With emotions changing faster than score lines and referees being blamed more than players ahead of the showpiece final in Qatar, our weekly Offside Awards are back to reward the bizarre, the brilliant and everything in between one last time this year.
As part of our fourth edition, we recognise the exit of world football’s most talked about entity and Brazil, the graceful England and a slightly less graceful Dutch striker, the most supported country not playing in Qatar and a whole lot more.
The Socrates Award for Most Graceful Loser
Unlike England managers of the past, Gareth Southgate processed England’s elimination at the hands of France by focusing on his players instead of himself FIFA
Not many teams take losing a World Cup quarter-final in their stride, displaying admirable dignity en route to the exit door. But this England team is a rarity, as much an example of class as it is of competence at the highest level. Despite being the better team against France and going out on a penalty miss for the umpteenth time in World Cup history, England and Gareth Southgate did not show any post-match resentment, accepting the result for what it was. France won the moments, but England won our hearts. In a week that saw the Netherlands blame Argentina, Portugal blame the referee and Brazil blame destiny, England accepted their flaws and left West Asia with quiet grace. Not exactly the most British thing ever.
The Davids XI Award for the Greatest Giant Killer
Completing a hat-trick of wins in this category is the only African men’s team to ever reach a World Cup semi-final. In what seemed to be Morocco’s 21st century revenge tour against their erstwhile colonial powers masters, the quarter-finals saw the tournament’s favourite underdogs dump Portugal out of the tournament in the last great upset of the competition. Playing with grit, gravitas and lots of gumption, Morocco took an early lead against a bunch of confused Portuguese players and just about saw it through, even though many of their key men had to be sacrificed in the process. The final four against France proved one hurdle too many, but one more surprise is on the cards should Morocco better Croatia to secure third place at the World Cup on Saturday.
The Activism Without Armband Award (presented by Real Courage*TM)
Qatar 2022 has seen swathes of support for Palestine, helped by the fact that the hosts do not have diplomatic relations with Israel FIFA
This World Cup has seen phenomenal fan support, especially for the likes of Argentina and Morocco. But one other nation has been represented with distinction in Qatar, and they did not even play in the tournament. But for football lovers in Qatar, Palestine has been ever-present, with fans waving Palestinian flags and upholding placards championing slogans for Palestine’s liberation (from Israel). And it is not just the Arabs who have done this, with Brazilians, even Europeans (on occasions), making the most of the first World Cup in West Asia to thrust Palestine into the spotlight.
The Instant Vindication Award (presented by TikTok)
When Wout Weghorst signed for Burnley earlier this year (only to be loaned out to Besiktas in Turkey shortly after), he could scarcely have anticipated being called a “fool” by Lionel Messi following a World Cup classic. And yet, that is how fate unravelled for the Dutch striker, who came off the bench to score twice in less than 20 minutes and rattle an Argentine team who seemed to be cruising to the semis. Weghorst’s powerful header gave the Netherlands a way back into the contest, before the most intelligent set-piece of the competition was finished off by the 30-year-old to unlock utter pandemonium. Weghorst then proceeded to miss his penalty in the shootout, though that did not stop him from continuing his secondary job of riling up the Argentines. In the end, Weghorst did not get the win or Messi’s jersey, but he did get the headlines that made him instantly (in)famous.
“I could’ve scored it” Miss of the Week
No penalty is easy to score, not least one on whose execution the survival of your nation depends. As Marquinhos walked up to take his spot kick for Brazil against Croatia, he was aware of the magnitude of a potential miss. Some 50 yards away, Neymar, supposed to be next in line, was already in tears. Once Marquinhos’s shot had hit the goalpost and stayed out, Neymar’s tears did not stop. Marquinhos, perhaps even more shattered, collapsed to his knees. Everyone wearing yellow in Qatar and beyond wanted to be Marquinhos and smash the penalty into the back of the net. Maybe some could have actually scored it, but it is the man who missed who will be remembered, the sound of leather against wood resounding for years to come.
When VAR Went Too Far
Rishi Sunak and Emmanuel Macron have had many a conversation in public (and possibly in private) on the impact of technology on their respective nations. But none seemed as urgent as one on the role of VAR in the aftermath of the England-France quarter-final on Saturday. In a game that saw multiple contentious VAR decisions, England fans were left aggrieved by the penalty (Dayot Upamecano’s possible foul on Harry Kane) that VAR did not give, while the French supporters were miffed at the one VAR did. Fortunately for the latter, Kane’s shot from the second call missed its mark by a wider margin than VAR.
Best Example of Bitter Twitter
British broadcaster Piers Morgan, also known as humanity’s best example of a turncoat, has long mastered the art of being more annoying than Twitter ads. Over the last week, however, he has stepped up the annoyance quotient by a couple of notches, tweeting non-stop in what seems a blatant attempt to trigger fans of Argentina, and Messi, in particular. Morgan, who once called Messi the GOAT (back in 2011), now believes the Argentine captain is not even the greatest from his nation. All of which is fair enough, unless it is done with a drip feed (quite literally) of passive aggressive taunts against Messi and La Albiceleste.
Balloon d’Or (The Golden Balloon)
He did not complain, he did not posture, he did not even throw his armband in disgust. Instead, he slipped down the tunnel in an anticlimactic exit that felt strangely fitting for a man who can no longer manifest his dreams by the sheer force of his will. Cristiano Ronaldo’s last few minutes on the grandest stage were spent in desperation to see the ball over the line against a stubborn Morocco. But the desperation ultimately gave way to despair, as Ronaldo bid farewell to the one major tournament he is yet to add to his glittering resume of wins. Our final Balloon d’Or of this World Cup may not be the piece of gold Ronaldo wants, but it might just be what he needs to keep his spirits up in the hope of an unlikely last dance in 2026, when he will be all of 41.
