Describing protests against the Agnipath scheme across the country as “vigorous debates”, the Government of India decides to implement a wild card option for those who are not selected for permanent positions in the Indian Armed Forces after four years of service. Preliminary reports suggest that to be eligible for a wild card, a soldier must have watched Uri: The Surgical Strike at least 25 times.
Meanwhile, speaking of films, Faran Akhtar says that with the Agnipath scheme in motion, he is looking forward to a sequel of his 2004 film Lakshya, which can now be made as a tragic documentary.
Elsewhere, the Vancouver Film School has decided to bestow an honorary doctorate on Narendra Modi after the Prime Minister was spotted giving expert directions to his camera crew during his recent visit to Bengaluru.
Wondering what else happened while you questioned why people study for real doctorates these days? Here’s presenting the top stories from the week that should have been.
June 20
Ursula von der Leyen hails Ukraine as the perfect candidate for the European Union since it already knows what it is like to be pushed around by Vladimir Putin TT archives
- Ursula von der Leyen, President of the European Commission, responds to Ukraine becoming eligible for membership of the European Union by saying that “I’m delighted at being able to fast-track the process of letting Ukraine get an insider’s view of how Europe subverts its interests”.
- Israel’s coalition government has resigned after acknowledging that the country’s political system is so comprehensively rigged that only a corrupt genius like Benjamin Netanyahu can run it.
June 21
Priti Patel adds that ever since Meghan Markle, the UK has had enough of dealing with America’s problems TT archives
- UK home secretary Priti Patel defends her decision to approve Julian Assange’s extradition to the US on the grounds that “transferring the responsibility of squashing journalistic freedom to the nation that provoked the matter in the first place is the morally right thing to do”.
- On National Yoga Day, hundreds of Indians go viral for practising the inflasana, an extremely demanding exercise where one attempts to keep their spirits as high as possible notwithstanding the strain of ever-rising prices.
June 22
The BJP has clarified that nominating Droupadi Murmu for President has everything to do with shoring up the Adivasi vote for the next five years TT archives
- The BJP has announced the candidature of Droupadi Murmu for the position of the President, citing how “the role of the nominal head of India is the most judicious place for gender, geographical and communal tokenism”.
- After five days of relentless questioning by the Enforcement Directorate (ED), Rahul Gandhi finally admits that he pays others to write his tweets for him.
June 23
Kit Harrington reveals that years of playing Jon Snow have turned him into an insomniac
- Asked by a Vanity Fair reporter about reprising his role as Jon Snow in a Game of Thrones spinoff show, Kit Harrington replies: “You know nothing.”
- The Organisation for Surveillance of Petty Pastimes (OSPP) has found that the recipient of the most Father’s Day messages this year was Keanu Reeves, who is childless.
June 24
Shakira says that polyamory would never have worked with Gerard Pique since he struggles to score from open play
- Shakira confesses that her relationship with Gerard Pique did not last since the Barcelona defender was obsessed with keeping clean sheets in his personal life, too.
- Dr Julian De Silva, a facial cosmetic surgeon who used the golden ratio of white supremacy to adjudge Robert Pattinson, Bradley Cooper, Henry Cavill, Brad Pitt and George Clooney as the five most attractive men in the world, has been recruited as the latest member of the Aryan Looks Matter (ALM) movement.