kept going until one of her attackers was arrested, ignoring threats and losing her father and two other relatives in the process. The decision to punish was hers, as was that of the dying girl in Hathras. Recently, another strong decision was taken by a woman in France, who discovered after 50 years of marriage that her husband had regularly drugged her and invited other men to come and rape her while he took photographs and made videos. She had been raped 200 times between 2011 and 2020. Although she could have remained anonymous, the woman insisted on a public trial so that no one else suffered in the same way.
Besides, she wished to place the shame where it was due. In a country dominated by a shame culture, this would be one of the most important aspects of empowerment, of reclaiming a life under pitying or damning scrutiny. Collective anger and the call for justice, as in the case of R.G. Kar doctor, are important because this is society’s unified position against the crime and, here at least, against corruption. But the woman’s own fight, violently cut short though it must have been, should not be forgotten in the overwhelming effect of society’s protest. That so many women keep trying to place shame where it is due in the face of the odds offered by, ironically, society itself, ranging from their own families to law-enforcing authorities, is the enduring mark of their resilience.