Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeep. Yeh aakaashwaani hai. This is All IndiaThatIsBharat Radio bringing you the news. Shhhhhh... zzzzzz... shhhhhhhhh... rrrrrrrzzzzz... The news, read by Mahadeb. The headlines...
But the headlines are nonsense. They are the same headlines. They are all about the same thing. They are all about the same man. They are all about bad news. News that is not good for us. Those are the headlines. Those have been the headlines these past years. Do you want to hear the headlines again? I am done with those headlines. So, deshwaasiyon, I am giving you the news but I am not giving you the headlines. Enough.
This is All IndiaThatIsBharat Radio, giving you the news. And the news is that your time has come. It is chun aao time. Go out there, now, chun aao. This is Mahadeb, bringing you the news. And this is where I am speaking from, from this tower, from this tower emitting waves of sound that are meant to get to you, to each of you. Chun aao has been announced. It is now up to you. It is all up to you, and how you go about this chun aao.
It is what you do with this chun aao that will determine what happens to you, and everything around you. Do you remember that last chun aao? Do you remember how you went about the last chun aao? Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeep. Remember?
You cannot not remember. Because how you went about the last chun aao is what has happened since the last chun aao. And what has happened? WowVigilantes happened. Since the last chun aao. It became okay to kill on the street for what you thought was not right. Since the last chun aao. It became okay for such killers to be celebrated and garlanded. Since the last chun aao. Akbar was defeated by Maharana Pratap at Haldighati. Since the last chun aao. We passed through 60 years of NothingHappened. Since the last chun aao. GatthuramNodse became a celebrated man because he shot the father of our nation at cold-blooded point blank range, and had many temples and festive felicitations dedicated to him. Since the last chun aao. Chacha was born in a whorehouse and perished in a mussed bed of chronic syphilis consequent to spending a lifetime as delinquent playboy. Since the last chun aao. It became okay for us to ask people among us to buzz off to Bakistan. Since the last chun aao. It became fine that one man decided to abrogate our monies at one stroke. Since the last chun aao. It became fine that access to our hard earned monies was no longer afforded like it used to be. Since the last chun aao. It became normal for the PradhanSewak to make fun of our penury — ghar mein shaadi hai, paise nahin hain!! Tilli lili, tilli lili. Since the last chun aao. It became okay for HeeravToady and FraudulLootsi to ransack our banks and loot away planeloads of public money to furnish payments for new nationalities, islands, estates, penthouses, parties, limos, legal teams, ostrich-hide hideousness, etcetera, etcetera. Since the chun aao. The highest judges in the land had to come out and say they were being pushed around by the powers, something which they had no power to do. Since the chun aao. The highest in the highest investigative agency came out and went squealing to the highest court about how the high and mighty were trying to bully him. Since the chun aao. Ganesha, that goodly God, became a plastic product. Since the chun aao. We have had one party and one-and-a-half leaders; the rest are vermin, snakes, scorpions, cats, dogs, and other manner of reptiles. Since the chun aao. And under those one-and-a-half leaders we have become accustomed to being invaded and killed, and shelled and bombed and often we turn belligerently to invade and shell, and cry about more shelling and bombing to come if more shelling and bombing comes our way. Since the chun aao. And such have we been since the chun aao…
It’s oh countrymen, a time
That should crease your brow
’Cause it’s your concern prime
That we’re again upon a chun aao.
