When the whole of Kolkata is tuned into the FIFA World Cup final (including the restaurant staff, who inform you that you won’t get your Swiggy order till the match is over and then cancel the order because the match goes into penalties) to watch Argentina win or lose (no one cares about France), it is but expected that the JioCinema app you are relying on will falter under traffic.
After getting stuck two times too many, the effective solution was to shift from the English commentary option that had more traffic to one that would have less people logging in. So we changed to the Bengali commentary channel for the most part of the match and our lives were transformed.
Not having grown up listening to Bengali commentary on television or radio, nothing could have prepared us for the entertainment gold we discovered. If what happened on screen wasn’t making us jump up from the seat we were busy rolling on the floor, laughing, thanks to the commentary.
Here are some of the gems that will forever be written in our minds as Messi finally lifted the World Cup (each is to be read in a high-pitched, overexcited voice):
- “Makhoner modhye diye chhurir moto pass (A pass that cuts like knife through butter)”, described a pass from Messi down the centre
- Messi jokhon haaten tokhon uni beshi danger (Messi is more dangerous when he is walking)
Dekhun Romero box-e kirom birokto korchhe (See how Romero is pestering players in the box) came when Argentina were defending a corner
Jekhane ball sekhane De Paul (De Paul is everywhere the ball is), was probably our favourite
Argentinian jhor boye jachhe mathe (There is an Argentinian storm blowing on the field) described the incredible performance of Argentina in the first half
Ohhhh Hernandez aar Messi-r shorashori collision, Messi-o chhitke porlen (Oh a straight collision, Messi also falls the ground)
Ahaha ki chhut dilen Mbappe… Kiiiiiiing Mbappe (Oh what a wonderful run by Mbappe)! When Mbappe scored that magnificent goal
We shifted to the English commentary soon after because no one was in the mood to laugh anymore, but with regret that we hadn’t discovered Bengali commentary sooner for a more enjoyable campaign. We are definitely correcting that mistake in four years’ time.
