“Abar eshob-er ki dorkar? Abar eto khorcha korli?” (What was the need for all this? Why did you spend so much?) A mother is that rare personality who will often indulgently scold you for spending money on her when she receives gifts, while secretly being happy and proud. And more often than not, it is not the gift that matters, but the thought that went behind it. While we should be thankful for and celebrate our mommies every day we can, a day of receiving special treatment from her child is always worth treasuring for her.
Gifts, surprises, flowers and goodies often make up the Mother’s Day special gift hampers, however not many ask the ones the day is dedicated to for an unfiltered opinion on what they would like on this day. So, My Kolkata spoke to some mothers across age groups in Kolkata to understand what their idea of an ideal gift for Mother’s Day is.
The gift of time
Susmita Majumdar, 29, is a single mother to little Sreyansh. The six-year-old is in the care of his maternal grandmother while his mother is away at work. For Susmita, the ideal Mother’s Day gift would be spending time with her son. “He is too young to understand the concept of Mother’s Day. So, for me, an ideal gift is to be able to spend the day with him.”
Since the day has fallen on a Sunday, she reckons it will be spent at home playing, eating chocolates or doing some activity together. The mother-son duo share a strong bond of friendship. They play together before bedtime and even fight for equal share of chocolates.
Susmita with Sreyansh
An architect with Techno India Group, Susmita gives all the credit behind her success to her son. “Sreyansh has to spend a lot of time away from me, but he is an understanding and adjusting child,” she says. “He does not throw tantrums and doesn’t make a fuss about anything while I am away, which makes things easier for my mother who looks after him and for me to pursue my career.” It is a special gift she already has from him. On the other hand, the little boy instinctively knows to respect his mother’s space as well. “He is a very sensitive child, and if I am upset or angry about something that is not about him, he will keep some distance and let me cope with it. Sometimes he tries to console me when I am sad,” says the young mother, adding that it astonishes her that her son has developed an emotional side like this at a tender age.
When asked what he would like to give his mom after being told about Mother’s Day, Sreyansh makes everyone grin by saying, “I have no money.”
Sharing responsibilities
Sumita Dutta, 58, has two daughters, Swastika and Shreya, who have grown up to make her proud in their own way. For this mother, Mother’s Day is special but she feels celebration of motherhood is just not limited to a single day. Sumita's first-born is a special child and her younger daughter is pursuing MBA and for her, an ideal Mother’s Day gift is watching her daughters share her responsibilities.
Sumita Dutta with her two daughters Swastika and Shreya
“My daughters try to help me out in their own way. My elder one is a slow learner but she has picked up a lot of responsibilities at home like filling up the water bottles, making tea, serving us water while we eat. My younger one pretty much does everything. Both of them make me proud every day even if I don’t express that quite often,” says Sumita.
Sumita’s younger daughter recently learnt to drive a car and took her mother and sister for a long drive. Thinking back to that day, which was a special one for her, the proud mother says, “I felt like my daughters grew up in a blink of an eye. As a mother, all I want from them is that they take care of each other and be responsible in life. Especially for my younger one, I want her to be financially independent.”
Every Mother's Day both the daughters make cards and get a small gift for Sumita, who herself did not know about the celebration during her childhood. “My daughters introduced me to this (Mother’s Day). Now I wish I could have also done something special for my mother on this day because when my daughters celebrate it, I feel so blessed. I would have loved to have given that kind of joy to my mother.”
Promises and priorities
Mousumi Roy, 44, has simple expectations from her nine-year-old daughter, Hemantika. No gifts or demands, but a few promises to understand priorities, take a stand and ensure her own safety.
“As they grow up, the world will keep changing. As a mother, all I want is that my daughter is brave and strong enough to protest against wrongs,” says Mousumi about her introverted daughter who she feels doesn’t yet speak up for herself. “I feel every girl needs to learn to stand up for her rights. Also, I want her to ensure her own safety. As she grows up, she will be on her own and as parents we don’t want to restrict her freedom but she has to assure us that she will be safe,” adds the homemaker, who has a double master’s degree in History.
Mousumi Roy with her daughter Hemantika
To Hemantika, Mother’s Day is a new concept she learnt at school. The Class IV student has a knack for arts and crafts and makes pretty cards for her mom. She is also an inquisitive child who collects twigs, pebbles and shells from everywhere and brings them home. Speaking about her daughter’s valuable possessions, Mousumi jokingly says. “My ideal Mother's Day gift would be that she takes care of her valuable wealth. She has collected so many things that there’s hardly any space to keep them now and her quirky collections are all over the place. If she can manage to sort them this Mother's Day, I'll be very happy.”
Mousumi feels that as her daughter grows up their relationship will be about friendship, love and care. Being her daughter’s friend is important for her so that Hemantika does not hesitate to share things with her mother. “Mothers are their daughters’ first best friend, and I am experiencing it every day now. If a child feels safe talking to you, a lot of their problems get solved. We never had that space with our parents.”
Honouring sacrifices
Jaya Das, 62, has dedicated her life to her family and especially bringing up her daughter Treja. For her, an ideal Mother's Day gift is to see her daughter grow up to be more successful in life.
“I became a parent at an older age and my priority was always my daughter and her education. I have supported her in whatever she has wanted to do. Now that she is working and earning, “I have nothing more to ask from her but want to see her be independent and responsible,” says Jaya. For her, each of her daughter’s achievements — from the first utterance of ‘Ma’ to the first job — is a special gift. “Her success makes me feel that all my sacrifices did not go to waste.”
Jaya Das with (centre) her daughter Treja and (Right) her sister Kakoli
Jaya and her family live on the outskirts of the city and with Treja's school and tuitions being away from home, Jaya travelled for hours to ensure her daughter got the best education.
Treja, who works for a pharmaceutical company in Hyderabad, attributes a lot of her success to her mother and her aunt, who is like a second mom. “My mother would wake up in the wee hours of morning to finish all the household chores and accompany me to school and then to tuition classes. She carried everything that we might need, including food and water,” says the young professional.
When asked about the one thing that would make for a great Mother’s Day gift, Jaya has one of the most quintessentially mom answers. “It would be great if she listens to me more often. Also, I'll be happy if she stops splurging money on unnecessary things and tries to save as much as possible.”
