We have never experienced a lockdown like this. Public and personal spaces have been transformed almost overnight. With so many new rules to follow, it’s understandable to feel destabilised. But we should still strive to be our best selves as we go about our day.

“Acts of kindness and support in a community are deeply important during any national crisis, but not just for our physical survival,” said Dr Jena Lee, a child and adult psychiatrist and clinical instructor at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA. “Helping others permeates a sense of hope and meaning in our shared humanity that is just as vital to our survival.”

With that in mind, here’s how to navigate some scenarios you’ll likely encounter during this lockdown.

How to talk to your neighbours

Be upfront. Come up with a one-line script in advance. “Explain your approach, which may just help other people decide that they, too, need to take social distancing seriously,” said Carolyn C. Cannuscio, an associate professor of family medicine and community health at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania.

Offer alternatives. If someone asks you to assist them in a way you’re not comfortable with, reiterate your choices and see if there are other ways to help. Instead of leaving your home, Dr Cannuscio said, perhaps you can offer to place an online grocery order for them or drop off something you already have in your pantry.

“You are not saying a flat-out ‘No, I don’t want to help,’” she said. “You are saying, ‘Yes, I care about you and want to help, and here are some ways that I can support you.’”

Be friendly. Showing warmth during a public crisis can be validating and reassuring. Smiling, making eye contact and waving “not only acknowledges your neighbour but can also communicate a stronger social connection while you maintain distance for the shared mission to fight this pandemic,” Dr Lee said.

How to handle public spaces

In close quarters, be gracious. In elevators, narrow hallways or stairwells, look to see if anyone is approaching first, Dr Lee said. Leave enough space and time to respond safely and politely. “If there is no place for you to go, you can kindly ask, ‘Hi, I want to keep you safe, is it possible if you wait so that I can leave this hallway first?’” she said.

If someone is in the elevator that opens for you, smile, step back and wait for the next one. If someone comes into your elevator after you have entered, she said you can politely offer them the ride and leave.

How to respond when you’re overwhelmed by communication

Give some leeway. Do not expect immediate responses from anyone you contact. Similarly, don’t expect yourself to respond to calls and check-ins right away. “Let your people know when you have the bandwidth and when you don’t,” said Summer Brown, a family and marriage therapist.

If you’re inundated, decide which mode of communication is the best for you — texts, emails, calls — and respond only in that medium.

If you have anyone particularly needy in your orbit, regularly review how the communication is going. Suggest adjustments if the frequency of calls isn’t working for either of you. When you do talk with friends and loved ones, Brown said, it’s not a good idea for people to dump their feelings on someone or let yourself be dumped on. It helps to ask for consent first: “Is this a good time for me to vent for 10 minutes?”

If you need a break, let people know you aren’t up to speaking. Brown said we should be authentic, honest and genuine when setting limits. “Hold your ground,” she said. “Don’t get swayed by their tantrum to your limit setting.”

This goes both ways: Accept if someone else declines your invitations to talk. Allow them the space they need.

How to respond to your own anxiety

Manage your own distress. “So often we act like our anxiety is the responsibility of our spouse, our friends, or anyone we encounter who could possibly calm us down,” said Kathleen Smith, a therapist. “You may not have caused the anxiety, but what you do with it, how you handle it, is your responsibility,” Dr. Smith said.

There are plenty of ways to self-soothe when you feel yourself spiralling: meditation, practising better sleep hygiene, and regular exercise can all help manage stress and anxiety.

Mindfully share your anxious thoughts with friends and family. “This might look like saying, ‘Let me share what’s been a challenge to me this week.’ Or, ‘here’s what’s been bothering me. I’d love to hear your own thoughts’,” Dr Smith said. This is a more thoughtful way of asking for help than panicking. “It also helps the other person stay calm,” she said. “They’ll be less allergic to your anxiety and better able to assist you.”

Push pause on social media. Take a beat before you pass your worries onto others, even online.