A school conducted a session for grandparents of children studying in Classes I to V to convey the message that their “overpowering love” should not come in the way of disciplining children and “there should not be any conflict between adults at home” while disciplining the young ones.

Birla High School invited grandparents and parents for a joint session in the last term.

It is important to address grandparents because with most parents working, children spend more time with the grandparents at home, said Farida Singh, headmistress of the school.

“Parents and grandparents have different parenting styles but there must be the same set of rules implemented at home by both generations,” said Loveleen Saigal, principal, Birla High School. “Grandparents tend to be overindulgent sometimes and children tend to use that to their advantage.”

The school has had instances when young mothers have cited helplessness because their approach to parenting does not match with that of their parents.

There have been examples of children getting away with their demands being fulfilled by grandparents even if the parents object to it. Borrowing the grandparent’s smartphone is an easy option for a child in primary school.

Grandparents are in awe of children’s ability to use devices and they ignore the harm it causes, a teacher said.

“My daughter is not allowed to take my phone without my permission. But when it comes to her grandmother, she manages to convince her. My mother, instead of reprimanding my daughter, gets overwhelmed by the fact that her seven-year-old grandchild is using applications that she cannot,” said a parent not associated with Birla High School.

Most schools only invite grandparents to programmes where their grandchildren perform. At Birla High School, the session with grandparents preceded their grandparents’ day function.

“Many children spend most of their time with grandparents. We told them that while they love their grandchildren and would want to shower their love on them, there should not be any conflict in parenting styles between adults living in the same house, whether it is eating habits or use of phones,” said Singh, headmistress of the school.

“The school, parents and grandparents have to work together for the child’s well-being,” said Singh.

Children often end up becoming more dependent on adults for their chores.

“We insist that for things like packing their bags or arranging their things, the children should be trained to do it themselves and independently,” said Singh.

While grandparents can be over-indulgent, new-age parents are more vigilant about a sanitized environment around their children. “Parents would prefer their child to play in a clean air-conditioned environment and not outdoors in the sun or mud,” said a teacher.