2021 was difficult, challenging, and strange for most of us. We had hoped to get over the pandemic during the early part of 2021; it landed us a sucker punch. We barely started hoping to get over it, but now it seems it won’t be so. Uncertainty looms and reminds us, again, the futility of assumptions we make about our lives and future.
What the humanity is facing due to the pandemic could never have been predicted. It was not remotely considered to be within the realms of possibilities. It was a cruel but useful reminder that we are, after all, mere mortals, whose lives can be turned upside down in a matter of minutes.
I usually reflect on what each year that has gone by has taught me. It forms the basis of my New Year resolutions and a checklist of things I want to do differently. Most of us lead very frenetic lives. Hence, it is useful to pause. A phase of bewildering and enforced pause was thrust upon us during the pandemic. Due to multiple reasons, many of us were forced to reflect during this period. In a world where we are supposed to express our thoughts in 280 words or through some pictures on social media, periodic contemplation on the errors we have made, regrets which we do not want to carry forward and amendments we want to make, can only enhance our lives.
J. K. Ram
Strength of human resilience
Through my work, I have come to realise that when we seek “happiness”, we are actually seeking peace, tranquillity, and freedom from a tormented mind. The pandemic has forced upon us unexpected sorrow, which we were not prepared for. However, 2021 has taught me how most people have accepted their sadness, and many have grown emotionally richer due to it. This phenomenon is known as post-traumatic growth. Those who practice medicine in any form, have to learn to navigate sadness and grief.
In 2021, disease and death permeated virtually every household. But most were not vanquished or conquered by it. The strength of human resilience, the power of hope, even amidst terrible adversities has never been more pronounced to me than in 2021. The numerous heroes who soldiered on and battled with everything that life threw at them, were my biggest teachers of 2021. Sadness did not diminish them, rather they incorporated it in their lives and re-emerged stronger, albeit with scars. Attitude of all frontline workers were a lesson too.
Reflections cannot happen in a vacuum. It needs a canvas or a context upon which we can express our thoughts. A website on personal growth, which I follow, has a useful set of questions, which helps me to expand on my thoughts. Some of the questions I personally find useful to reflect upon are:
1. What was the most important lesson I learned this year?
2. What challenges did I overcome?
3. Did I learn any new skill?
4. What did I enjoy the most?
5. What was my favourite moment?
6. What new thing did I learn about myself?
7. How many times did I deviate from my core values and how can I prevent it in the coming year?
8. Did I do justice to my relationships?
9. What was the best decision I took?
10. How did I fail?
11. What got in the way of my success?
12. What would I do differently if I could?
13. How am I different than a year ago? Am I better or worse?
14. What changes did I make for my physical and mental health?
15. Who or what had the biggest impact on my life this year?
16. What did I let go of?
17. What were the most useful resources I had?
18. What am I thankful for this year?
These questions are merely aides for all of us to think a bit deeper about how our lives are flowing and how would we like to enhance it. It would be a good starting point to begin the new year.
However, contemplation to enhance the quality of our lives does not mean we should forget to have fun. It is essential to be in the moment and let ourselves surrender to the joys of the world. There is great value in banter, (and I hate to acknowledge it publicly, in gossip!) letting our hair down and not taking ourselves seriously all the time and reminding ourselves that life also needs to be lived. I am sure having fun enhances longevity.
The pandemic has shown us that we can be amazingly resilient. We have survived the greatest uncertainties and sadness and come out on the other side. I am sure it has left its marks, but we have survived and are hoping for a better, kinder and a more connected future for all of us. We have realised that for us to survive, others around us are important too. That has been the biggest lesson for me in 2021. I cannot be well alone, I need all of you for my well-being. So, let us all be well together in 2022.
Dr Jai Ranjan Ram is a senior consultant psychiatrist and co-founder of Mental Health Foundation (www.mhfkolkata.com). Find him on Facebook @Jai R Ram
It is essential to be in the moment and let ourselves surrender to the joys of the world. There is great value in banter, letting our hair down and not taking ourselves seriously all the time and reminding ourselves that life also needs to be lived. I am sure having fun enhances longevity.