Kareena Kapoor Khan was a special guest at the recently concluded ABP Network Ideas of India Summit 3.0 held in Mumbai. In a 30-minute session titled ‘One actor, many acts’ moderated by author-journalist Vir Sanghvi and author Chetan Bhagat, Kareena spoke about what goes into achieving a work-life balance in the demanding career that she is in. t2 was present in the house. Excerpts.

Career, family, fitness, looks, money and fame. You seem to have it all. What does it take to have it all?

What I have, which I count most important among all these things, is happiness. My happiness is my mental stability. If I didn’t have that, then everything else would fall apart. For me, that is the most important thing that a woman should preserve. Self-preservation leads to happiness.

What is your work schedule like? Do you work non-stop or are you pretty relaxed?

On some days, it is very hectic. Today was very hectic because a lot of things were happening in the Khan household. There is Taimur’s school fete. I missed Jeh’s first-ever concert today because I was shooting an ad campaign. Saif was doing rehearsals for his film with Netflix. But he went to the school fair and the concert, while I had to come here. It is a constant battle, but I love it. I enjoy it.

Does it get easier with time?

It is what you want it to be. On some days, I want it to be like this. Then there are days when I want to switch off my phone. I don’t want to talk to anybody, not even to my parents. I want to be with myself and with my immediate unit, which is my two kids and my husband.

What is interesting about you and Saif is that though you are public figures, you are also very private...

As I said, some things should be preserved and kept a little bit unknown. That feeling of: ‘Okay, do we know her? Or we don’t?’ There is a side to me that is very private. If everything is left for the known and judgment, I don’t know how we will survive as actors.

You have a reputation for being the more even-tempered one while Saif is slightly moody. Is that true?

Well, he is not going to agree to that! He is going to say that even I am moody. We both, in a way, ground each other. I think a husband and wife feed off each other. If he is hyper, I am calm and if I am getting hyper, he is always trying to calm me down. Somewhere, that dynamic has worked out. He may be a lot more impulsive but I think I have calmed him down.

You have seen fame for generations in your family. How do you look at the disproportionate attention your sons, particularly Taimur, get? They are on social media, there are memes...

The only way I could be was to be chilled about it. I was hyper inside but if I brought it out, it would have affected Taimur. Saif told me: ‘We can’t run away from this (the paparazzi). Instead of trying to scar him further, let us just take it in our stride and walk with our heads down outside the airport or wherever it is.’ And now, Taimur understands that his parents are famous and he is quite easy about it. He is very chilled.

You are on social media, but Saif isn’t. Is there pressure on you to be on social media to just be in the game and to stay relevant?

Saif doesn’t like all that stuff of taking your picture and constantly posting. It is easier for me somehow... maybe I like taking selfies (laughs). But I know how to control it. I give an idea of a little bit of my life but I also know when to pull back. Some people get very consumed by social media. I think because I have a lot going on in my life, I don’t get affected or consumed by it.

Do you sometimes feel guilty about working and not being there for your kids?

There was a lot of guilt that I couldn’t be there for Jeh’s first concert. But I tell myself that I will be there when he performs next year. It is more for me because he is three and he doesn’t understand these things. It is my guilt. I have to convince myself that it is okay. Being a working mother is something that I can’t live without. I don’t know anything apart from that.

Taimur understands when I say I am going to work. I also feel it is a healthy atmosphere for him to see both his parents going to work, and that they take turns being at home. I think it will give him a balanced approach to knowing how to respect a woman a lot more.

I have two kids. I cannot do as many movies as I used to do 10 years ago. There has to be some sacrifice made because both of us are working. If I want to do a film, then Saif will be at home with the kids and vice-versa. They are of that age where they need at least one of their parents with them. Then we take out a few months in a year when we don’t work at all, which is June to August. That is a pact that, come what may, we will do.

Do you feel how women are treated in the industry has changed now? Or is it still the same?

It has changed. A lot of strong women have done a lot of strong parts. They have done films that have been loved by the masses as well as by critics. Lead actresses like Kangana (Ranaut), Vidya (Balan), Deepika (Padukone) and I have always attempted roles that have been more than mere props. What has well and truly changed is the dynamic of women demanding a certain role, a certain fee and a certain position.

You are in a business where success and failure come and go very quickly. Saif, until he made it, had 14 flops in a row. How do you insulate your kids from the uncertainties of your profession?

It is tough to not be caught up in this vicious, never-ending circle of success and failure. When you are successful, it is never enough, you want to constantly keep chasing it. I have learnt to say that this is what I want to do, and only this much, and then step back. I have seen it all, I have done it all... but now I want to find success, happiness and comfort in things apart from just chasing the box office.

I have to give a lot of credit to Saif. My marriage to him grounded me, gave me a sort of comfort and a lot of exposure to many other things. Like a life outside the movies, whether it is friendships from school and college, family, travel, or watching sunsets. I was pregnant during one of his shoots and I spent three weeks with him in Dharamshala. We walked around, went to the market and I enjoyed my time of not being an actor. He exposed me to that, which I then started enjoying. And once you get that, you find that balance.

There was the notion that an actor, especially women, only had a limited shelf life. That is not there anymore...

The audience today has become more accepting and age is just a number. Of course, you have to be fit and you have to look good because it is a visual medium. But then again, I don’t want to ever be 21 again! I am very happy.

Why not?!

At 21, I was much more hyper and anxious. Today, I am in a happy place.

Do you see yourself acting forever or stepping back at some point?

My grandfather (Raj Kapoor) always said: ‘Jeena yahaan, marna yahaan, iske siwa jaana kahaan?’ I have grown up with that (idea). I want to be on a movie set forever. But that is in the family, right? Till the end, he (Raj Kapoor) was planning his next film. Even if he was down, he always bounced back.... He lost everything in Mera Naam Joker, right down to his last shirt. But he fought back and won it all back.

I don’t know if I will walk away because I just love what I do. I am passionate about being in front of the camera and doing different parts. And I want to work forever. Maybe 20 years later, we will have a chat and figure it out.
I am a Kareena Kapoor Khan fan because... Tell t2@abp.in