Fathers becoming the primary caregiver and staying at home/working from home to take care of the child is the new normal in many Indian households. This evolving role is breaking an age-old stigma, where women were believed to be the sole nurturer and the first responder to sacrifice and adjustments after birth — from giving up her career, changing the course of her career, to resigning to stay at home.
Today, dads are course-correcting this path. Fathers are making breakfasts, changing diapers, acing storytelling, creating hacks to feed and putting the l’il one to sleep. This Father’s Day, My Kolkata got in touch with two Indian dads who are giving their best both at work and at being a stay-at-home dad. Know how they are contributing to a positive change, one day at a time…
Changing perceptions post pandemic
Kundan Chakrabarty
The flexibility of working from home has brought a few plusses for this mid-40s Bangali baba. The mini breaks between work are quality time for the dad-dot duo. Being an active caregiver to the child, Kundan Chakrabarty changes diapers, soothes the child, and puts her to sleep. The undivided attention towards his 18-month-old daughter is one of the highlights of this relationship.
“I volunteered right from the beginning to be a part and parcel of her growing up,” shared Chakrabarty. His daughter reaching out to him to be cradled is one of the moments that makes balancing work and life a beautiful experience. “I salute all mothers,” said Chakrabarty, tributing the contribution of mothers in taking care of their children for years now.
“Your child might need you whenever she has any ask. You have to be prepared to take her call and be there with her whenever she needs you,” he added, banking on his experience of being a father whose daily routine is seamlessly merged with his daughter’s everyday experiences. Chakrabarty exchanges notes with other stay-at-home dads, and attributes the change in work culture to the pandemic, which normalised men staying at home or working from there. The perception of work and the nature of employment evolved during and post the pandemic. Thus, there are fewer eyebrows raised to find a man working from home, and helping raise a child.
“The time has come when patriarchy cannot rule everything anymore,” opined Chakrabarty, who hopes to be a positive contributor to the change. “To put the entire onus on a woman on how to raise a child is wrong,” he signed off.
— Kundan Chakrabarty, independent consultant
Building memories while on daddy duty
Representational Image iStock
“My day revolves around my daughter” shared a mid-40s daddy, who is super active when it comes to taking care of his child, and who requested to remain anonymous. From bonding with her en route to her school and extracurricular classes to putting her to sleep everyday — this dad’s day is curated around his li’l one. Going out on walks in the evening, to enjoying a meal together, these little moments strengthen the bond between them.
Becoming a stay-at-home dad was a practical decision arising from a personal situation for this family. While the societal take on this arrangement has been both hot and cold, with questions stemming for a father handling a daughter’s needs when she hits puberty, this daddy knows how to skim off the doubts and focus on the positives.
“When you know it’s best for your child and keep that in focus, societal impressions hardly make a difference. I rely on a close set of families who extend their support to us. But largely, we look at our daughter and believe this is the best arrangement,” shared the father about dealing with the “common” questions that come his way.
The father further shared, “If we want to normalise women doing well in their careers, we should also normalise men taking care of kids at home.” At the heart of every decision taken by a parent, the focal point is the wellbeing of the child, he believes.
— Anonymous
