Imagine waking up one fine day with a haunting curtain of darkness over your eyes. That’s what happened to Bernard Chew. All of 47, in 2017 the young man went to sleep one night only to wake up with his vision gone. Forever. And, he’s lived through the nightmare to emerge stronger and shared what is an incredibly positive story. We met Bernard at NOX- Dine in the Dark in Singapore, a restaurant on Club Street, where you dine in pitch darkness. Bernard was our guide, who kept us entertained with his easy wit. In his early 50s, speaking to Bernard felt like a fresh dose of wild enthusiasm for living life and never giving up. Listening to Bernard was emotional and empowering. Over the course of the chat, he told us he loved his tea in India and had been to Mumbai as well as Calcutta. Excerpts.
What has life been like?
My life as a visually impaired has at certain times been a struggle. It’s not easy, especially when people don’t understand us. What we actually need for people is to empathise, not sympathise. Sympathising is basically ‘I feel so sorry for you’, but if you empathise, it’ll be even better because you will understand what the person goes through.
Empathising is also empowerment, right?
Yes, exactly. It is the reason why NOX was created. The first concept was done in Zurich called Blind Cow and it still exists. It was done by one of the missionaries, a Father, a pastor. They wanted to give the visually impaired a chance. Now, this concept is everywhere. We have one in London, in Australia.
I got to know about NOX from one of my friends and I am so glad because it gave us a chance to get back on our own feet and make a decent living. NOX has been around for 10 years. We shifted here (Club Street) last year. Previously, it was on Beach Road.
Altogether I have a team of five and some of them are visually impaired and some of them are blind, running the whole of the second level. My colleague and I are totally blind; he was born blind. On January 1, 2020, my manager recognised my hard work and promoted me to the rank of supervisor. That was the best present and I now manage the team upstairs. I plan their roster and I am in charge of part of their training too. I work closely with the restaurant manager and my manager. We are part of growing up together and we do everything together. I have to speak to the diners and make sure all my diners get their food and have a wonderful experience.
How many can you accommodate at a given point in time?
In this restaurant, you can seat up to 47 diners.
Our dine-in-the-dark dinner gave a feel of what a visually impaired person goes through. What do you think people take away from this experience?
To be honest, they empathise with the visually impaired. Even a visually impaired person can earn a living and come to work in this simple restaurant. We do the same thing they do in the service industry. Of course, we go a step further by giving them the experience of how a visually impaired feels. In the dark, we are the ones who are able to see. So, we exchange roles.
How much time did it take for you to get acclimated?
Initially, it was difficult. For me, it took two days to master everything. I did on-the-job training in December 2017, Christmas Eve and I managed to catch the true way of serving even though it was my first time in the F&B industry. I started working in NOX in 2018, January 1. I know who’s sitting where by the sound of the voice. That’s the simple reason why I ask you what drinks you are having and I memorise the place where you are sitting and what the dietaries you have.
To be honest, the diners are the ones who break the glasses, not us, because we are careful. That’s the reason why we tell you to place the glasses on the right-hand side.
The mishap happened with you in 2017...
August 2, 2017. I came back from work, woke up the next morning and I just couldn’t see. They told me I have retina detachment without me knowing. I went for a major operation and got my retina fixed but unfortunately, I lost my eyesight because there was damage to the optic nerves.
What did you do?
To be honest, suicide was definitely on my mind, when they broke the news. I was tied down to the bed for five days and I was so angry with everyone. I didn’t want to see anyone at all, but during the third night, the nurse told me: ‘Hey Bernard, your two boys are here and your family is here and they have been there since the first day you were admitted to the hospital’. (Gets emotional) I decided to meet my boys and could feel their sadness when they saw me tied down to the bed. I told them I couldn’t do much and my son said the magic word. He said: ‘Dad, killing yourself is so easy. What about us? You are being very selfish’. That got me back on my feet. I just want my boys to say: ‘Dad, two thumbs up!’
They must be so proud of you!
They are!
Where do you get your sense of humour from?
That’s what most of my diners say. They say, with my sense of humour, I make them comfortable in the dark. I always tell my diners to come with an open mind. And you tend to communicate a lot (when you are dining in the dark)... this is something we lack in our society right now. We are so distracted by technology but technology has been a wonderful tool for me. It helps me get around from my workplace to home... It tells me when my bus is here and when to alight.
And, you run and row...
It’s mind over matter. The most important thing is acceptance. There are many who won’t be able to accept it if you just lose eyesight overnight. Once you accept, you just have to find your path and get back on your feet. And, no matter what, you have to keep the faith.
Do you still believe in God?
Of course. I never lost my faith. Like the Bon Jovi song Keep The Faith. (Laughs)
Are you making more memories now than the ones you made before?
Yes, there have been a lot of good memories. The memories have been flooding through the diners themselves who appreciate what we have done and understand us more. That’s what has been a memory for me.