Which famous cricketer once insulted Australians by describing them as “big and empty, just like the country”?
Ian Botham.
And which cricketer has just been appointed British trade envoy to Australia, tasked with flogging everything from whisky to cars, biscuits and UK legal services to the Aussies?
Yes, that’s right, it is again Ian Botham, who is variously known as “Beefy” and “Guy the Gorilla”.
His appointment was announced on the eve of the England-India third Test at Headingley, which 40 years ago was the scene of Botham’s greatest triumph, when the all-rounder scored 149 not out after England were asked to follow on by Australia who — required to make 130 — were skittled out for 111, with the late Bob Willis taking 8/43. This has gone down as “Botham’s Test”.
Ian Botham in action against Australia at Headingley in 1981. File photo
One match report in the Daily Mail recalled how the legend was born in Leeds in 1981: “When Botham strode to the wicket on the fourth day of the third Test, England, already 1-0 down in the series and now following on, were 105 for five in their second innings, needing another 122 just to make Australia bat again. What followed was one of the most savage, swashbuckling, audacious, reckless, transformative, famous innings English cricket has ever seen.
“Botham smashed boundary after boundary. He smote 27 of them in all. There was one six, too. ‘Don’t even bother looking for that, let alone chasing it,’ said Richie Benaud, in one of his most famous pieces of commentary. ‘It’s gone straight into the confectionery stall — and out again.’”
For good measure, Botham took 6/95 in Australia’s first innings and scored 50 in England’s first innings.
England’s greatest all-rounder is now a well-lunched 65, runs a wine business, and titled “Baron Botham of Ravensworth”, having been rewarded with a peerage last year by Boris Johnson after expressing support for the Prime Minister’s Brexit policy. Unlike Indian greats, Botham doesn’t waste his time on felicitations. To his great credit, he has walked hundreds, possibly thousands of miles, suffered blisters — but raised £8m for a leukaemia charity.
Botham will now “bat for business down under”, quipped Liz Truss, Britain’s international trade secretary, who has negotiated a free trade agreement with Australia.
The Australians revealed there are no hard feelings. Their high commissioner in London, George Brandis, enthused: “Marvellous news Liz and what a fantastic appointment! Australia looks forward to welcoming Lord Botham down under — and to working with him to strengthen the trading links between our two countries.”
Botham’s relationship with another great all-rounder — Pakistani Prime Minister Imran Khan — remains less cosy. Botham and South African-born England batsman Allan Lamb took legal action in 1995 against the Oxford-educated Imran over allegations of ball tampering and cheating and being labelled “racist, ill-educated and lacking in class”. The case was dropped because of escalating costs. It is not thought the two all-rounders have shared a biryani since.
