The day of love has different things in store for different people. Whatever the plan and thoughts for Valentine’s Day, the language of love covers all bases. There are giggles and butterflies, confusion and grief, and just good ol’ romance. Here’s a 26-item list to make you think, chuckle or LOL this Valentine’s Day…
A for Aaj mon cheyechhe ami hariye jabo
Valentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to get on the move and plan a quick getaway. Go for a long drive, plan a day trip if night stay makes the folks look for Sorbitrate, or if you can swing it then plan an impromptu vacation. After all, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara! What are those planned leaves for if you cannot catch a vacay with the bae (or by yourself)?
B for Biryani khabe?
Because food is a love language, and biryani is the best love letter. And if you’re in Kolkata, there are options galore. Take a pick and it’s a date (of the best kind).
C for Chahoon main ya na
Shakespeare has immortalised our perpetual state of dichotomy with “to be or not to be…” If you’re in that unfortunate conflicted state of mind, recently broken up, or on a rebound, maybe this is the V-Day to have a do and don’t checklist. ‘Spend quality time with yourself’- do. ‘Drop a DM to the ex/ ex-adjacent’- don’t. If you’ve found yourself in a triangle of the worst shape — the love triangle, remember that Faiz said, aur bhi dukh hai zamane mein mohabbat ke siwa.
D for Doya kore break up koro na
The fear is real and we can only manifest it to not happen, and definitely not today. Agey, rab rakha.
E for Ebar bolo tomar barir lok ki bollo amay dekhe
Introducing your Valentine to the fam might seem romantic but this is not really the kind of talk you want to have today. In fact, this isn’t the day to plan anything that might lead up to this talk, especially if you don’t know which way the wind will blow. If the lead-up has already happened then let the clock strike 12 and the calendar move on to February 15, and then have a threadbare analysis on whether you can ask Alexa to play Ek din aap yun or is it going to be Kar har maidan fateh for ya’all.
F for Fight Club
You do not talk about Fight Club, not today. Channel all your love and patience and remember why you chose this person. With so much love in the air and practically everywhere one can land the eyes, soak in the vibe and suck up the jhogra.
G for Ghoti gorom khabe?
Looking at the setting sun, walking hand in hand on the Maidan or the garden at Victoria Memorial with a cup of lebu chaa and ghoti gorom is a warm reminder of those pre-employment gorer maath dating days. From there to being a tax-paying adult today, we all might have come a long way, but revisiting simpler joys can never get old.
H for Hnuh! tomar oi office'er chheleta/meyeta motei ghyama dekhte noy
Even if the supposed colleague has “the height” and the “ideal BMI”, the verdict is not-good-enough and it is in your best interest to shake your head in affirmative when the partner utters these words. Be wise, take the hint, catch the tone and not the casual shrug.
I for Ishq vishq all good, maine koto pao?
A very important question, but high time it breaks the social construct of being only directed towards the men. Break the stereotype already, and open your mind to the possibility of Bela singing “Chakri ta ami peye gechhi ogo shunchho.”
J for Jaat, paat dekhle prem hoy naki pragati hoy? Barike bojhao
It’s 2023 and stigmas must be buried so deep that even the strongest magnetic force fails to bring them back up. So if your fam isn’t jamming for your way to love and happiness, talk some sense into them.
K for Kuch meetha ho jaye?
Say it with lots of love, and the classic gift of chocolates. I mean haven’t those Cadbury ads through the years taught you anything? If you had a little nok jhok right before V-Day, or are just looking to do something sweet, a favourite dessert is rarely the wrong gift. Show up with chocolates and flowers, and an apologetic grin and build from there.
L for Love me thoda aur
How much love is too much love is not a quantifiable data. Pamper your jaan-e-jigar with thoughtful gifts and gestures and the gift of your time — watch a movie together, stay in or go out but make the most of this day.
M for Mere baare mein kya khayal hai
It's the official pick-up-line-flexing day. So pick a good one, and try your luck.
N for Nothing’s gonna change my love for you
It’s the day to pledge your heart and forever. Sure, V-Day is a high-pressure day for many, but if you think you’ve found the one then let them know that nothing will change your love. Cue the George Benson classic.
O for Ota tomay ke message korchhilo?
See, if you are double timing, you will get caught. Karma is a… good Samaritan who gets real mad on people who cheat. Hence, if you are the lucky one who is truly, dearly loved, don’t mess it up. The wrath of a sniffing partner can make your V-Day into your D-Day (read doom, damnation and destruction, etc etc).
P for Prem, propose and V-Day
If you have been mulling over it, there’s no better day to get down on one knee. It might be a bit of a cliche but if gooey love is your thing, go for it.
Q for Qawali shunei jawani ketey gelo
There should be a club for singles to celebrate V-Day, you know, a live version of dating apps. The USP of the club will be that the music starts with qawalis and turns into KJo-special love songs with every ‘right swipe’ moment. If you don’t have a date today, work on this profitable (and unique) idea.
R for Rooth na jana…
Aaj kichhutei dekhata hochche na Bela because the chaakri I sang to you about on the phone is now looming over our time and my me-time. Man proposes, office disposes. A date post logging out sounds like a plan though.
S for Saat jonmo jeno tomake pai
Cue the cheesy feels, because it’s the day for it. It’s okay to feel all lovey-dovey on V-Day. It’s just fine to blurt out too. You do you, okay?
T for Tumse bada koi nahi
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love and experiences, and the most important love relationship is the one you have with yourself. Plan a day all for yourself and show yourself the love you deserve. Celebrate your milestones, pamper yourself and just have a good time.
U for Uff teri ada
The way that girl in your office puts hair behind her ears, the little sideways glance you’re aware of but don’t really acknowledge, and all those things about your partner that makes your heart go dhak dhak — maybe today’s the day to let them know the haal of your dil. needs to be translated into a compliment. Drop one. An honest praise hurts no one but might lead to something sugar and spice, and everything nice…
V for Vowing to keep you happy forever
Are you walking towards your big, fat Indian shaadi? How about a little private thing for just the two of you. Get out of your shy shell and make a vow or two and maybe Cupid will seal it with an arrow — when he finds some time suring the busiest day of business.
W for Woh ladki/ladka (from the Saraswati Puja pandal) hai kahan
The one in basanti hues you locked eyes with over anjali at Saraswati Puja must be known to someone right? Time to respectfully slide into a DM and find out what can happen over coffee?
X for the ex I don’t know about. Daya, pata lagao
A Valentine of your Valentine you didn’t know about? Well, as long as you’re going to be nice about it and not bring the house down, a little bit of ACP Pradyuman skills and social media sleuthing is allowed.
Word of advice, do your research but remember the past is the past, and at present your Valentine is probably planning a lovely date for you.
Y for Yaaron dosti, b(a)estie, cutie
‘Pyaar dosti hai… Dosti bina pyaar hota hi nahi hai…’ said the SRK. Often, best friends make the best romantic partners. If you have been crushing hard on your bestie and want to take a chance, maybe ask them out today. You might end up like Abir Chatterjee in Baishe Srabon and later in Dwitiyo Purush, but if they’re your best friend you might find a way to move past it too. Let’s translate those butterflies into words. Good luck!
Z for Zor ka jhatka hai zoron se laga
…Shaadi bann gayi umar kayd ki saza. Nope, don’t take those words to heart. For all those married couples whose everyday post-shaadi life has eclipsed the romance and marriage is starting to look like a long cultivated habit, take a breath. Smell the roses, your partner’s perfume, maybe even the baby powder and take some time to spend with the one you love. Travel back in time to the days when dates were planned and get cracking. At the end of the day, love triumphs all.
