Overt display of children’s achievements on social media by parents creates unhealthy competition among kids as small as those in primary school, said several school principals.
Online classes are over but parents are “invisibly present” in classrooms, allege teachers.
They (parents) foster this unhealthy competition by comparing notes or reporting about grades or achievements, they added.
Everything is in excess, whether it is celebrating a child’s rank in class or the feeling of being upset because he or she has missed a certificate, complained one school head.
It is not just academic achievements but sports or even minor co-curricular activities: success of any level is immediately there for people to see on social media.
“Such posts on social media generate unhealthy competition because those who have not got a prize feel left out if they see others putting something up... it can also generate envy,” said Amita Prasad, director, Indus Valley World School.
Prasad said there was no need for parents “to go overboard” about an achievement “or feel extremely let down by their child’s failure”.
Every bit of a child’s life is overexposed, a teacher said.
Damayanti Mukherjee, principal of Modern High School for Girls, said such overexposure takes away the “happiness of achieving something”. “It seems that unless it is on display it is not an achievement. All success is not meant for applause but something that gives a sense of satisfaction.”
Children are perceptive and understand what their parents see as success or failure.
Parents need to use “certain discretion”, said Suman Sood, director, BD Memorial Junior School.
“Such repeated posts can be demotivating for other children. Besides, it is not good for their children, too. They grow up egoistic or behave like a know-it-all,” said Sood.
A child may not have access to social media but the parents’ wish to have the child featured on such platforms puts pressure to perform.
Most schools have replaced marks with grades in the junior classes but the competition among parents continues.
The competition among junior children is because of parents’ aspirations and expectations from their children, said teachers.
While in online classes they would hover around the child, now they try to find out what is happening in class. “It is not always a benign presence,” said Prasad.
“A child has a special world with peers and teachers. School life and life at home need not always collide,” said Mukherjee.
Social media acknowledgement perhaps gives parents a validation of their parenting process, said Rodney Borneo, principal, St Augustine’s Day School Shyamnagar.
“Social media has made it so much easier to disburse information that it is difficult to discern between what is an authentic achievement and what is part of the growing up process that includes failures too,” said Borneo.
Pratima Nayar, junior school principal at Calcutta International School, does not see only negativity in such posts. “It is about how content is put up. An achievement of another child can also be a source of inspiration for others,” she said.