Parents should try and keep their anxieties at bay instead of complaining in front of children, a psychologist told a group of parents, mostly in their 30s, on Wednesday.
South Point School organised a webinar on good parenting and how to stay positive for parents whose children are in Classes II and III. Many of the parents are in the early stages of their careers and are under stress because of deadline, pressure at work, more work hours, pay cuts and even job loss or losses in business.
The school counsellor advised parents not to discuss their worries in front of children. Often children can sense such anxieties without parents realising and it can have a long-term negative impact on them, the counsellor said.
Wednesday’s webinar was part of the school’s ongoing session “Good Parenting: Staying Positive and Involved” for parents of children from Nursery to Class V. The first webinar was held on July 27 and the last will be held on August 7.
“Half of the issues in children are because of adults around them. If we want to prevent that we have to counsel parents and hence the need to address parents of children in the primary section,” Anju Chirimar, the school counsellor, said.
It is not easy for parents to not give in to pressure but if they know of the consequences and how it will impact children they will make an effort to control their emotions, Chirimar said.
Most of the parents are young and their responsibilities have gone up in the changed circumstances, she said. “There is stress about one’s job… , of no helping hand and concern about the family’s health and well-being… but try not to discuss them in front of children, who are very young,” Chirimar told parents at the webinar.
“On many occasions, relationship issues, self-harm or even addiction a child develops in their teens can be because of childhood anxiety,” Chirimar said.
The need to be careful is because children at this age can pick up things from the surroundings even though it is not meant for them. “There have been instances where a Class II student started worrying if he would be able to continue school after he heard his mother discuss her financial problems with a friend,” Chirimar said.
The insecurities of parents can get transferred to children if parents are not careful. Some children can internalise it as well, Ishita Sanyal, a psychologist, told The Telegraph.
But parents can still make an effort to share their problems with children who are older or in high school, she said.
The situation now is many people staying in two or three-room apartments with no outlet or outing. Social life has gone for a toss and it is difficult for parents to keep emotions bottled up inside, Sanyal said.
“Parents can talk of their problems with children who are older… it will help reduce their insecurity. Parents can explain it is a crisis they have to face together and they will overcome it. It will also teach them resilience,” Sanyal said.
“The family as a unit is under unprecedented stress in these times… there are some who are facing salary cuts, problems in jobs or businesses. The role of the parents has expanded… they have to start classes for their children and at times supervise them because they are very young… so as a school we decided to reach out to them,” Krishna Damani, trustee of South Point, said.
