If there’s a voice more resounding in the city on mental health, it is Minu Budhia’s. The force behind Caring Minds and I Can Flyy that understands the need for a curated care for special children, Budhia has been consistently trying to engage in healthy dialogue on mental health issues and bridging the gap between what-to-do and how-to-do. The psychotherapist, The Telegraph columnist and TEDx Speaker has now penned her journey and struggle in Death of a Caterpillar and has created a comprehensive manual that seeks to make the world more empathetic and unite to raise voices on mental health. The book was launched on Saturday, January 7, at Hyatt Regency Kolkata. Excerpts from a chat with Budhia before the launch of the book:
Tell us about the genesis of the book Death of a Caterpillar.
Back in 2018 I had written an essay, which grew into a TEDx talk, and eventually my story has now found a home between the pages of a book. The essay and the talk both chronicle my journey with my younger daughter Prachi, who is a special child with Low IQ, ADHD, and Bipolar Disorder, and my personal battle to overcome depression. I was met with such an overwhelming response to both — flooded with warm wishes, encouragement, queries, requests for guidance, that I began wondering how to reach out to more people. During one of these conversations in 2021, a colleague of mine said she believed I had a story that should be told, and told in-depth, and here we are today.
What kind of research did you have to do to write the book?
Since the book is literally my life, I didn’t really have to do much research. For the tips sections on parenting, all the courses, workshops, the mountains of books I devoured, and of course my life itself has been the background work or homework necessary. I am a student of life and my life is my research.
As you have often said, you got into the field of mental health from your personal experience with your daughter. Didn’t you ever feel uncomfortable about sharing your personal life in a book that will be out in the public domain?
When I decided to share my story, I knew I wanted to do it to help every single person with a mental health issue, every mother facing parenting challenges, every person struggling to hold on. Hence, I never felt uncomfortable. It is something for the greater good. If my story can help, then I don’t care about log kya kahenge.It’s actually a pet peeve and a stigma I work to break every single day. Just like the body can hurt from physical injuries, the mind can hurt from emotional trauma. Why am I sharing my journey? Because it is okay, I don’t have to hide who I am or what I’m dealing with. Because every time I share my experience, I help another person open up about their own struggles.
Please share with us an example of challenges you have faced in your journey to break the stigma surrounding mental healthcare.
During my journey to get Prachi the help she needed through treatments and assessments, I had to run pillar to post, across states and across the globe. I realised the need for a multi-speciality mental healthcare facility that would provide international yet affordable onestop psychological solutions under one roof. That’s how I thought of Caring Minds, my institute of mental health.
However, I was met with a challenge almost immediately. Right at the beginning of the Caring Minds journey, I was shocked to find out that residents in the area in which our clinic was to open were protesting. Why? Because they had objections to mad or ‘paagal’ people coming to that location every day. They had even gone to court and obtained a stay order! This happened right before the inauguration was to take place. All preparations were done and staff had been hired. Everything had stalled, but I did not want to get into a long-drawn litigation. The solution? We started the initiative from a single room in our house itself. With some office furniture, a part of my home became the first Caring Minds office and we began our journey. Soon after, we shifted to our present premises.
Who is your target reader? How do you see readers benefiting from this book?
There’s something for everyone… Ideally I would say this book is for anyone looking to add a touch of positivity to their life or a moment of joy to their day. The reason is that while the book speaks of issues I have faced, it also shows how I have overcome them. This cannot only provide a blueprint of sorts, but also serve as motivation to hold on, to not give up. This especially applies to anyone who is facing or has gone through life-altering events or challenges. In terms of age, the book is suitable for 15+ onwards. I would encourage teachers too to pick up a copy of the book as certain chapters will help them to identify the children who need help, and then get them the help they need. When my daughter was in Montessori school, the teachers and principal were unable to recognise that she needed help. Every day was a complaints day, and she was the talk of the staff room. By reading this book, I think they will be able to recognise and understand red flags and behaviours that should be met with compassion and help instead of punishment.
And while it is the journey of a woman, I would not relegate my memoir for the eyes of one gender only. While women will be able to read in between the lines of many anecdotes, men, I think, will benefit too after reading this book. This book is also for parents of all children, not just those raising individuals with special needs. Modern parenting and the reality of life’s rat race has made most of us quite hyper. And even those parents who do not actively pressure their children need to understand that children can watch, observe and learn. There is a rising number of teen suicides, of which many can be stopped if only they didn’t have to live in a mental pressure cooker.
Mental health is a very heavy topic and not everyone would be interested to pick up a book on it for a casual read. What have you done to make it attractive to readers?
Throughout the process of writing the book, this is one thought that was always at the back of my mind. Two things that I did to make sure to connect with a reader were:
First, I was sure I didn’t want a typical paperback or hardback format, i.e. it needed to stand out. So we chose the square size, a scrapbook feel for the pages, lots of watercolour illustrations, photographs and added pops of colour on every single page. The other thing was to format the text into bite-size pieces. There are lots of headings, subheadings, quotes, and a lot of typography too to ensure a visual vibrance. The result was a memoir-meets coffee-table-book. I think I may have started a new subgenre! The story is told chronologically, but you can pick up any chapter at any time, read from start to finish or read only one or two pages to get a peek into the life and times of Minu Budhia.
Do you plan to write more books on the subject in the future?
I’ve had a great response to my column Mind Matters in The Telegraph — it’s been a wonderful way to reach out to the general public and for them to reach me. Responding to their queries and writing on their most requested topics has given me a window into everyday mental health challenges and emotional issues, I may just write another book based on that. What I’m certain of is that through my thought leadership focused on outreach and awareness, I want to keep evolving, moving, and making an impact. As an author, I’d love to keep people curious and guessing.