Dear Karishma,
The Kolkata heat and humidity is really making it difficult for me to get physical with my partner, we both feel so uncomfortable all the time. I am also struggling a bit with hygiene and I’m worried about managing skin around my private parts. Do you have any tips on how to best beat the heat in the bedroom?
Lots of love,
Melting Manisha
Dear Melting Manisha,
I FEEL YOU. The heat wave has made most of us want to do nothing but lie flat in bed. What happens when we still want to get sexy?
Ironically, a few studies claim warm weather and sunshine stimulate better hormone production which can lead to a higher libido — but as far as I could tell from a quick search, most of these studies were studying ‘western’ non-tropical regions. I wonder how the results would vary in the 40° weather in India!
I hope some of the tips below let your mood be the only thing that’s sultry this week.
Wash and dry pits and bits
In the heat and humidity, the parts of our body where the skin folds or rubs against each other needs some extra love. A large culprit for funky smells, heat rashes, and infections in our groin or armpits is moisture. Try washing and sponging your armpits and groin more often than usual, and change out of underwear which has gotten damp with sweat — this can look like wearing two briefs a day!
Try washing and sponging your armpits and groin more often than usual, and change out of underwear which has gotten damp with sweat to keep the funky smells away Shutterstock
Some folks also like using a mild soap around their groin — any unscented, diluted soap would work well for people with penises. If you have a foreskin, you may want to pull it back to ensure you are washing out the fluids underneath.
For people with vulvas, mild, unscented soap works well outside the vulva. Please avoid using ANY soap inside the vagina. Yes, not even “pH balanced” soaps designed for intimate care unless specifically advised by your doctor - these can wreak havoc with your natural flora and cause infections.
Bye bye ‘chub rub’
“Chub rub” or the chafing caused by skin rubbing together, particularly for folks with chubbier thighs in dresses or sleeveless clothes, is a key cause of discomfort in heat. Apply baby powders or chafing sticks to reduce friction in that area, especially if you’re doing something active.
Apply baby powders or chafing sticks to reduce chub rub Shutterstock
If you or your partner start to feel heat rashes, boils, or other skin-irritations in your groin, armpits, under your breasts, etc, you may need to up your hygiene and contact a dermatologist for persistent itches.
With your skin feeling loved and gentle, you may feel more open to skin-to-skin.
Get wet — literally!
Hot weather is a great opportunity to finally try the shower sex fantasy. Shower sex, bathtub sex, sex in the bathroom with a bucket of water — all of these can be a fun way to have a no-clothes on, cooling intimate experience. Consider taking in a plastic chair or stool to sit on or lean on, and try not to slip.
Hot weather is a great opportunity to finally try the shower sex fantasy Shutterstock
You may still want to carry in your condoms and lubricant though. While water is wet, it is super ‘drying’ and can make sex uncomfortable due to friction. Imagine trying to use water to lubricate your door hinge — it just wouldn’t work.
Ice ice baby
Another solid friend in the bedroom is ice! That’s right — literally bringing in ice cubes for some “temperature play”. Suck an ice cube before making out for an ultra-cool make-out sesh, or trail an ice-cube along your partner’s body. Find the areas they’re the most sensitive to the temperature change, and where it’s ‘too much’ or ‘just right’. Enjoy!
You can explore with toys to experience pleasure with each other, but with minimal body contact Shutterstock
Love from afar
Try sex positions that let you touch each other a bit less. For instance, masturbating side by side with your partner can allow you both to experience pleasure with each other, but with minimal body contact. You can also explore penetrative sex positions with less body contact or hugging, like “doggy style”.
Sip n’ strip
Spice things up by keeping an icy, chilled drink on your bedside table
Spice things up by keeping an icy, chilled drink on your bedside table while getting busy. And take plenty of breaks to take sips! Staying hydrated can be a fun (and essential) addition to play time on a hot day.
If all else fails, it’s totally okay to take breaks from getting sexy and prioritise cooler activities for peak heat wave days. Napping together, or a movie date, could make for some comfier, non-sexual bonding time. What out-of-the-box sex strategies are working for you this summer?
Karishma Swarup is a Kolkata-born and raised sexuality educator, Instagrammer (@talkyounevergot) and works at a global consulting firm. She busts myths about sex, pleasure, intimacy, orgasms, periods, and all things related to sexual health.
If you have a question you would like Karishma to answer, send an email on mykolkata@telegraphindia.com with the subject line ‘Questions for Karishma’ or DM/comment on our Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.
