Tuesday, 31 December 2024
Tuesday, 31 December 2024
Sunny Leone ‘joins’ Chhattisgarh welfare scheme
A 37-year-old man from Chhattisgarh pulled off an audacious fraud by enrolling the actress Sunny Leone in the Mahtari Vandan Yojana, the state’s welfare scheme meant to support financially struggling women.
Our man, armed with his Aadhaar card, some creative thinking, and possibly a Dhoom soundtrack playing in his head, submitted an application under the starlet’s name through his neighbour, an anganwadi worker. Perhaps inspired by our man’s confidence, or blinded by neighbourly trust, the anganwadi worker rubber-stamped the application. As a result, Rs 9,000 in monthly installments from March to December flowed into our man’s bank account.
Authorities launched an investigation and discovered that our man, in his infinite wisdom, had provided his own Aadhaar number and bank account details, making him almost too easy to trace.
The fallout was swift. The anganwafi worker was fired for negligence, her supervisor and project officer were suspended, and a show-cause notice was issued to senior officials. Meanwhile, our man has been booked for cheating. Authorities are now working to recover the stolen Rs 9,000.
As for Sunny Leone, she probably remains blissfully unaware of her brief stint as a welfare recipient in Chhattisgarh.
Bihar male teacher gets maternity leave
A male government school teacher in Bihar got maternity leave on the state’s online portal, it was reported this week, adding to the list of “only in” jokes.
The e-portal reportedly showed the teacher as ‘pregnant’ and on a week’s leave.
His celebrations, however, did not last long. The news of a male colleague getting maternity leave, understandably, did not go down too well with his co-workers, who were quick to put the absurdity out on social media.
The block education officer reportedly admitted to the department’s mistake and attributed it to a glitch in the portal.
iPhone becomes god’s property
An iPhone found itself at the heart of a divine tug-of-war at a temple in Thiruporur, Tamil Nadu, this week.
Our man from Vinayagapuram, armed with devotion and a smartphone, arrived at the temple with his family to make a small offering. But as he reached into his pocket for a few coins, his slippery fingers decided to offer something much more valuable — his iPhone — straight into the sacred hundi.
Our man, heartbroken and helpless, stared at the hundi like a child who dropped their ice cream cone into the gutter. He rushed to the temple authorities, pleading for his precious device. But the temple staff, armed with centuries of tradition and a no-returns policy, stood firm. Once it’s in the hundi, it belongs to god, they reportedly declared.
They even added a twist: the hundi is opened every two months. Our man was told to wait—and pray.
Meanwhile, our man approached the government department asking for an update on when the hundi would be opened.
When the big day arrived, our man rushed to the temple, clinging to the hope of seeing his beloved phone again. The hundi was opened, revealing an assortment of coins, crumpled notes, and… the shiny iPhone. The temple authorities offered him only the option to retrieve the SIM card and download any important data. The phone, however? “That’s god’s property now,” the temple declared with divine authority.
P.K. Sekar Babu, the minister of the Hindu Religious and Charitable Endowments Department, explained the temple's position: "Anything deposited into the offering box, even if done unintentionally, becomes part of God's account," he stated. "As per the practices and tradition, all offerings made in the hundi belong to the deity and cannot be returned to the devotees."
The deity, it seems, was now the proud owner of an iPhone. The temple, perhaps, was one Face ID away from setting up a divine WhatsApp group.
Naturally, social media erupted.
“I’ll drop my EMI notices in the hundi and let the temple deal with the bank,” joked one user.
Vande Bharat to Goa loses way, reverses
The Goa-bound friends gang (that finally made it out of the Whatsapp group) had to wait a bit longer before hitting the beach owing to a 90-minute delay by a Vande Bharat Express that got a bit lost this week.
Depart, take the wrong route, realise the mistake, and reverse – a signal malfunction at Diva junction coerced the Mumbai-Goa (Madgaon) Vande Bharat Express into an atypical manoeuvre.
The train that runs six days a week, had departed from Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Terminus at 5:25 am scheduled to reach Margao by 1:10 pm. However, a technical glitch diverted it towards Kalyan instead of Panvel.
By the time railway officials realised their mistake, the train had already travelled 11 km in the wrong direction. Then it was stopped at Kalyan and made to reverse another 11 km (thanks to driving units on both fronts).
To worsen the 22km detour, the train made a halt for 35 minutes at Diva station before being rerouted to Panvel, the right way forward.
This ‘comedy of errors’ did not only add to the woes of the Christmas revellers onboard but to the other train services in Mumbai as well.
Fireworks and DJ after bail? Bad idea
It seems the father-son duo of Rizwan and Adnan Ansari from Uttar Pradesh’s Bulandhshahr don’t believe in low-key exits or returns.
Rizwan, an alleged arms smuggler fresh out of jail on December 26, didn’t just come home; he made an entrance with fireworks, a DJ spinning the latest heartland chartbusters, and celebratory gunfire.
Unfortunately for him, the show wasn’t just witnessed by neighbours but also by the police, who couldn’t ignore the loud party.
When the cops arrived, they did not just bust the party, but also recovered an arms cache with enough ammunition to reenact a Bollywood fighting scene. They quickly registered a fresh case before arresting the duo – Rizwan has six cases and his son, Adnan, has two – again.
They will perhaps plan a quieter re-entry next time.
Flight turns into flying train, complete with chai
In the early 20th century, tea board employees would go out to Indian towns and villages and popularise tea as a drink that could cure everything from tiredness to headaches. Their spirits must be smiling at a job well done. Because chai has become more Indian than any drink, and is attaining new heights.
On an IndiGo flight cruising at 36,000 feet this week, two “reel-wallahs” decided to turn the aisle into their personal pantry, serving homemade tea to fellow travellers like it was an express train ride. Forget turbulence; this was tea-bulence.
In rapidly shared video clips, one man can be seen pouring tea from a bottle with the finesse of a railway chaiwala, while his partner in crime hands out disposable cups to unsuspecting (and slightly bemused) passengers. The clips, which have racked up hundreds of thousands of views, have left the internet in splits—or, in some cases, fuming.
One commenter wondered, “How did they get the tea through security? Security won’t let me carry 200 ml of water, and this guy smuggled in a litre of chai!” Another wise person joked, “Only Indians can pull this off anywhere, anytime. Next stop: chai in space?”
Of course, not everyone was on board with this mile-high tea party. One user huffed, “What happened to rules and regulations? This is unacceptable!” Meanwhile, another countered, “What’s the harm? Homemade chai is always better than overpriced airplane snacks!”
