Love is not a new phenomenon. People all over the world have been falling in love for centuries. Some are star-crossed, and their romance ends in disaster. Others live happily ever after. But people are curious — they still need to answer the question of why do people fall and stay in love? Is it really an inexplicable phenomenon?

Scientifically, attraction to the opposite sex occurs because something about that person triggers an early memory in the brain. The hypothalamus responds. Hormones are released: testosterone, estrogen
and later the pleasure hormones called oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin. These hormones take over after the initial surge from testosterone and estrogen. The brain continues to aid their release.

The mistake people (songwriters and filmmakers) make is to think that the heart goes “dhadak dhadak” and love results. No. This is far from the truth. Love arises from the brain. It then removes inhibitions, and the rest of your body responds.

The eventual result of love is a desire for procreation, which perpetuates the human race. So, people subconsciously tend to be attracted to others in whom they perceive good genetic material as this increases their chances of having healthy children. Evolutionary psychology suggests that humans may be drawn to certain physical characteristics or traits that are seen as indicative of good genetic compatibility.

Smell or body odour is a mix of sweat, bacteria, diseases, diet and medications. It is also partly genetic. Body odour, if similar to others in our social and family setting, causes immediate attraction. Many experiments have been done to prove this. Blindfolded subjects unerringly picked out the sweaty clothes of their first-degree relatives.

In childhood, children are exposed to smells. The sweat, alcohol, cigarette smoke, after-shave perfume and spices used by parents for cooking leave indelible memories. As teenagers or young adults, there is an instinctive immediate attraction to a person of the opposite sex with a similar odour.

In short, if you are an alcoholic or smoker or both, stop before you have a baby. They will get attracted to a similar person, and you may not want an alcoholic, smoking son or daughter-in-law.

Close proximity can override these factors, and that is why romances in offices and the workplace or between teachers and students occur. These may have the initial surge of overwhelming attraction. Unless the social and other factors are compatible, the initial crush or love stage may not proceed to attachment, and the relationship is ill-fated and may not be long-lasting.

Social and cultural norms condition some people. Even if there is an initial surge of hormones, if the partner does not fit the expectations set by their family and society, they may be mentally strong enough to resist the pull of hormones. The attraction is not long-lasting.

Human beings are social creatures. They need comfort, security and companionship. They often cannot bear loneliness. This may override the other factors involved, causing release of hormones and love.

Society is often unkind to lovers, especially if they do not fit into the religious, country and state norms. In that case, the families can react with dangerous violence or emotional blackmail. To hold against such threats, both parties must be financially and emotionally independent and courageous. Only then can they let love rule their lives.

Is it possible to force love?

If you manage to look deeply into someone’s eyes for four minutes, non-stop, all the correct hormones will be released. There are 36 questions on the Internet which, if you ask each other, the chances of falling in love are very great. But the flipside is if two people really want to do this experiment, they must be attracted to each other already, ensuring success.

The writer has a family practice at Vellore and is the author of Staying Healthy in Modern India. If you have any questions on health issues please write to yourhealthgm@yahoo.co.in