Sometimes research results are truly unnerving. A recent study, undertaken by researchers from the University of Arizona, published in the journal with the intimidating name of Psychophysiology, has concluded that the presence, or even just the mental image, of the romantic partner can keep a person’s blood pressure in check in stressful situations. Thinking about something as mundane as, say, the day’s events cannot stop the blood pressure giving undesirably high readings when a foot is immersed in cold water with a temperature of 3.3 to 4.4 degree Celsius. Now one foot in freezing water is a seriously stressful event, particularly when the geography leans towards the hotter temperatures. And the experience can no doubt legitimately stand in for a range of stressful events, such as being discriminated against for colour, or, say, being hung upside down from a ceiling fan with the balls of the feet exposed to thoughtful thrashing. In the second case, a romantic partner sitting by would be of great help as he or she screamed, wept, or otherwise tried to disrupt the proceedings. The first example is less dramatic — what’s all this fuss about discrimination anyway? If something, such as discrimination, happens all the time — with reference to colour, creed or caste — a romantic partner hanging around the neck makes no difference either way, let alone mental images. Freezing water might as well be boiling, for that matter.

What the study does prove is that freezing water cannot douse romance. On the contrary, it makes romance tempting, by keeping blood pressures in check. The central puzzle in this piece of research is the definition of romance, together with the amazing ability of the researchers to discover a respectable number of respondents who will admit to ‘romantic’ partners. A learned account offers a clue to the mystery. The number of respondents was, presumably, 102. However scientifically ordered the experiment, to imagine 102 people representing the whole world is a bit of a stretch. And these were 102 undergraduates. Romance is obviously alive and kicking among the young: in a brave new world where it is always spring. The researchers also took care of possible world-weary suspicions that romance wears off. The young people had to be in a committed romantic relationship of at least one month’s vintage. No wonder romance was easy to define.

The study is aspirational in a novel way — it is a state of relationship that everyone beyond the 102 would aspire to. Imagine a partner whose presence makes flowers bloom and birds sing, who soothes blood pressure into believing there is no stress ever. After all, the more common relationship is the one in which the mutual feeling is of being driven up the wall at worst and boredom or irritation at best. Even the main cause of stress in life. A frozen foot may then become so much more preferable to the beloved’s company.