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Competitive parents in Kolkata eroding kids’ values

Guardians ‘too unreasonable’, they want every activity to be a contest, say teachers

Jhinuk Mazumdar Kolkata Published 16.03.23, 06:42 AM
  • A parent of a Class III student at a south Kolkata school pleaded with the school management that the kid be allowed to take an online exam in the recently concluded final term because they had to leave for California “urgently”. During the online test, the child told a teacher he was in Kolkata.
  • Several parents who want to get their children enrolled in Class XI at a city school asked the management whether the children could be “dummy students” — their names would be on the rolls but they would prepare for competitive exams instead of attending classes.

Schools in the city are encountering strange requests from parents more than ever before. Several veteran teachers said they often do not know how to react or respond to such requests.

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Some parents are “too unreasonable” and they insist the schools fulfil their wishes, the teachers said.

“At times, we do realise the parents are not being honest, but there is hardly anything we can do in the absence of evidence to nail their lie. We have no option but to believe them,” said a school administrator.

The south Kolkata school had sent teachers to the student’s home to verify whether the family was in California or Kolkata. The teachers said there were people in the house when they visited but no one answered the door. The parents later told them the house was being “occupied by relatives”.

“When we don’t have evidence, we have no choice but to let it go. Parents are setting a wrong example before the child and a wrong value system,” said Amita Prasad, director, Indus Valley World School.

Highly competitive parents expect students to compete and excel in everything they do.

“Schooling has been reduced to a mere certification and parents are more bothered about their children scoring the highest marks or cracking a competitive exam. They are not bothered about social skills, linguistic skills and coping skills,” said Rodney Borneo, principal, St Augustine’s Day School Shyamnagar.

The Telegraph reported on March 4 about a study, “Online education and its effect on teachers during Covid-19: A case study from India”, published in the peer-reviewed journal PLOS One. The study says: “They (teachers) also reported that family members had been helping students to cheat in exams because they wanted their children to get higher grades by any means necessary.”

It adds: “In response, the teachers had tried to devise methods to discourage students and their families from cheating, but they still felt powerless to prevent widespread cheating.”

Teachers in Kolkata say the expectation to excel is not limited to parents of students in higher classes. It has seeped into the junior-most level, too where every activity is seen as a competition.

If the school refuses to make an event competitive, the parents do not feel “encouraged to prepare the child”, a teacher quoted a parent as saying.

In a kindergarten class, spelling is an activity where children are expected to go to the next round if they clear the previous one. But parents want the school to give a certificate because without that the child will not feel motivated to learn and grow.

“It has become the school’s responsibility to not just educate the child, but parents as well,” said Nupur Ghosh,vice-principal, Mahadevi Birla World Academy.

At least one principal said schools are responsible, too, for fuelling the unhealthy competition. “How many of us in our prize day give prizes for cooperation and collaboration,” said Suvina Shunglu, principal, Sri Sri Academy.

When children see their parents and their school are not on the same page, it further erodes the value system.

“The school and parents often do not speak the same language. If the child gets a whiff of the strife between the two, they know how to play it,” said Jessica Gomes, principal, Loreto Convent Entally.

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