Abhishek Ray and Chaitanya Sharma, a gay couple who tied the knot in a grand ‘social wedding’ last year in Kolkata, voice their thoughts on the verdict of the five-judge constitution bench regarding marriage for queer couples. The Supreme Court refused to grant legal recognition to same-sex marriages in India on October 17, 2023.
Abhishek Ray: A mix of disappointment and optimism
I must admit I’m disappointed, as I had high hopes for a verdict in favour of same-sex marriage. Nevertheless, there’s a glimmer of optimism. The discussions seem to be moving in a positive direction, and this gives me hope.
For the Supreme Court to acknowledge that being queer is a natural phenomenon known to India for ages, and is neither urban nor elitist, is a significant milestone. This recognition extends to people from rural India, where merely mentioning the term ‘gay’ is taboo. The court’s directive to the police to prevent harassment of queer couples, ensure ‘safe homes’ and sensitise the masses is a much-needed step.
The mere fact that the whole Bench was talking openly about queer rights, child adoption and the marriage rights of transgender individuals is encouraging. How it is implemented comes later. I am sure they will look into the pros and cons. Today, I felt that, in a way, people in power were for the first time showing empathy.
‘We pay the same taxes and contribute to society, so why should we not have the same fundamental rights?’
Chaitanya and I, married for a year now, still face obstacles like jointly purchasing property through a home loan. In case of any unfortunate event, my blood relatives could contest the will I leave behind, causing complications for Chaitanya. Our passports and visas label us as ‘single’, which can be problematic in foreign countries. We’re in a state of limbo, and the sooner our rights are established, the better for all of us.
The court’s directive to the Indian government to constitute a committee to determine the rights and privileges of individuals in queer relationships is a positive development. This committee could potentially grant queer couples family status on ration cards, allow joint bank accounts, access to pension benefits, gratuity, and mental health support. Now, the responsibility falls on the government to implement these changes, and we remain hopeful.
As for the queer community in Kolkata, there’s a sense of congratulations and support for the discussions moving in our favour. We had envisioned proper registration and recognition of our marriage had the verdict been different. Though we have not reached our desired destination, the journey has begun, and we are determined to keep moving forward.
Chaitanya Sharma: It feels like we’re back to square one, but the fight is far from over
The verdict saddens me.
I spent three hours watching the proceedings on YouTube today at our home in Ballygunge. I am in Kolkata to celebrate our first Durga Puja together.
The movement for change has been ongoing for a long time, and it’s disheartening to hear that the court claims that they lack the power to amend the Special Marriage Act (SMA). It is even more ironic that the opposing party (the government) is being asked to form a committee.
A notable change is that transgender individuals can marry someone of the opposite gender, whether they are born trans or cis. However, for the rest of us, nothing has changed. Families will still resist queer relationships, asking on what basis we wish to marry. It’s a valid concern, as parents seek legal security for their children, knowing they won’t be around forever.
The legalisation of same-sex marriage would have been a victory for millions of queer people and their familes, not just for us. One of the judges is retiring on October 20, and this could have been his last chance to make a notable change. Now, families may pressure queer children into what’s called “lavender marriage”, which is a mixed-orientation marriage to conceal sexual orientation.
Abhishek feels that there is cause to hope that this will start the conversation for bigger change, while Chaitanya feels that the fight is far from over for same-sex couples in India
We receive numerous DMs and messages from queer individuals who are financially dependent on their families, many of whom are still in college. Until they start earning, they must follow their parents’ wishes. What about their mental health? If sharing our story in public can influence or change someone’s perspective, that’s all we want.On one hand, the court acknowledges our sexual orientation, but on another, it denies us fundamental rights.
It feels like we’re back to square one, but the fight is far from over.
