The Anant Ambani-Radhika Merchant wedding is almost like the Kardashians — you can like or dislike their presence but you cannot ignore them. With an estimated ₹5,000 crore spent on what is being billed as the ‘wedding of the century’, the spectacle left the country — and beyond — mesmerised. The epitome of the ‘big fat Indian wedding’, the celebrations held over seven months in multiple exotic locales, in India, Italy and France, culminated in the nuptials in Mumbai on July 12. While on the one hand we scrolled through innumerable pictures, Reels and paparazzi videos on our Instagram feeds and gaped in awe, on the other hand, the biggest wedding in modern Indian history sparked many a socio-economic debate and discussion throughout the country.
The wedding, with its series of pre-wedding festivities — which saw performances by Rihanna and Justin Beiber, among others — and never-before-seen grandeur, is kind of a cultural milestone for a country where weddings have traditionally been a showcase of a family’s wealth. One, however, wonders whether the sheer show of opulence and extravagance is a true reflection of society today — is this how India’s Gen Z wants to get married?
THE BUSINESS OF WEDDING
Over-the-top weddings are not new to India, and according to WedMeGood, the Indian wedding industry is the fourth largest industry in the country and has a record spending of $130 billion (Rs 10,87,384 crore) annually. However, with changing mindsets resulting from various socio-economic factors, the ‘big fat Indian wedding’ is slowly becoming a thing of the past for certain sections of society.
A pretty real representation of modern-day weddings, accompanied by their own share of complications, including societal and financial aspects, is the Prime Video series Made In Heaven. With weddings across ages, classes, genders and religions being showcased throughout the show, the business of weddings in India gets spotlighted. From small intimate affairs to grand and opulent events, the show takes the audiences through the extremes that make up the wedding industry.
From the reel to the real, what is it that Gen Z wants when planning a wedding? Ritwik Mitra, founder of Calcutta-based ORIZO Events that is in the business of wedding planning, says there is a difference between when the couple who is getting married approaches them and when parents of the couple approach them. While parents want grandeur, young people want minimalism and elegance. He adds that a regular wedding in Calcutta, including the venue, decor, food and hospitality, easily begins with a budget of Rs 5-6 lakh for the modern-day middle class. Mitra says: “People still want to have a celebration on their wedding day but their outlooks have evolved. They want classy elements in a limited budget. People no more want cluttered or maximalist decor. Sustainability is another trend people are opting for and we also prioritise it.
“In fact, the usage of artificial flowers has risen massively in the last few years. Weddings are personal and priorities differ but what remains constant is that people want to cherish that one day for a lifetime.”
Bengaluru-based BJ Prashanth, Pavithra and Vishak Ramnarayan, who are the founders of Visual Reality Events and Production, said: “An average wedding in the South would have a guest list of 1,000 to 1,500 people. Around the pandemic we saw a lot of weddings with 300 or 350 guests, but after that the industry regained momentum. We think there is too much pressure put on the couple by social media to have a fancy wedding. Like sangeet and mehndi were never prominent rituals in South India, but now with social media and celebrity weddings, almost every couple chooses these events.”
WHAT DOES GEN Z WANT?
Recent years have shown us how weddings have gradually drifted towards being minimalist or private affairs. Those getting married during or immediately after the Covid-19 pandemic were forced to do so in small, intimate gatherings. But the appeal of getting married in the company of just your family and friends seems to have caught the fancy of Gen Z. A big fat Indian wedding is the ask of previous generations, where weddings would have to be traditionally celebrated. For the youth of today, however, a wedding album filled with barely-known people is not their idea of how they want to remember their big day. They want one of the most important days of their lives to feel like the once-in-a-lifetime experience that it is.
Some celebrities who are constantly surrounded by people sometimes understandably choose private wedding ceremonies. However, the trend is not restricted to celebrities alone. Regular people too have begun to see an exaggerated affair being made out of weddings as an avoidable expenditure. The most common sentiment is, “We’d rather spend it on a lavish honeymoon!”
Engineer and food blogger Camelia Roy got married in 2021 to the love of her life. While the couple now travels to and fro between Dubai and Calcutta, they tied the knot in the City of Joy. Their wedding is the perfect example of a pandemic wedding where the number of guests did not cross 100. Camelia said: “I believe that you are going to get married only once. So, you should live all your dreams. I was getting married to the person I had been in love with for over a decade. I wanted to look gorgeous and unique. So, I booked a celebrity makeup artist and my friends and family had lots of fun. While we kept things private, we were not minimal in a way where it’s just the couple and four witnesses. We had our own elements and lived the little dreams that we had always had throughout our dating period. Honestly, I am really happy at how the wedding took place. Be it because of the pandemic or not, the privacy felt good and, yes, we did not spend too much on the wedding to save up for travelling. We love travelling and we have celebrated every wedding anniversary on international trips. Spending money on celebrating wedding anniversaries with others does not appeal to us.”
Parental pressure, however, is still a stumbling block on the path to intimate weddings. Harshita, 24, a teacher, got married two weeks back to her partner of six years in a lavish way. She says, “I wanted a very intimate affair where we would spend time with each other. It is our day. However, for both our families our wedding was the only occasion that they could celebrate on a big scale. So, we went with the typical big Indian wedding. I just always wanted to keep it private with my near and dear ones and honeymoon in Thailand. It was never about spending money but actually enjoying the moments. Weddings are a personal choice, whether you want to make it noticeable or keep it private is completely up to the bride and groom. But in an Indian setting, we have to take care of multiple other factors, like family and society.”
Olivia Roy, 24, who works as an assistant editor in a publishing company, said: “Since I was little, I always wanted my wedding day to be memorable. I have been making plans for a really long time. But I always knew that I wanted to keep things private, if not minimal. The final decisions would obviously be taken mutually when I do find my husband. For me, I want to be specific about the food, decor, our appearances but the guest list probably would not cross 50. My parents have always been supportive of my wishes so I don’t think that would be a problem. The couple’s happiness is utmost, everything else is secondary. I don’t believe in giving into the conventional pressure of throwing big parties and inviting thousands of people. I could spend a crore on booking lavish hotel rooms for people who are closer to my parents than me, but I would rather spend that money on buying a house together or on the honeymoon.”
In our conversation with Harshit Chadha, 25, who runs an automobile business, we saw that minimalist weddings are the ask of the hour, irrespective of gender. However, family plays a key role in deciding the scale of the weddings. Harshit said: “Social media and society at large is tricky. It glorifies minimalist weddings but nitpicks through them as well. Weddings should not be decided on the basis of pressure but a lot of us fall weak in front of all our peers going out and loud about their weddings. If it would be completely my choice, I would rather get married in an intimate Anand Kharaj ceremony in a Gurdwara with my immediate family and friends. We would have a reception later where things would be unavoidably big but the wedding would primarily be intimate. Coming from a Punjabi family, this is a lot to ask for because they always want to go big! Personally, I would rather spend my honeymoon luxuriously in a beautiful location than having an extravagant wedding function for people who we barely meet throughout the year.”
Ankush Paul, 29, a finance entrepreneur, said: “At my age, the pressure of getting married is very high, especially when you are the eldest child in the family and you are about to touch 30.
“I have always loved celebrations. Be it a birthday, anniversary, baby shower or first job, celebrations have always been a priority. Naturally, I also want my wedding to be a celebration of love. While I want to keep the wedding private, I would have to conduct two inevitable receptions. One in my hometown Jamshedpur and another in Bengaluru where I live for work. Being a person with an analytical background, two receptions do not make sense but there is societal pressure. I honestly do not know how the Ambanis would do a wedding on this scale if they did not have this seemingly endless source of wealth because it is not plausible. Real Indian weddings focus on saving money while having everything that you ever wished for on the big day. Apart from a private ceremony, if it would be my individual decision, I would like to go to Europe with my partner. Spending vivaciously on one night or probably a week does not sound sensible.”
STARS SHOW THE WAY
From Anushka Sharma and Virat Kohli’s 2017 Tuscany wedding to Deepika Padukone and Ranveer Singh’s secretive wedding in 2018 in Italy’s picturesque Lake Como, the new age of Bollywood has often chosen private wedding ceremonies. We remember gushing over Dia Mirza and Vaibhav Rekhi’s close-knit ceremony that took place in the garden of the actor’s Bandra residence. When Alia Bhatt and Ranbir Kapoor got married in the balcony of their Bandra house, it definitely made a loud and clear statement, one that gave the trend of intimate weddings a stamp of approval from two of the biggest stars and pop culture icons of the country.
Even Farhan Akhtar and Shibani Dandekar tied the knot in Javed Akhtar’s Khandala farmhouse. Katrina Kaif and Vicky Kaushal, Varun Dhawan and Natasha Dalal, Neha Dhupia and Angad Bedi, Yami Gautam and Aditya Dhar, and Kriti Kharbanda and Pulkit Samrat, all these celebrated couples tied the knot in intimate settings. With celebrity weddings becoming private with a ‘strictly no-mobile phones’ rule, the mindset trickles down to the rest of the population.
The Gen Z of the Bengali film industry, too, is leaning towards small weddings. Actor Ishaa Saha said: “I have not really thought about my wedding, so I do not know how many guests would be there or how I would want it to happen. I know one thing, that I want it to be as private as possible. If given a choice, I would rather just do a court marriage, sign twice and be married! I would not want a makeup artist coming in on that day. Considering I have gotten married multiple times on screen, I don’t think I want my real-life wedding to be extravagant.”
In a recent instance, Tollywood actor Sohini Sarkar got married on July 15 to singer Shovan Ganguly on the day they completed a year of their courtship. A close ceremony with friends and family was arranged and the videos that did the rounds of social media showed the couple enjoying the rituals, singing and basking in each other’s company.
Actors Darshana Banik and Saurav Das, who got married earlier this year, believe that wedding is a one-time thing and that it is a personal choice whether you want to go big or keep it minimal. “What we loved about Sohini’s wedding is that it had a limited number of guests so the couple could personally attend to every guest and, at times, also serve them. While we thoroughly enjoyed our wedding and got married in a dreamy manner, the personal touch was missing. We could not personally take care of people and some of them could not even come over to the stage because of time constraints. We had taken care of the fact that our guests could come meet us, but when you arrange a wedding of that scale, not everything goes as planned,” said the couple who is friends with Sohini and were at her wedding.
Actor Suhotra Mukhopadhyay said: “I am still trying to figure out what marriage is and there are no plans to tie the knot in the next five years. When I do get married, it will surely be a private affair but it will obviously be a mutual decision between the bride and myself. Personally, I would want to have a destination wedding somewhere in the mountains in the presence of close family and friends.” He wants his guests to cherish the sweet memories from his wedding and says, “The memories are important, not the way they are being made.”
Former beauty queen and city model Ushoshi Sengupta shared her wedding plans with us. “If and whenever I get married it will be very private. I want to remember little details about the big night. For instance, I would want to remember what my mom was doing on my wedding night and not get lost in the crowd. What people seek from weddings is a very personal choice. If they want to call a thousand people, that is also valid. For me, I want to share the day with those who truly matter to me,” she said.
