A woman who is an entrepreneur and heads her own venture was asked “saab kahan hai?” to which she replied “hum hi saab hai”.
The woman was Doma Wang, the founder and owner of Blue Poppy, a chain of restaurants that she runs with her two daughters and niece. The chain has 70 men in the staff.
The momos that many now swear by started in the early-1990s at Rs 25 a plate. Wang had no fancy packaging and would deliver the momos in small plastic bags across Salt Lake.
Women who are single shared their experiences of a world that discriminates against them, labels them and frowns upon them for their status at a programme on Sunday titled Celebrating Status Single.
Status Single is a community for single urban women.
Wang was speaking at a session titled the Face of Singlehood, with Anindita Sarbadhicari, filmmaker and single mother through IVF, and Paromita Chakravarti, professor of English at Jadavpur University.
While women shared their experiences and challenges, the recurrent narrative at the programme was the need for financial independence.
“I have never stopped working. I always believed that I have to be financially independent. I have never asked my ex-husband for money,” said Wang.
Status Single’s monthly meet-ups are nothing short of a celebration. Revelry coincides with sharing the challenges of being single in an urban setting. The group holds discussions on policy matters that affect them and the need to build a sisterhood for practical, emotional and mental support.
On Sunday, the community’s founder, writer Sreemoyee Kundu, said that as per the 2011 census, 39 per cent of the women in India are single — which is 71.4 million women.
“Despite so many single women, we are still somewhat an anomaly. Especially, since in India, marriage and motherhood are given a premium place. So many women battle physical, emotional and financial abuse, discrimination and isolation at many levels from their peers, families and society,” said Kundu.
“No matter how successful a woman is, her marital status is a huge point of discussion, gossip, exploitation, abuse, harassment and workplace politics. There is no sensitisation towards single women because we assume a woman naturally progresses from her father to her husband,” she said.
Status Single’s plan for this year is to meet online and offline to discuss issues important to women in India — jobs, careers, single parenting, custody sharing of children, legal and financial issues, caregiving and assisted living.
Kundu talked about how women need legal help not only for divorce but also because many are cheated of their property and inheritance rights.
Being single doesn’t mean the woman is anti-men.
“One of the basis of patriarchy is to put men as the context and everything else in relation to them.… Feminism is not about men, it is about us. Feminism is not about wearing the pants in the family. It is not about anybody else,” said Mallika Sarabhai, artist, human rights and justice activist and single mother, who spoke to Kundu in a session at the programme.