Pride Month stands for a community’s fight for basic rights. Celebrated all throughout the month of June around the world, Pride Month also raises awareness about the rights of the LGBTQIA+ community, shedding light on the stereotypes and stigmas that the community faces.
As June draws to a close, My Kolkata reached out to members of the queer community for their thoughts on Pride Month and the challenges they continue to face. Excerpts…
‘Queer people remain queer all through the year’
Bishan Samaddar
Bishan Samaddar, editor at Seagull Books, is proud of his identity. Bishan helms the Pride Literature section of Seagull Books, which gives him the chance to meet people with diverse stories and backgrounds. “To me, Pride Month is important because it marks the progress that has been made in securing LGBTQ+ rights and visibility across the board in our society. It is, at the same time, a reminder of how much more needs to be done to achieve a semblance of equality,” believes Bishan.
Societal evolution and acceptance of members of the LGBTQIA+ community into the mainstream during the Pride Month is something that he takes note of. “But, I must say that this must extend to every month of the year — not the celebrations or the parties, but the recognition, the acceptance, the equal treatment. Because we queer people remain queer all through the year,” he said.
Bishan is breaking stereotypes in his own way. “Most queer people are just as 'normal' as straight people. More focus should be on queer people leading their lives successfully in conventional jobs or careers. This will send out the message that queer people are like everyone else in most ways and they are every walk of life, contributing to society,” he says.
— Bishan Samaddar, 45, editor
‘My sexuality or gender is not my whole identity’
Dr. Abubakar Parvez
“There's a list of stereotypes I can give you that are associated with the queer community,” said Dr. Abubakar Parvez. The doctor shared how queers are often thought to be indecent, available and desperate for sex.
Awwboo, as he is affectionately called, believes “This age-old idea of queers being ‘desperate’ and ‘available’ subjects us to a different kind of discrimination and injustice. Our personal space is not respected because apparently, we don't need one. But how do I explain that it's a fundamental right and we do respect it as much as we want it to be respected?” Awwboo asks.
To him, his identity is much more than the labels and attributions. “Coming to the point of indecency, year after year, queers have been oppressed for their expression of identity, sexuality and gender. It definitely comes off as a defence mechanism where people are as loud as they can be, to prove and show that they exist,” he said.
Out, proud and loud, the doctor is a vociferous advocate of establishing one’s identity. “My sexuality or gender is not my whole identity. I have created a whole different world of my own where these are important aspects of my life, but never the whole of it,” he says.
— Dr. Abubakar Parvez, 25, doctor
‘We cannot ignore that queer identities are invisibilised’
Gourab Ghosh
For Gourab Ghosh, Pride Month has a specific meaning — standing up against oppression. “We cannot ignore that queer identities are invisibilised,” said Gourab, as he spoke about how Pride Month is celebrated in the month of June all over the world to remember a particular watershed moment in the global LGBTQIA+ movement. The educator further remembers the Stonewall Uprising that happened in 1969 in New York City.
“To make yourselves visible, one of the ways is to remember and re-remember the history of oppression and resistance of the queer people,” opined the rights activist.
“All effeminate or feminine men are not gay” — states Gourab, clearing one of the most common stereotypes. Another societal understanding regarding transgenders is also something that he wants to clear. “Transgender is an umbrella term under which there are a lot of other identities. I would want people to actually understand what transidentity is,” says Gourab.
— Gourab Ghosh, 40, educator, performer, queer rights activist
‘Many believe that gay relationships put society in jeopardy’
Debalina Majumder
For filmmaker Debalina Majumdar, Pride Month signifies celebrating their existence. A special date or a month denotes the importance of an event. The queer rights activist breaks the shackles through her films and documentaries — addressing various notions associated with the LGBTQIA+ community. “Any news related to the queer community on social media draws flak in the comments section, which further says a lot about the prevalent societal understanding,” says Debalina.
Debalina has come across misinformed comments on how the queer community in particular is ‘sex-starved’. The other understanding is “how society believes that gay relationships are a hindrance to progeny, thereby putting society in jeopardy” says Debalina. “It is an allegation towards the queer community, which is accompanied by the understanding that this community is perverse,” shared Debalina, who has made a documentary called Gay India Matrimony, which addresses various aspects of queer relationships.
— Debalina Majumder, 52, filmmaker
‘Pride is a celebration of the freedom to live our lives the way we want, without discrimination’
Biplab Das
Thirty-year-old professional make-up artist Biplab Das believes Pride Month is important because it is necessary to remember the past and the fact that people fought for the rights of the queer community, and paved the way for the way things are today. “It wasn’t always this free and comfortable for us. Pride Month celebrates our existence in society,” he said. He believes we should mark this just the way we would mark Independence Day, because Pride Month “is the celebration of the queer community’s freedom to live our lives exactly the way we wish to — without being discriminated against, bullied or judged”.
When it comes to stereotypes, Biplab thinks it is time people stopped ‘sex-shaming’ members of the LGBTQIA+ community. He feels society often finds them an easy target and assumes everyone queer is promiscuous. “People think we are all about sex. It is hard for them to understand that our choices or way of living is no different. They tend to judge a gay, trans or bi person simply on the preconceived notion that they are all about sex without knowing anything else about their lives.” He would like to see this mindset change and for people to stop judging anyone simply on their sexuality.
— Biplab Das, 30, make-up artist
‘Pride is a celebration of everything we are, have been, and are deemed to be’
Aavash Tulsyan
“If prejudice is deeply ingrained, the shame that results from experiencing that prejudice is ingrained many levels deeper," says Aavash Tulsyan. The entrepreneur and teacher believes that being ridiculed, teased, or harassed due to one's gender expression or sexual identity is, unfortunately, far too common. “Our skin is part Teflon, part scar tissue, and part broken glass. Pride is a celebration of everything we are, have been, and are deemed to be because we are so gorgeously unique,” he says.
“Pride is because we are, despite everything and everyone in our lives that has asked us to be otherwise," says the 29-year-old.
Aavash believes in breaking the stereotypes associated with the LGBTQIA+ community. Name-calling or stigmatising the queer individuals, calling them “sexual deviants, perverts, and predatory,” need to be put on a halt. “This notion is far too prevalent, particularly among men and women wrestling with their own insecurities and having trouble looking beyond the confines of externally enforced gender roles,” says Aavash.
Children growing up around members of the LGBTQIA+ community does not affect the young minds’ understanding — another prevalent notion that he wants to bust. “Having us around your children will not mess with their heads. In all likelihood, your kids will grow up with an appreciation of perspectives and realities that vary from their own, or they might recognise who they really are in the courage that we display," says Aavash.
— Aavash Tulsyan, 28, entrepreneur and teacher
‘Sexuality and gender are deeply individual choices and need to be respected’
Rukshana A. Kapadia
Pride Month is important because it helps to celebrate a community that has been marginalised and segregated simply because they were not heteronormative. It gives our LGBTQIA+ community dignity and celebrates diversity, equity and inclusion. It helps create a world where an individual is judged on their character and merit rather than slotted in a stereotype because of their sexuality.
There are too many mainstream “characterisations” for LGBTQIA+ folk. Sexuality and gender are deeply individual choices and need to be respected. In an age where knowledge is so much more accessible, it is strange that there are still so many misconceptions — queer women must be attracted to all women. Quite honestly, we are not — we are as selective as straight women. But, my biggest concern is the “this must be a phase you’re going through” statement. Being queer is not a phase; it’s how you’re wired and will not change and this is one stereotype I would love to see broken for our entire community at large
— Rukshana A Kapadia, 51, co-founder, Ammolite Ideators F&B Consultancy
