It’s hard to write this so soon after writing about Matthew ‘Chandler’ Perry. I barely even know the actor’s (Andre Braugher) other iconic roles, much less who the actual person behind the character was. But if you can take a dancing Insta-Reel girl at her word that she has cracked the code of investment like Charlie Munger and Benjamin Graham couldn’t, then this is an easier delusion to sustain. Screams of “99” will bring fans of the comedy police caper Brooklyn Nine-Nine running faster than male feminists in defence of the same dancing Insta-Reel girl. At least in her comments section.
Thank you Captain Holt. Thanks to you, Cheddar was more than just cheese, Kevin was more than just Bacon and Wuntch was more than just lunch with a W because to Raymond she was a big L. Raymond Holt was the child who thought going through the building’s architectural code and translating them into Latin would be a great fun activity for kids at his 12th birthday party. In his own words to Terry, the least liked kid in school became the police captain. So perhaps there is something to learn even from fictional characters.
Captain Holt was the father figure to Jake Peralta in a classic rendition of the stern teacher who adopts the class clown as his protégé. But enough about Anna Hazare and the Aam Aadmi Party. Perhaps the biggest heist of Holt’s was the classic Holtisms that compete with Chandlerisms, Michaelisms and Barneyisms in the pantheon of classic dialogues by our favourite comic characters. For example:
Wuntch: Hello Raymond. Surprised to see me?
Holt: Well I didn’t say Bloody Mary 3 times. So yes
“Aah, Madeline. I was wondering why all the birds had stopped singing”
The love-hate relationship of Wuntch and Holt was a classic comedic trope wherein an otherwise prim and proper character reveals his dark Machiavellian side if provoked the right way. You may similarly provoke a kid from south Bombay by asking them to catch a Virar local in peak hour.
Buzzfeed came up with the following Quotes from Holt:
— “Why is no one having a good time? I specifically requested it.”
— “I'm a human. I'm a human male.”
As an introvert with esoteric interests like building a radio at home or running the Internet on DOS, I can relate rather painfully to some of these statements. I am also in some ways the kid who would have been thrilled to bits at the idea of reading the architectural code. Because I was the kid who always struggled to drive but would have read the car’s entire manual thrice. Much was also made about Holt’s race and sexual orientation in the show which lent itself to its own brand of humour in this classic interaction with Jake:
Captain Holt: Didn’t you see him flirting with me?
Jake: No, I most definitely did not.
Captain Holt: Then you're a blind man and a prude to boot. Did you see his tie? A single Windsor. The easiest knot to undo. Why bother wearing any clothes at all?
Jake: I think you badly misread that interaction.
Captain Holt: Please. He did everything but lick his lips and purr. Get rid of him, and bring me someone who can keep it in their slacks.
As we bid goodbye to Captain Raymond Holt aka Andre Braugher, perhaps just like Raymond Holt suddenly sobers up when the true impact of Wuntch’s death hits him, I can close with his speech at her funeral
Raymond Holt: As many of you know, Madeline and I were bitter rivals, but I’ve come to realise she held a special place in my life. No one challenged me like she did or made me feel as alive. Our relationship was like an epic chess match. And it's hard to believe that... She'll never make another move.
[He hears a notification on his phone]
Raymond Holt: Unless...
[He checks his phone]
Raymond Holt: No, it's just a notification. Cheddar's doggy toothpaste has shipped. So she is gone, and I wish she were not. I will miss you, Madeline Wuntch.
And we will miss you Captain Raymond Holt.. NINE-NINE!!!! (99 gun salute plays in background)
The author is a Marwari investment banker turned corporate comedian. The views expressed in this article are his own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the website.
