Tape hai? No, not the snooping-recording type tape, the other kind. The repairing-sticking wala tape. Hai? But where is it? Get the tape baba, it’s urgent. AndheMaharath is broken we need to mend it, and quick, we don’t need for the whole world to know.

AndheMaharath. But with a name like that. You know, what to do, and what’s in a name after all, why blame the name? I know it is fashionable to blame someone or something other than who should take the blame, but still. Doesn’t look nice. Am I sounding like I am speaking in English? Or am I sounding like I am translating only from some other mother and tongue and translating into Yinglish? Dussint matter, carry on we are like this onely. Who said? Someone previously also sedd naa, but dussint matter, nutting is worjnal, yevvvariting izz remake.

Look at AndheMaharath. Remake. Who made? This remake? Dussint matter. Whoever made it, made it poorly. Poor thing, to have such a poor maker. And such a name stuck on such all-round poverty.

But forget all that, there is no time for this and that when we have AndheMaharath to tend to. Where’s the tape? The wounds are gaping. The flesh has fallen apart, like the skin of a banana peeled this way and then that. Hurry! It’s urgent. This thing is on the rails from the looks of it, but it needs to be quickly put back on the rails if you know what I mean. It is on the rails, but it is not able to move on the rails. It’s some sort of oxymoronic derailment. Ha-haa, oxymoronic! Morons.

Lekin hua kya, as in, what happened? To AndheMaharath? Ha-haa, Maharath! And Andhe, ha-haa! Someone’s on a roll, not this thing, but something else.

But we need to get this thing rolling as well. It hit something. Or something hit it, to be precise. It was on the rails, it did not go out of its way to hit something. Something came into its way and hit it. What that something was we shall not say because to say that will be to court trouble or worse. Let’s not go there, let’s learn from the mistakes of others. Let’s not blame those somethings because nowadays they have become really quite somethings. Look at the way they walked into AndheMaharath! No fear, head on in full gear. And nothing happens. I mean what happens, happens to AndheMaharath, poor thing with such a poor name and such a poor maker. It breaks, like a toy, a cheap and flimsy one. Those kinds, remember, the ones you could fix with cellotape. That reminds me, where’s the tape. Because AndheMaharath needs attending, it’s crying out...

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