Suyash Dasgupta’s debut novel – Chosen, sheds light on the complexities of teenage mental health from the perspective of the central character in the book. Substance abuse, questions of identity and trauma are themes that Dasgupta touches upon in this story narrated as poems. The original rap and hip-hop soundtracks bring alive the book for readers.
The following excerpt has been taken from the first section of the book, titled ‘Verse 1’.
I’ll start with my morning
workout:
It requires two people.
It starts with a wince,
From a pinch, on the limbs,
Then a hit
From my fists that are clinched,
He can try to run
But I’m Minkah Fitz with the blitz
If he somehow escapes, there’s still the border
Of all the bystanders.
These kids, sly, slander my current victim
Hoping that’ll protect them, from being next,
‘Cause there’ll always be a next
At this point, it’s a matter of
Inevitability
Like Ragnarok
and if even Thor eventually relents to
The sins he commits,
Then what brave face
Can live in the grin of a wimp?
Oh, and finish with a couple push-ups.
After my blood’s pumping,
I head to my first class
Something to do with numbers
All I know is that my brain’s never number
Than when I’m in that room, sitting with fools
Their nodding heads, like bobbleheads that move
Up and down at any question presented
There’s only one thing about that class I don’t mind
That’s Jordan, “J”,
Who prevents me from ever
Having a boring day
Jordan’s cool
Jordan’s smart
Jordan let me cheat of off him and not just
‘Cause I could beat all of him up
Jordan likes making music,
We spent most of class listening to his beats
Our teacher didn’t care because of how much he
loved Jordan
And how much he hated
Me.
I hate most of my classes,
I do, except one (English)
I still do bad in it, though,
To keep up perceptions
I’m the “bully”, I need to fully act the part
Sit at the back of class and barely get a passing
mark
Most of my teachers hate me for it, take me for
this drugged up teen, some drunk mean kid who
everyone stays away from.
For some reason though, my English teacher, Mrs.
Turner doesn’t seem to mind.
Mrs. Turner is Jordan’s mom, she’s pretty nice as
well. They’ve got some good genes in that family.
Like Levi’s, see my tree’s just full of rotten apples.
We’ll get to that in a sec,
We’ll get to Dad in a sec,
‘Cause after school the next part of my daily
routine is usually doing whatever I can to avoid
going home, locked, mad in a cell.
As much as I hate school,
I prefer it to home,
Well, I prefer it to my Dad
Most guys look up to their Dads,
I guess I do too, but only cause he’s six foot four,
I know if I was stranded in the blistering snow
And ask for his jacket (or arms), he’d just say
no
Then laugh at me, snicker that “the wimp is cold”
The next things I’d feel are his fists and road
He doesn’t like it when I’m in my room writing
He’d probably prefer it if he saw me at school
fighting
And kicking the other kids, with all these fools
smiling
Around me, sadly I’m cursed with my doom:
rhyming
He wants me to work out, push me to hypertrophy
Ideally, he’d like me to lift the Heisman trophy
Doesn’t see my dozen dreams to write these
rhyming stories
And even after 14 years, he isn’t enticed to know
me
I guess he stares in my eyes and sees the girl that
broke his heart
Sees his old life, the world that was torn apart
Maybe that’s why he covers me with scars, to get
rid of any resemblance
Maybe torturing me is just his way of vengeance
He thinks by taking away all that connects me to
her, he can finally get her to leave
Maybe that’s why he sighs and smiles, so widely,
when I bleed.
Chosen has been published by Academic Foundation. The book can be purchased here.