Kubbra Sait has always been a multi-hyphenate talent. Now, the actor-anchor is ready with her memoir, which, true to Kubbra’s well-known traits of honesty and straight talk, is titled Open Book. Over a freewheeling conversation, we spoke about the thought behind Open Book, the challenges and why Kubbra isn’t afraid of telling her truth. Open Book is out on June 27.

In the middle of acting, hosting duties, an international project, voice work and so much more, when did you get the time to write a memoir?

In the first lockdown when we didn’t know what to do with our time is when I decided to write the memoir. Everyone was looking to enrol for courses, learn a new skill, make banana bread or whip up dalgona coffee, I was like, ‘I want to do something that’s useful to me’. Before that I didn’t realise how important recalibration, revisiting the past and really overcoming what was holding me back was. In fact, I had started thinking of doing this back in 2019, when I started getting more and more comfortable with myself and with the stories that had made me the person I am.

Being grateful is something that I have always believed in, it’s helped me get through my tough days. Instead of focusing on what’s not happened, I have always looked at what has happened. There is so much within me that has made me who I am but no one is really going to sit down with you and hear your stories and learn from your mistakes.

Today, I am in a position where there is a visible growth in my journey, and people come up to ask, ‘I want to do the same... how did you do it?’ I want to tell them what’s easy in the beginning, what’s hard, dealing with adversity... these are questions I had to ask myself. And when I asked myself those questions, I felt I had so much to write! A book requires you to write about 60,000 words. In eight months, I had written 90,000 words!

The thought never crossed your mind to attempt a memoir a few years later when you are older and had more of a journey?

I have always believed in kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kare so ab. When I first came to Bombay, I was 27. People told me, ‘You needed to come here at 18 in order to become a heroine. Now you will only get sidekick roles.’ I was like, ‘I don’t want to be a heroine ya, I will be a sidekick’ (laughs).

When I wrote the last sentence of the book and sent it to my editor, I felt I had let go of my past, I had nothing holding me back. I really have nothing to be afraid of. This is my story, my truth. Whoever I have written about in the book is alive and present... it’s not been written posthumously. And that’s okay.

I remember when I was doing the revelation scene in Sacred Games, I asked (director) Anurag Kashyap how to do that scene, how to cry, and he asked me about a person I was in love with and I spoke about him and cried. Every story has a different impact on you, makes you feel a certain way and you carry a lot inside your heart.

What were the challenges of writing this and did you want to put in certain incidents, but didn’t or couldn’t?

I have pretty much put in everything that I wanted to. All the things that I feel miss ho gaya, I am like, ‘Nayi kitaab mein daal denge!’ (Laughs) I have spoken about my first break, about being abused and the things that are authentically close to me. It’s not that I am the only one who has gone through these things. It will not shock anyone, rather I am hoping that it will bring them on the same page and think that it can happen to anyone. If it gives them strength, then my job is done. And if you are looking to give strength, you need to come from a place of strength.

What made you zero in on the title?

That’s my favourite part of this process. The first autobiography I read was Open (by former tennis champ Andre Agassi). At that point, I hadn’t even thought of writing a book. I know that by that title, he (Agassi) was referring to tennis, but it was such a raw and honest read that it felt like an open book.

When we were discussing the title, I asked if ‘Open Book’ was already taken and I was told no one wanted that title. There is no book called ‘Open Book!’ And I was like, ‘Okay, this was waiting for me... it was meant for me’.

I am a Leo, I am an extrovert, I am always high-energy and I will never lie to you if you ask me a question. I honestly believe that I have no secrets. It’s just that people don’t care enough to ask the questions! (Laughs)

Isn’t this kind of honesty and straight talk an anomaly in the profession you are in?

I have always met wonderful people and most of them know that I don’t mean anything ill. Me speaking my truth doesn’t mean that somebody else is bad. My realisation is my life and my journey. I have always exercised the freedom of who I am. I am sure that there will be a lot of questions and murmurs in the air about what the content of this book is going to be. I just want to tell them to first read the book.

People are the fastest to call judgment on everything, be it a film, a music video, be it a tweet... trailer se log film ka destiny bataa dete hain. The announcement of the book is just a trailer. If you enjoy reading my book, great... if you don’t, no problem, it’s okay. But at least my work is done because I have been able to do one job that I really love on my own time and with the right intention.

You are a multi-hyphenate talent. Going forward, will you concentrate on a few strengths or continue to keep the journey organic?

I think my organic journey has been my biggest strength. When you get good at doing something, it requires lesser effort on your part. Acting makes me happy, but to realise that I had to put in so much effort to make that my reality. Today I can ask the questions. Today if I am unhappy with a shot, I can tell the director, ‘Hey, I want another take.’ I have evolved even there as a person.

In four years, I have had six-seven projects, including Foundation (her Apple TV+ show). There is a lot going on and I like finding my calm in the eye of the storm.

The last time I burnt out was 2017 and after I picked myself up, I have been good. Now I only do as much as I can. Once someone asked me what I am working on next. I said, ‘inner peace’ and I left (laughs). I prioritise myself now.