Disclaimer: This is not about me. This is about the metaphor that has been made of me. There is a difference. There are many differences. Mind joo, mind joo do. Come to think of it — and I can think unlike what joo and jour kind might want to believe — come to think of it, I do not even know how or why I became the metaphor that I have become. Perhaps because I am too believing in the goodness of beings. Perhaps because I am uncomplaining. Perhaps because I am obedient and compliant. I do the job given to me to the best of my ability and I let it be at that. Perhaps all of that made you think you could do with me as you willed, say of me what nasty things you thought, label me in ways so twisted only humans are capable of it.

Nobody asked me. Nobody thought it fit. And now that I am aware of the meaning of the metaphor I have been turned into, quite against and above or under my wishes, I have to tell joo I am most upset at the very least. The difference between who I am and the metaphor I have been turned into is of a prodigious magnitude, let us not get into how prodigious. And let it be known I know the word prodigious and am capable of judiciously putting it to use. The world is not cast in the manner of your skewed and sceptic thinking, I certainly am not. No matter what joo say. I am not this. There, the disclaimer is done. Don’t say I didn’t tell you. You know about my kicking prowess, don’t you? It’s football season, you may well want to find out about kicking, all the kinds of kicks and kicking there can be. I possess some special ones. The metaphor kicks too.

And the real one. Which is me. Look carefully. There I am, or a likeness of me. Look at the face I pull, what does it tell you? Does it not tell you I am thrilled to be who I am? You may not be able to tell from this likeness how irresistibly bright and intelligent I am but you can go home and tell everyone what a beauty you’ve set your eyes on.

I am also a few other things. I am what they call a dunce. There are more things that I am known as and descriptions I fit into but I shall not mention them here, I leave that to your imagination this early winter Sunday. If that description comes to you, well I am that. And all that it means or signifies. I can be obdurate. I can be boorish. I can be, you know, asinine. I am most certainly clannish. Where there is one of us, there may very often be many, doing the same mindless thing as if we were born to unthinkingly imitate and refuse to be persuaded to cease the act of imitation. You’d know what I mean. Often you can hear me. Hear us. When I go, all of us go, and nobody knows why. We don’t either very often. But we rule. You know that. Kar lo jo karna hai.

This much I can surely tell joo

I am not the one who does moo

Be not deluded, not you too

Remember me, dhenchoo-dhenchoo?