Bollywood veteran Zeenat Aman did not dwell on “meaningful relationships” in her younger days and has had little success in that arena since then, she admitted in a social media post on Monday while reflecting on how loneliness has become part of her life.

“This Monday, a meditation on meaningful relationships. I have not had too many. I didn’t dwell on it when I was younger, but now I have been giving it some thought. There is a saying — it’s lonely at the top. Well, it’s lonely at the bottom too. I have experienced both,” the actress wrote on Instagram alongside a throwback picture of herself.

Zeenat noted that her public persona often overshadowed her true self, making it challenging for her to form genuine connections. “In my own private examination of my life, I have realised a crude truth. Meaningful relationships have been difficult to come by because my public persona has always overshadowed my true self. The idea that people have of me has been something of a prison, even while it has been a privilege,” she shared.

Zeenat also stated that her interactions with men were governed by their superficially flattering but ultimately shallow intentions, while her relationships with women were complicated by societal comparisons and the resulting jealousy. “With men, their intent was almost always obvious, which was flattering but ultimately shallow. And with women… the nature of society, especially back in those days, forced comparisons that led to envy in one too many cases,” reads the 72-year-old actress’s note.

In her long note, Zeenat reflected on what truly constitutes a meaningful relationship. “For me it is when there is reciprocity - in celebrating each other's successes, enduring the bad times together, being able to speak and receive home truths, and above all, reaching a point where your outward masks (and don’t we all have them?) can be removed,” she wrote, highlighting the aspects she deems essential.

“Sadly, I have had limited success in this arena,” the actress admitted, adding that her personal struggles have made her value the few meaningful relationships she does have even more.

Zeenat signed off with a wish that others may find such meaningful relationships to add brilliance to their lives.

On the work front, Zeenat last appeared in Ashutosh Gowarikar’s 2019 epic war drama Panipat alongside Arjun Kapoor, Sanjay Dutt and Kriti Sanon. She will soon be seen in Faraz Arif Ansari’s upcoming directorial Bun Tikki, a Manish Malhotra production that also marks her on-screen reunion with Shabana Azmi after the 1982 crime drama Ashanti.

Additionally, the actress has joined the cast of the upcoming Netflix series The Royals, which also stars Bhumi Pednekar and Ishaan Khatter. Sakshi Tanwar, Nora Fatehi, Dino Morea, Milind Soman, Chunky Panday, Vihaan Samat, Kavya Trehan, Sumukhi Suresh, Udit Arora, Lisa Mishra and Luke Kenny round off the show’s ensemble cast.