Sunday, 22 December 2024
Sunday, 22 December 2024
Calcutta man’s Diwali-pollution cracker: ‘What about Palestine?’
A man in a Calcutta suburb confronted by a cop for bursting illegal loud firecrackers shot back with a reply that proved once again that Bengal is the land of revolutionaries (with an uncanny attraction for armchairs, critics say).
Reportedly the man was on a roll with his big-bang celebrations in Bidhannagar aka Salt Lake when he was asked by a policeman: “Don’t you know loud crackers are banned? Why are you bursting so many of them?”
We can’t confirm whether pat came the reply, but the man deserves a pat for the unbeatable logic he put forth.
“Palestine ey toh Israel boma fatachhe; sheykhane dushon hochchhe na [Israel is bombing Palestine. Isn’t there pollution happening there]?”
If the man’s reasoning was fire, the policeman’s answer was the bomb.
“I’m not responsible for Palestine, I’m responsible here,” our cop deadpanned (disclaimer: not possible to confirm whether our policeman did put some emotion into his voice but too good an opportunity to pass up).
This moment of international awareness unfolded just before Kali Puja, with Bidhannagar erupting in a premature firecracking party, completely ignoring the two-hour limit.
Some optimists said this year was quieter than the last, but then again, who needs silence when you’ve got “sound” reasoning from neighbourhood revolutionaries?
In Delhi, order biryani, get gyan free
A Delhi resident apparently ordered biryani and got a side dish of gyan about religion. And the one who delivered the sermon was the delivery guy.
Our protagonist, who shared his experience on Reddit, said that his delivery agent didn’t leave after delivering the packet of biryani he had ordered. “Ye bahot galat kar rahe ho aap, theek nahi hai yeh [what you are doing is wrong].” the delivery guy apparently told him.
Confused and caught mid-biryani-craving, our man asked what was wrong. The delivery guy sternly advised him to avoid meat until after the festival. "I froze up with a guilty smile," our man wrote, "kya hi bolta mai unko? Why does he care anyway?"
Confusion soon turned into concern. The man confessed he was now uneasy about eating the food, worried that the delivery guy might have done something to it.
"What should I do? I have his number and name, he knows my home, if I report him he might make a scene," he posted.
We think anyone stopping anyone from digging into their biryani should be made a cognisable offence.
Coimbatore student believes he can fly
Everyone has at least once nurtured the dream of becoming a superhero. But a 19-year-old Coimbatore boy reportedly took all his 'superpowers' way too seriously and ended up with broken bones after failing to take off from the fourth floor of his hostel balcony.
Yeah, big surprise.
Apparently the Btech student would often brag to his friends about how he could jump from any building and come out unscathed because of superpowers he believes he has been bestowed with.
A week before flying off the handle, he had apparently told his friends that someone had done black magic on him.
The climax of this narrative came to life one evening when our guy took the ‘leap of faith’ in the midst of a chat with his friends. From abovementioned fourth floor balcony.
To his – and no one else’s, obv – surprise, he landed on the ground, injuring his head and limbs. He was rushed to a private hospital and later shifted to another where he underwent treatment.
Our guy is apparently pursuing Artificial Intelligence and Data Science. Maybe he’d be better off pursuing natural commonsense.
Dating in Bangalore? Have you got a growth plan?
It’s the classic date — just the two of you, and your five-year growth strategy.
Bengaluru-based CEO Divyanshu Sekhar recently exposed the woes of dating as a startup founder in a LinkedIn post that is equal parts relatable and funny.
"Dating as a founder is tough," he confessed. "I go in hoping to talk about feelings and somehow end up pitching my business plan. Is it even a real date if I don’t explain my ‘vision’?"
In response, fellow CEO Shivasai Adepu said, “Someone needs to build a dating app for entrepreneurs,only because entrepreneur minded partners can understand and live together.”
Naturally, what every founder needs is a match who’s also dying to discuss burn rates over brunch.
In all this, the real hero was Pradipta D, another startup founder, who gave Sekhar some practical advice:
“Pitch only if your date wants to split the bill.”
Hollywood has AI fight scenes, Goa has huge Narkasur
Calcutta’s Durga Puja pandals – famous for creating an ambience that defies description – beware. The Goans are catching up.
It would surely seem so from an Instagram reel of a huge demon spewing fire at a human on a beach in Goa on Diwali.
On Diwali, the people of Goa celebrate Lord Krishna’s victory over the demon king Narkasur. Effigies of Narkasur are paraded and burnt in various parts of the state.
It was no different this year. But this particular effigy of Narkasur was on a different level. It was a huge – nearly 40-foot it would seem – demon with rocket type fireworks coming out of his mouth and hitting the ground as it leaned, one toe on a truck, large over a man dancing with a sword, dressed like a character from Ramanand Sagar’s Ramayan.
It was like watching the battle of Helm’s Deep before Gandalf arrives. You are just consumed with one thought: How will this unequal battle end in defeat for the bad guy as you know it must?
It was equal parts fascinating, bizarre, and gripping. And the comments showed that: “Dancing like that aimlessly needs lots of patience and passion. Kudos to the artist,” one person wrote.
Another added: “Delhi people who think Goa means all about club partying, watch this.”
US Ambassador goes Vicky Kaushal, is trolled too
The US Embassy’s Diwali bash turned into a Bollywood moment with Ambassador Eric Garcetti leading the charge in true bhangra style.
Dressed in a shiny kurta, white pyjama and a maroon scarf draped over his shoulders, Garcetti threw himself into the groove with a performance that can only be described as “Tauba, Tauba!”...literally the song he was dancing to from this year’s film ‘Bad Newz’ starring Vicky Kaushal.
In the video, Garcetti, surrounded by embassy colleagues, busts out his best bhangra moves right in front of the embassy’s grand building.
And there was also some trolling. Reposting the video from the handle of a TV channel, one X user quipped: “Meanwhile, the wait time for U.S. visitor visa appointments in India are as follows: Mumbai: 422 days Delhi: 386 days Chennai: 477 days Hyderabad: 407 days.”
