As I sat writing this column, there was panic among the Democrats in the United States of America over the approaching presidential election. Most believed that President Joe Biden, who was then trying for a second term, was showing signs of senility and, at 81, was too old to lead the country for the next four years. Incidentally, his opponent, Donald Trump, is not much younger. In a situation where there is no date for retirement, the onus is on the person concerned to ‘let go’. But it is hard to evaluate oneself and even harder to give up power. Ultimately, much to the party’s relief, Biden withdrew from the race.
In another scenario, when does a person realise — if at all — that continuing to pursue a particular career goal would be futile? We have always been reminded that effort and perseverance will earn us success. The story of Robert Bruce and the spider urges us to “Try, try, try again… if at first you don’t succeed.” But this cannot be done indefinitely. The difficulty is to decide when to give up. With young people, there are more choices and time to try them out. But with older people, giving up a familiar line is a far more crucial matter, involving judicious self-analysis and an understanding of the times. Opting for a significant change requires courage, while giving up high positions involves selflessness.
In this context, I will refer to an interesting book. It is a compilation of sarcastic remarks by teachers who were in despair over some ‘impossible’ students. Ironically, these students turned out to be stars in the disciplines in which they performed dismally in school. But we must not forget the many students who came to grief. Ignoring wise counsel, they pursued ‘prestigious’ disciplines for which they neither had the aptitude nor genuine interest. The few who blossomed later were the ones who boldly moved to another field that suited them.
While encouraging perseverance is a good thing, there is also wisdom in getting students to turn to something that would suit them better. The principle is that nobody should give up easily but everybody must gauge whether their efforts are yielding the desired results. The realisation that it is time to change direction is indeed an indication of intelligence rather than failure.
Arthur C. Brooks, a Harvard professor, who writes a column on leadership and happiness, says, “Some scholars believe we have four fundamental human needs: belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence. When you step away from a high-prestige job, you risk losing these.” But if you are not enjoying your work or not performing well, it is time to act. Some of my students recall their miserable experience in the coveted colleges they had struggled to gain admission in. Most of them were resilient and persevered till they graduated. A few left halfway and, I suspect, still carry with them a sense of failure. However, some made a spectacular success of the mid-session change and their move was considered heroic.
Decision-making is difficult simply because one tends to question oneself about ‘the road not taken’. Exploration and experimentation must be encouraged in the young. But alas, no algorithm is available to indicate the correct path. An understanding of one’s limitations and strengths is as necessary as the confidence to take risks. A voluntary choice to change direction or let go at the right time is not appreciated enough. This does not mean that it is acceptable for young people to keep changing their career paths; they must give themselves a reasonable period of time to evaluate the situation properly and not be overly hasty in their judgement. In other words, we must educate our children to be realistically aware of their environment and their own faculties, and be bold about changing direction. This certainly does not amount to giving up. ‘Transition’ is the term that the tennis great, Roger Federer, used to illustrate such moves in his memorable commencement speech at Dartmouth this year.
Every stage in our lives requires us to reinvent ourselves. Hence I keep reminding myself of the lines from the Bible (Ecclesiastes 3) — “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven...”
Devi Kar is director, Modern High School for Girls, Calcutta
