In July, he made an action-packed big screen debut with Kill, and with the blood-and-gore film now making its way to OTT, the accolades for Lakshya are pouring in afresh. t2 chatted with the strapping young actor — a successful TV alum — on the path to his unconventional debut, described as ‘India’s most violent film’.

Though Kill did considerably well at the box office, is there more feedback now with its streaming release on Disney+Hotstar?

Yes, and it feels amazing because I was waiting for this day for a very, very long time. I have been in Bombay for nine years now and I have had my fair share of struggle. The love for Kill makes me feel validated.

When you spend so much time doing the same thing over and over again and you don’t get that level of acknowledgement and appreciation that you think you deserve, it does take a toll on your self-confidence and value system. You start questioning as to whether you are good enough or not. These questions would haunt me but I never lost hope. I always believed in myself.

What kept you going during this period of uncertainty?

I don’t come from a film background. I didn’t have any contacts in the Hindi film industry. I started off with television and every year, I felt there was some career growth. Every year, I was doing a bigger and better TV show. So I had some confidence that I am probably still here for a reason.

I never thought even in my wildest dreams that I would be an actor. It was too far-fetched a thought. But it grew on me over a period of time. I felt a sense of purpose while acting. I realised this is what I want to do and I have to keep at it. I had to make sure that every year I kept bettering my craft... that I should develop more skills, get more mature with time. I focused on that.

What led to bagging Kill? What was your reaction when you heard about the film, which is quite unlike anything Hindi cinema has seen before?

I was initially supposed to start my film career with ‘Dostana 2’. That was also with Dharma (Productions, that produced Kill). We shot ‘Dostana 2’ (that also starred Kartik Aaryan and Janhvi Kapoor) for a period of time but it got shelved. That was in 2019. I bagged that film after doing a TV show called Porus, which was quite popular.

Kill is streaming on Disney+Hotstar

At that time, I was thinking of taking a sabbatical from TV because I had done everything that one could possibly do in that medium. I wanted to take a leap of faith and see if I could break into films.

I met Shanoo Sharma, the casting head of Yash Raj Films. We did a couple of auditions and the process went on for four or five months. She has a massive hand in transforming me into the kind of human being and actor I am today. Television requires a very different set of acting skills and your emotions have to be out there. Films require more realistic acting.

At that time, Dharma was looking to launch a new face and Shanoo asked me to meet them. The audition process there also went on for 40-50 days. I eventually got a call from Karan sir (Johar) that I was on board and that was the best day of my life! But ‘Dostana 2’ didn’t happen and the pandemic hit. After that, Dharma offered me another film called ‘Bedhadak’ (with Shanaya Kapoor and Gurfateh Pirzada) which got announced but even that eventually didn’t happen. At that point, I started thinking that my film career was probably jinxed.

Then, Karan sir called me and said that there is a director (Nikhil Nagesh Bhat) who is making a hardcore action film. I met him and halfway through the narration of Kill, I was in tears. I was reacting to everything that he was saying, I was living every moment of the narration, I was imagining myself doing all those stunts. By the end of of it, my only question to him was: ‘When are you getting started?’

I was desperate for work... I had been out of work for over three years. By then, even money had become a bit of a problem for me. I was losing confidence. Friends and family would keep asking me what I was shooting next and I had no answer. When Kill came to me, I gave it all I had. It came to me at the right time. I was so full of angst, desperation and vulnerability.

Did you channel those emotions into your performance?

I believe I did. I was angry about so many things and I was desperate. I wanted to prove myself to everybody and also to myself that I was worthy enough. I felt a hunger and anger that I targeted into my acting. I was genuinely being vulnerable and honestly being that angry, I didn’t need to act in the film. I was just being honest to the emotions that I was feeling. I kept it very personal and that is why Kill is very personal to me.

What is the most enduring feedback that you have got for your performance in Kill?

It happened on the day of the trailer launch when Karan sir told me that he felt the same emotions for me as he felt for Alia (Bhatt) when he had launched her. Alia being Alia — such a fine actress — that was a massive compliment for me. Vicky Kaushal had very good things to say about my performance. Vicky being (action director) Sham Kaushal’s son, understands action very well. Also, a lot of aspiring actors have reached out to me saying: ‘Looking at you, it feels like that we can also do it.’ That feels amazing. Kill has given me more than I expected.

Kill was an incredibly difficult film to make, physically and emotionally. What was the toughest for you?

There was a lot of prep involved. We trained for six months, day in and day out. I memorised every piece of choreography, every fight scene... and that involved not only my punches but other people’s moves as well. I was completely immersed in every aspect of the film.

I had to look like a commando and that involved gaining muscle mass. I had to work a lot on that as well. We also went to the Army camp in Manesar and met the commandos there. I was fortunate enough to get a chance to interact with them. I wanted to get an insight into how they talk and think. They are so inherently charming and cool. I tried imbibing that in my character.

We all focused on making an honest, sincere film. Though it is gory and bloody, the honesty of the story shines through. The audience feels a sense of personal loss when they watch the film. I felt that as well while making Kill. Initially, I couldn’t sleep at night because I would keep having nightmares of the fight sequences. I was so caught up in the process that I could not think of anything else. I stopped meeting my friends. I was not able to interact with my dog properly. I was not able to give her the kind of love that I would otherwise do.

Kill is an extremely technically sound film. So many people ask me how we managed to shoot it so well. Every department has done such an amazing job.

Though you were right in the middle of it, did the gore catch you off-guard when you watched the film?

It was always meant to be a brutal film with solid emotions. At our premiere at TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival), the audience around me was hooting and clapping. It felt so surreal. While making Kill, I never approached it as a gory or violent film. I knew I am an actor and I had to do justice to my part and to the film. My punch had to be the hardest punch.

Do you think an unconventional debut like Kill has elicited more interest in you as an actor than love stories like ‘Dostana 2’ or ‘Bedhadak’ could have?

To an extent, yes. But the other two films didn’t happen, so I don’t know what paths they would have opened for me. It is very hypothetical. Kill has happened and I am very happy with what is happening to me right now. Kill has definitely proven my worth as an actor.

Destiny has plans for everyone. Imagine ‘Dostana 2’... such a fun comedy space and me coming out of a pool, flaunting a six-pack and cut to a movie like Kill where I am covered completely in blood. The universe works in a mysterious manner. I am grateful for whatever has happened.

Sometimes the most conventional, the most ‘correct’ formula doesn’t line up. And sometimes you make a very different film that no one would have thought of and it works. The process is always evolving and one is always discovering new ideas. You really can’t say what works and what doesn’t.

Lakshya was the right choice for Kill because... Tell t2@abp.in