This year has been a rollercoaster for me. I had made a resolution on New Year’s Day, to stop holding back and losing time, and to try and tick some things off my bucket list. Attending an international music festival was right at the top of it. I cannot help but share the joy that it brought me to actually have made that happen. I had the privilege of attending the Reading Music Festival this summer.
It is renowned to be one of the largest music festivals in the UK, if not the whole of Europe, and it truly was a dream come true. While it is a three-day-long festival where people get tents and camp out on the grounds for those days, I finished my film shoot just about in time to attend the closing day. To be fair, I have no complaints since that was the day I wanted to attend the most. The headliners were Imagine Dragons who bring forth a lot of high-school nostalgia for me. More important, however, was one of my most favourite current artistes who I have been dying to see live, Billie Eilish.
Anusha
The day began a little chilly, cloudy and windy, which annoyed me slightly because I really was excited to dress up for the festival. As you know, one can never trust the UK weather. I happened to witness in the span of about 15 minutes, heavy rain where the entire crowd, including myself, ran to different places to get cover. I personally ran to the stand-up comedy tent. Then, within mere moments, the clouds cleared and it became sunny but the rain seemed to still persist, slowing to a drizzle. I cautiously ventured out, took my map out and tried to figure out the huge lay of the land. They had two main stages on the eastern and western sides of the grounds and also several smaller stages. There was the dance tent, there was a smaller stage for newer artistes, and a few more. The reason I wish to write about this is to explain just how insanely large the venue was and one has to walk (and sometimes run) miles to get to one stage from the other.
Now, one of the most important things about attending big music festivals like this, I’ve realised, is to make a few very important decisions. The first is to make a list of the artistes, watching whom is non-negotiable for you, and then check the timings and venues of the performances. After that basic structure has been locked one needs to then figure out which other newer artistes one would like to discover watching live. There are far too many artistes and it is not humanly possible to watch everyone. One cannot be at two or more places at the same time. So these decisions should be made very judiciously.
I watched a wonderful, extremely powerful performer called Rina Sawayama; I’d heard only one of her songs before and she didn’t even perform that. It didn’t matter though, she was so present and engaging on stage that I enjoyed it thoroughly. I also discovered a rock band called Hot Milk; they too had unreal energy on stage and triggered the not-so-apparent side of me that absolutely loves emo-rock. Finally, while snacking on some nachos, I calculated just how I was going to make it to the three of my non-negotiables without missing out on any of them.
They were all playing back to back with 10-15-minute gaps in between their performances and on different stages across the massive field. I had to beat the crowd too, considering I had no intention of being absolutely at the back with barely any visibility in any of those performances. I decided then that this was the time I had to bring out my inner athlete, all the pushing, shoving and running I did in school while playing football better pay off now.
Thankfully it did, as did my decent pain tolerance considering the curses my feet were hurling at me for deciding (stupidly) to wear heeled boots while being on my feet, walking, running and dancing for over 12 hours. Now, the three performances that absolutely mesmerised me.
First, in order of performance, was Tom Odell, most famous for his heartbreaking song Another Love. He created an environment which felt ethereal. I do not know if it was his voice, the way he sat on the piano and sang notes and words that played with mine and a thousand other people’s heartstrings. Or perhaps it was the way the light dispersed creating a sort of halo around him, making him look and sound like an angel in ecstatic melancholy. Finally, singing, no, screaming along to the lyrics of Another Love, in a manner of desperation with so many other people, everyone pouring out some of their most intimate feelings in the cover of the crowd was such a cathartic experience I do not think words can cut it.
As soon as that ended I wriggled out of the crowd and ran across the field to reach one of the main stages in anticipation of Imagine Dragons. As I waited for them to take the stage and set it on fire, I watched a beautiful sunset frame the stage, painting its edges in blushing pink and bruising purple. I remember that moment of relative quietness when I let myself truly accept that I’m here and I’m living one of my dreams.
The visuals, the commentary, and the energy of the performance were nothing short of incredible. While I hadn’t heard a lot of their new album, I was a huge fan of their earlier albums, especially Night Visions. They do have some absolute bangers and shaking my head, dancing and singing along to them while also re-realising how powerful their music and lyrics are was an experience I’ll always treasure. They have a sense of catastrophe in their music and I’m greatly drawn to that. The kind of music they make has an intensity and inherent energy which is very hard to not be engaged in. The best moment for me, however, was when Dan Reynolds (their frontman) spoke about how there are so many of us, dying a little bit inside every day, on our own, not letting any of our friends or family know, just silently edging closer to ending our lives. He requested us to look within but also to reach out to anyone, take professional help if it’s available to us, lean on music if nothing else but just try their best to not give in to the darkness entirely. Then, they began singing Demons and I’m not going to lie, I teared up.
The deluge of people that swept across the field to get to Billie was a sight to see and to participate in, considering I was one of them. I couldn’t even feel my feet at this point, I was functioning on sheer adrenaline and willpower. If I had to describe Billie as a performer, the first word that comes to me is warm. She constantly told us how much she loved us and smiled at us with such childish joy. She made the audience participate and sing along parts with her. She flowed between energies seamlessly, from high-energy performances to slow heartrending lyrical ones.
I was a bit sad she didn’t perform Wish You Were Gay but then she more than made up for it by singing my favourite song of hers at the moment, What Was I Made For?. The song speaks to my soul and the way she performed it, with so much emotion made me feel like I both was and wasn’t lonely in a crowd. Finneas, her brother and the genius behind all the quirky production in her songs, was the only other person on stage. Their stage chemistry is incredible. The visuals on the big screens were also really cool, weird and trippy, especially on the more upbeat songs.
She ended her set with Bad Guy and Happier Than Ever and both were just insanely good in terms of performance. We ended on such a high. It was absolute hell returning home after that, and I probably should’ve skipped the last couple of songs if I were smart about it but I don’t regret it. I don’t regret watching a performer be so real. She removed her rings, walked down to the audience and jumped and hugged the people in the first row tightly. Not merely touch their hands, but hug them. Her security team was probably having a heart attack and it was visible from their faces but the whole gesture just felt extremely genuine. So even though it took me about double the time to get home just because I stayed till the end, I don’t have any regrets whatsoever. I’m just grateful to be able to have an experience of a lifetime and now I’m hooked so I can’t wait to do it over and over again.
Rina Sawayama
