Kareena Kapoor Khan’s Pregnancy Bible allows her fans a glimpse into the good, bad and bloated of being pregnant. This excerpt is taken from the section titled ‘Your emotions’, from the chapter, Your First Trimester, where she covers comprehensively all the physiological and psychological changes that pregnant women can expect.
Childbirth is the leading cause of fear among most women. There is the fear of handling the pain of a vaginal birth or worries over a Caesarean. You know that feeling of nervousness in the pit of your stomach before a big exam? It may just take you back to those days in school. Writing your thoughts down might relieve some of those anxieties. Make lists – shopping, to-do, exercises, meditation targets and work deadlines; staying task-oriented might actually give your anxieties a good outlet. The most important thing to remember is that this is the world’s most natural process, that countless women have been on this journey. You are not alone.
April 2016, Koh Samui. Yoga on the beach. I was pregnant with Taimur but didn’t know it, and would only find out when I got back to Mumbai
Those ‘raging hormones’ can also make you feel emotionally wrought. You may catch yourself fighting with your partner, snapping at a colleague or scolding your older child – and regretting it the next day. Remember, you haven’t turned into a monster, and that this is a passing phase. Feeling angry and alienated is very much a real thing – no matter what a rosy little bubble people think your pregnancy is.
Try and figure out where this anger is projecting from. For instance, do you feel your partner isn’t as involved or attentive as you’d like? Do you think your family isn’t pitching in enough? Do you sense an inequality at your workplace? Your emotions can follow any narrative. This is the right time to just find someone you can talk to about these feelings – your partner, a friend, family or even a counsellor. Your partner can step in at this stage – their role is an important component of your 40 weeks
Here I am in June 2020. I didn’t know I was pregnant with Jeh and would discover it only a few days later – though with him, I just knew another baby was on the way as soon as the symptoms hit.
Many moms also feel a strong nesting instinct in the third trimester as the due date comes closer. It is basically a compulsive need for you to plan, clean, decorate and prepare for your baby. It could manifest as a mad shopping urge or a manic spring-cleaning spree in your house. It’s quite likely because you want everything to be perfect for your little one. Just bear in mind that you are also getting big and are tiring faster, so stop to rest and stay clued in with the signs your body is giving you.
7 months pregnant with Jeh. I had gained a lot of weight but was comfortable with it and happy in my skin. When Puma asked me to do this shoot, I was game
Then there are pregnancy dreams! Have they happened to you already? For a lot of women, pregnancy dreams kick in during trimester three. There is no rocket science behind these dreams, so you don’t need to overthink them. Essentially, all your hormones and your emotions – whether joy, fear, ambivalence, uncertainty, anxiety, excitement – need an outlet. Experts say these are what pregnancy dreams are all about. What sort of dreams do most women get? A picture of life with a baby. Crazy sex dreams. Frightening childbirth images. Holidays in Kashmir. Being an all-star parent. Being a terrible parent! Everything is fair game.
It took me a while to learn to handle Taimur when he was born. Like all new moms I was nervous and messed up all the time!
It’s very common for your sex drive and libido to be impacted during your pregnancy. Not just that, different women’s bodies respond to the need for sexual intimacy in differing ways, and that’s very normal too. My advice would be to be open about concerns around intimacy with your gynaecologist. Very often in my practice, I see that most women are not comfortable or they shy away from asking these questions about either an increase in libido or their fears about intimacy and low sex drive. In my experience, often women who have had a miscarriage tend to be fearful of having sex during their pregnancy. Each pregnancy is unique and so also is how the couple experience intimacy during that period.
I AM TOO SCARED TO HAVE SEX AND IT'S AFFECTING MY RELATIONSHIP, With Sonali Gupta, clinical psychologist
I did this shoot with Vogue in London, 4 months pregnant with Taimur. No one in the shoot knew I was expecting.
I was out and about all through my pregnancy. Two weeks after this evening out, I gave birth to Taimur!
When I was pregnant with Taimur, I was younger and more energetic. I felt fitter. I was out and about and – yes – I had my mojo! But I didn’t feel particularly sexy when I was pregnant with Jeh. I was quite a wreck for a good part of my first four months. I noticed a drastic shift in my libido. I read up about it, and it’s very common. And I was truly grateful for Saif’s support during this time. He was always so understanding. Not every woman feels good. Not every woman feels sexy. And to make love, you need to feel beautiful and feel loved. Any partner needs to understand how women feel with their changing hormones and with carrying a whole life inside them. When you’re pregnant, sex often does not feel that important. Even though things eased out for me from my fifth month, my second pregnancy was definitely tough.
I had a wonderful pregnancy with Taimur – maybe it was my age. I stayed up late, travelled, went to parties and felt great. This is one of my all-time favourite pregnancy outfits.
All photographs and captions are extracts from: Kareena Kapoor Khan’s Pregnancy Bible: The ultimate manual for moms-to-be, published by Juggernaut Books, August 2021.
Buy the book here.