Can you give some suggestions on what condoms to use? There are so many types. When I go to the chemist shop the transaction is always so awkward that I have been using whatever the uncle gives me but I don’t even know what else is available. How do I know if I’m picking the right one for me?
—Curious Condom Shopper
Dear Curious Condom Shopper,
You are absolutely right that there are many condoms out there that you can choose from! Shopping for condoms can be an awkward ordeal, but hopefully when you know what to ask for it may be a bit easier.
Flavours go only in the mouth
Chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, bubblegum — condom flavours can give your tutti-fruity dessert some serious competition. If you’re into that, go for it for oral sex with a penis only. While oral sex cannot get you pregnant, using condoms during oral sex can be a great way to reduce the risk of STI transmission.
Vaginas don’t have taste buds, and what’s worse, some people’s vaginas don’t respond well to strong flavours and scents. Avoid internal use in the vagina or anus for condoms that are flavoured (this also goes for flavoured lubricant) because they can lead to yeast infections. There are many condom types available that do not have any added flavouring.
While many flavoured condom and lubricant brands claim to be vagina-friendly, I’d recommend that you tread with caution if you tend to have a sensitive environment down there. I have had people complain of burning, irritation and frequent infections after sex only because they never realised that their flavoured condoms were not suiting them.
Latex vs non-latex
Another cause for burning, irritation and rashes from condom-use is latex allergies. While these are not the most common, those who have them will have an unpleasant experience using latex during intercourse. Lucky for you, there are a few brands like Skyn that sell latex-free condoms in India. They may not be widely stocked in your corner chemist shop, but you will find them online easily.
Some people like exploring varied textures, while some people may find the added friction a bit irritating to their skin Shutterstock
Texture temptations
Once you’ve picked the flavour, the next thing you may wonder is what the heck is a ribbed condom? Well, it’s a little like it sounds — there are condoms that come with various textures (such as “dotted”, or “ribbed”) that help you feel a little bit more friction and perhaps increased pleasure for both the wearer and the receiver.
Dotted condoms have little bumps on them, ribbed condoms have little raised rings around them. There are some others that try to feel more like skin (e.g. Durex’s “real feel” condoms), which means that they are supposed to feel a bit more natural than the feeling of latex.
Some people like exploring varied textures, while some people may find the added friction a bit irritating to their skin. I’d suggest getting smaller packs if you are exploring them for the first time and try out a few to figure out what you like best.
For those who feel like condoms reduce their sensitivity or pleasure, there are also thinner varieties available — these are often called “extra thin”, “feather”, “air”, “invisible” etc. These are occasionally more expensive than the regular fare. I’ve been asked before, “are thin condoms as safe to use as thicker ones”? Rest assured that thinner ones have gone through similar rigorous material testing procedures as regular ones.
Size matters (a little)
Most people fit quite comfortably into the standard condom size. Typical “regular” condoms have 180mm in length and have about 56mm width (±2mm elasticity). Ideally the condom should have a snug fit when erect and not slide off easily. Anyone who has a penis of about seven inches in length and about two inches in diameter or less — when erect— is typically comfortable in a standard-sized condom. Condom brands may have slight variations in size (size is listed in super fine print at the back of a condom box), especially when they are of varying materials.
If you find that the condom is feeling super tight, and causing discomfort or pain, then you may need to consider buying an extra-large condom. Unfortunately, no Indian brands make these (to the best of my knowledge), so you may need to pay extra to get them via an import retailer like Amazon.
Similarly, if you feel a condom is much too large for you — to the point where it keeps slipping off during intercourse — you may be better off looking for a smaller size or using a “female” or internal condom.
‘Female’ or internal condoms
A lesser-known cousin of the typical penis-oriented condom is the “female” or “internal” condom. Peesafe and Velvet are two brands that sell these in India and can be ordered online. These are condoms which can be inserted into the vaginal canal or the anus during intercourse. Some people with vaginas feel these types of condoms give them a bit more agency over condom-usage.
Internal condoms are much larger than a typical penis-condom, and in general, function in a way that is size-agnostic. So they work both for penises that are too small or too large.
The other advantage is that these condoms last longer during a session. While you typically have to take off and use a new a penis condom if the penis has moments where it goes soft, you can continue to use an internal condom without having to worry about keeping the penis hard enough to keep the condom on. Note: do NOT use both an external (i.e. penis) and internal (i.e. “female”) condom together. Check out the video below to learn how to put these on!
Lasting longer
Some condoms are designed to make you “last longer” in bed. These tend to be thicker to reduce sensation to the penis. They often also have substances that function as a local anaesthetic to reduce sensation and that can affect both the person with the penis and the receiver. There are pros and cons to this, as well as other ways to last longer in bed.
The slippery stuff
People ask me what the slimy stuff in a condom packet is. It is nothing but lubricant. Some condoms come pre-lubricated and some come unlubricated. I would suggest adding an appropriate lubricant regardless of what kind of condom you buy.
While there are many types of condoms out there, the “perfect” condom is very much an individual choice. With some trial and error, I hope you find your perfect match. With some advance planning, you will be able to buy most of these at your local chemist shop, online, or if you’re in a pinch, then on online delivery apps like Instamart, Blinkit, Big Basket, etc. Happy shopping!
Karishma Swarup is a Kolkata-born and raised sexuality educator, Instagrammer (@talkyounevergot) and works at a global consulting firm. She busts myths about sex, pleasure, intimacy, orgasms, periods, and all things related to sexual health.
If you have a question you would like Karishma to answer, send an email on mykolkata@telegraphindia.com with the subject line ‘Questions for Karishma’ or DM/comment on our Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.
