Think you have bakers all figured out? Think again. As you tuck into something fresh out of the oven, enjoy a side of bakers’ psyche with it. Here are some pretty fun facts about bakery owners:
I am my own boss
Yes, I’m allowed to say that when my mom is not around! But seriously, I can have my cake and eat it too (literally).
Being an accidental social media star
My millennial side condemns it, but, no, you can’t avoid it, iss Basanti ko nachna hi hoga!
Baker brain syndrome is a thing
A baker will forget to eat a meal on time but will remember — till eternity — their client’s aversion to nuts.
Stay home, stay rich
Well let’s be honest, who would want to leave their house when it smells like vanilla and cinnamon all the time?
Money manager, who?
The Math ain’t mathin when it comes to our money. You would be a millionaire after that amazing bake sale but god forbid you see a cast iron Dutch oven that you HAVE to have! Bank balance = nil.
Cafe hopping? We call it market survey
Even on date night, your eyes will search for the next best ‘baked goods’. Before you know it you will end up thinking, ‘yeh toh mei ghar pe isse better bana lungi’ (I can make a better version of this at home) — yes, I am slowly turning into my mother…
God’s child
To be a baker is to develop an insane amount of faith in God. When life presents you with 10 minutes to pick-up, 20 cupcakes to ice and only a small amount of icing left — only god can save you!
Low maintenance
I have two words for you — cake scraps! A fully iced cake no longer appeals to me, I find true happiness in cake scraps covered in leftover icing. If that is not low maintenance, what is?
Becoming a ‘surajmukhi’
Like a sunflower, my special skills include finding the perfect sunny spot for a product shoot. What even is the point if your phone memory isn’t full of cake videos at all times?
Eureka moments follow no rules
Inspiration will strike you anywhere and everywhere, be it in your dreams or in the shower. My suggestion? Invest in a good waterproof phone — I speak out of experience.
Anger management expert — the best in the yeast
Forget those mad expensive ways for anger management, just make bread once in your lifetime. Trust me, that bread punch is all you’ll need to get the boil to a simmer.
Easily impressed
It is not too difficult to impress a baker, all we want is for someone to say, “Ei Sunny, burger khabi?” #IYKYK
So your honour, I rest my case. More days should be declared in honour of bakers for we are single-handedly holding down the most important cake fort there is!
Former journalist and full-time baker, Simran Kapur runs an artisanal bakery, Cookey Monkey, in Kolkata. Simran is also known for her culinary adventures as the title holder of the IIHM Young Chef India competition, 2013, and more recently for her presentation to MasterChef Australia Judge, Chef Gary Mehigan. When not in the kitchen, you will find Simran in her influencer era on her bakery’s Instagram page!
