Sunday, 22 December 2024
Sunday, 22 December 2024
We start this week’s Great Indian Bizarre with a disclaimer. The biggest such news, about the deep-fried mystery of who ate the Himachal chief minister’s samosa, has already been covered separately. See that story here
Bengaluru couple busted for ‘high quality herb’ garden
You legalise it/I will advertise it, the reggae legend Peter Tosh had sung, but a Bengaluru couple forgot the first part of the line and advertised it, ending up behind bars.
In a city where innovation meets high-end technology, the couple took their home decor to a higher level by adding some DIY herbal aesthetic to their balcony in MSR Nagar. The wife proudly showcased her lush green corner on social media, giving her followers a peek at their patch of green nirvana.
Alas, fame – even of the social media sort – has a price. Her loyal online fans turned out to be buzzkills, reporting to the police the ganja plants the couple had so lovingly grown along with exotic plants.
And in what must have seemed to an observer as a scene from a Guy Ritchie film, when the cops showed up the couple scrambled to clean up the house and managed to toss the weed plants into the dustbin. But the sharp-eyed Bengaluru cops found a few telltale leaves clinging to the planters, just enough to bring the curtain down on our couple’s cannabis-growing adventure.
Later, the couple reportedly admitted to growing the plants with the intention of selling them. A grand total of 54 g of ganja was seized.
There are so many morals in the story that we won’t even try to enumerate.
‘Trump may be American but his spirit belongs here’
News of Donald Trump’s second term ignited celebrations in Varanasi in the north and Telangana in the south as his supporters pulled out all the stops, blending the fervour of Diwali with Bollywood-blockbuster theatrics.
Varanasi, the holy city famous for its ghats and chants, turned into an unexpected hub of Trump fandom. Volunteers from a local non-profit lit sparklers and praised Trump’s “bond” with Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, with firecrackers lighting up the evening sky.
“He's one of us," one enthusiastic resident declared, noting the uncanny resemblance between the two leaders’ handshakes and hugs. A fan even attempted to play patriotic tunes on a gong — a sight usually reserved for temple festivals, not foreign elections.
But perhaps the highlight of Trump mania was in Jangaon, Telangana, where a group of villagers gathered around a life-sized statue of Trump. This statue had been erected by the late Bussa Krishna, who had made headlines for “worshipping” Trump as his personal deity.
Krishna passed away in 2020. His legacy of Trump worship lives on. On Wednesday night, villagers lovingly draped the statue in flowers and shouted slogans like “Jai Trump.”
As the day wore on, gongs and firecrackers melded with cries of “Make America Great Again” in accents of Hindi, Telugu, and Tamil.
One fan was quoted as saying: “Trump may be American, but his spirit belongs here.”
Jodhpur hospital staff does ECG with YouTube tutorial
All you need these days is a smartphone, a strong wi-fi signal, and the confidence to say, “I’ve got this.”
In a world where YouTube tutorials have you covered for everything from folding fitted sheets to rewiring a home, why wouldn’t it be the go-to for a quick crash in cardiology? This was exactly the logic of a lab attendant at a Jodhpur hospital who, during the Diwali staffing crunch, took a shot at performing an ECG on a patient after a handy YouTube binge.
So, here’s what happened: A patient walks in, needing an ECG. But with many of the actual medical staff off lighting diyas, the lab attendant found himself in a pickle. Faced with no technicians on call, he decides to go full DIY. Armed with newfound knowledge and a YouTube video titled something like 'ECG 101: It’s Just Wires, Right?' he sets out on his quest.
A family member tries to step in, seeing Mr. ‘Attendant-Turned-YouTube-Graduate’ fumbling with electrodes like he was untangling his headphones. “Sir, conducting the scan without proper knowledge could endanger his life!” he is warned. But with the steadfast poise of someone who has just spent 10 minutes watching tutorial ads, he replies, “Everything is set up; the machine will work.”
The clip quickly blew up on social media, with people cracking jokes and some questioning the hospital’s 'innovative staffing' solutions. “Maybe he’s not a tech; sometimes there’s a shortage, and someone has to jump in,” a sympathetic commenter said. Another chimed in, “Doing an ECG isn’t the hard part—it’s reading it!” And then there was a disheartened certified ECG technician who commented, “Irony: Certified technicians like us are out of the system.”
The principal of the hospital’s medical college was less than amused and has launched an investigation to get to the “heart” of the situation. He may not have anticipated a need for the “Don’t Learn Cardiovascular Procedures on YouTube” clause, but here we are.
Devotees sip AC drip as holy water in Uttar Pradesh
If faith can move mountains, surely it can turn the water dripping from an AC unit into holy “charanamrit”?
Devotees at Vrindavan’s Banke Bihari Mandir were seen last week in a social media video queuing up to collect water dripping from an outlet in the wall.
As the video of the devotees collecting the AC water in cups, drinking it, and touching the cups to their foreheads spread like wildfire, the temple authorities issued a clarification that it was indeed AC water and not any holy offering.
Apparently, the AC’s pipes were artfully disguised as elephants, leading to divine misinterpretations.
Train passenger knits own seat, wins Indian jugaad award
A crowded train and there are no vacant seats. But where there is a will, there is a way. So with no time to waste, a passenger weaves a hammock for himself between two occupied upper berths with a rope.
And even though the men on the berths observe the act uncomfortably, the bedmaker seems to be in a hurry to mount on his creation and join the strangers above.
After someone who had filmed the incident posted the video on X, the comment section was expectedly flooded with sarcastic responses. While one user suggested he be given an “award,” one asked for a “job in railway”.
Say what you may, but like Spider-Man’s web, his hammock remained stretched and resilient for a nap of relief.
Meerut hitman seeks ₹19 lakh balance for ‘job well done’
In Meerut, Uttar Pradesh, what began as a chilling murder case in June last year has transformed into a comedy of unpaid dues.
The story starts on June 7, 2023, when a woman lawyer from TP Nagar was gunned down in daylight while returning home from a nearby dairy. The initial investigation pointed to her estranged husband and in-laws, who were embroiled in a bitter property dispute with her over a house she was reluctant to vacate. Despite this, the police released them after initial questioning, and the case went cold.
The lawyer was living in her ex-husband’s house, but the property had long been sold to two men, who understandably wanted possession. When the lawyer refused to budge, a hitman and two other 'professionals' were hired to handle the eviction — permanently.
Five people were eventually nabbed by the cops for the murder.
Fast forward a year, and the plot takes a U-turn when one of the men behind the hit gets bail. He promptly tells the police that he was promised Rs 20 lakh and had been given Rs 1 lakh advance only. And that it was the lawyer’s ex-hubby and in-laws who had planned the hit.
He could not take the remaining ₹19 lakh due to his arrest.
So how does a contract killer handle 'pending dues'? Apparently, by filing a police complaint.
In Bengal, elephant goes bananas for Kurkure
Picture this: It’s a quiet evening in Jhargram. The local grocery owner thinks his snack stash is safe. But little does he know, a wild elephant is on the loose.
With the swagger of Gordon Ramsay yelling “where’s the flavour?” and a trunk ready for action, the elephant walks towards the shop.
It finds stacks of Kurkure just waiting for a taste test and starts munching on them. Witnesses can only watch in awe as it demolishes more than 10 packs in record time, ignoring the spices and salt that would make a lesser mammal choke.
After its snack, the elephant heads back to the Kurkure-less jungle.
As for the shopkeeper, he looks a little grey.
Elephants in Bengal and Jharkhand are known to raid country liquor shops when they come into villages. But Kurkure? That’s a new one!
One-liner leave message has lengthy responses
Buttering your boss with lengthy explanations while applying for leave? That’s so last century.
An investor shared on X – Twitter before Elon Musk takeover – the screenshot of a nonchalant email from his junior colleague, a GenZ employee.
It was off the charts on the brevity score: "Hi Siddharth, I will be on leave on 8th November 2024. Bye."
Like on anything else, the reactions ranged from surprise to censure.
“If I had sent this message to my manager, he would have scheduled a meeting with HR to discuss my behaviour issues,” one said. Another said: "I don’t get it why this generation hypes the indisciplined work culture and then they cry that they aren’t getting opportunities to grow.”
Statutory warning: Trying such one-liners with your boss can be dangerous to employment status.
