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‘I need a good script and a good writer to write that script. The sets need to be safe so that actors can fly’ — Tillotama Shome

A t2 chat with The Telegraph She Awards 2024 awardee

Priyanka Roy  Published 25.06.24, 03:21 PM
Tillotama Shome

Tillotama Shome

Birthday girl Tillotama Shome's already overflowing cap has got another prestigious feather added to it. The actor makes an entry into Season 3 of Kota Factory. Streaming now on Netflix, Tillotama plays an empathetic teacher on the popular show, which looks at the intense pressure that students face to crack competitive exams. A t2 chat with The Telegraph She Awards 2024 awardee.

You continue to win awards for Lust Stories 2. What do awards mean to you?

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Lust Stories 2 will always have a special place in my heart because it is so rare to get a film that talks about women's desires without looking down on them. Working with a mind like Konkona (Sensharma, who directed the segment named 'The Mirror') and with a co-actor like Amruta (Subhash) made one feel very alive. The politics of the story and its complex negotiation was like a rich, sumptuous meal and every bite was so delicious for me.

To win an award for something like this makes one feel that what you felt was shared by others as well. It tells you that your instincts are not wrong, and what drew me into that story is something that drew others in as well. As an actor, you tend to question and second-guess yourself. So it means a lot.

When you spend 20 years not giving up on what you love doing, even though the opportunities are far and few, and the validation is sometimes non-existent from the industry, then you understand that the award lies in just getting the work and creating a character that transforms you, that allows you to look at the world in a different way, opens you to meeting storytellers who you have so much to learn from and which transports you to a different place. Then you start seeing that the real prize is in being offered a certain kind of story, being invited as a collaborator and as an interpreter.

Getting an award, of course, makes me feel really appreciated, it makes my parents happy and I am glad they can see all this while they are alive. They will be less worried now about my choice of profession. They have always believed in me but I think this kind of external validation makes a parent's heart more at ease.

They are like little children who feel so excited to see that their daughter who started a journey 20-plus years ago and was often sitting at home without any work and who they supported through all that, is doing well now. I keep all my awards with them. Anyway, our Bombay homes are so small. I have such little space and my collection of plants keep increasing with every travel. So all the awards are with Ma and Baba so that I can have more plants!

What is it about Season 3 of Kota Factory that spoke to you?

When I got the call for Kota Factory, just a few moments after that, I got a news alert on my phone about a student who had committed suicide in Kota. When the fictional world that we engage in as actors collides with the harshness of facts, you are compelled to take a stand.

Kota Factory is not fiction. There are young lives in my country who are going through tremendous pressure and their hopes and dreams are significant. For it to end without it having a chance to express itself is sad and unimaginable for the parents, but also an utter loss and waste of resource that directly impacts the quality of our future.

The youth are our future. We are worried about our future but we don't want to invest in the emotional well-being of the young. But TVF (the creators of the series) cares and Kota Factory puts the youth as the protagonists, right at the front and centre. It has also created a teacher (Jeetu Bhaiya, played by Jitendra Kumar) who is so loved because he cares for his students.

I knew in my heart that I had to do it even before I read the script. I never say 'yes' to anything without reading the script. But in the case of Kota Factory, the decision in my heart was already made that I have to do it.

Kota Factory is the story of a teacher who cares for his students beyond exams and ranks. But it is these same students who make getting into IIT the centre of their lives, to the point of obsessing over it. How do you think the show achieves a balance between the two?

The fact that the show even cares is a big win for me. I don't think this space even existed earlier. The makers have come out of that grind themselves... they have been at IIT. They know firsthand what the pressure is. The sense of empathy is very high. Instead of making it their bitter experiences and worries, making them cynical and hard, they decided to become storytellers who, with Kota Factory, are telling a story that understands the pressure on the students, of the dream to get to IIT.

In most Indian households, our educational qualification is key because other ways of making ends meet don't really exist. It is not about judging the students, it is about accepting that this exists. You can't just undo social conditioning by saying something once.

One of the most important moments in Kota Factory — which you can say is the slogan, the heartbeat of the show — says that victory actually lies in the preparation, in the journey.... But one has to repeat this because the worries and anxieties that have been so foundational in our society when it comes to learning and education, of learning by memory and not actually understanding and putting so much focus on how well we do in our exams rather than being able to really enjoy a subject, are so deeply ingrained.

I had science in Class XI and XII and was very bad at organic chemistry. I had a tuition teacher who told us about this chemist who was researching the structure of the Benzene Molecule and was unable to figure it. One night, he dreamt of a snake that bit its own tail and suddenly, the snake took the shape of a hexagon. When he woke up, he realised: 'Oh my God, this makes complete sense! This is the shape of the Benzene Molecule'. One thinks of the world of dreams and imagination and the world of science as being two separate things. But when you read the writings of scientists, you see how philosophical and poetic they can be.

The vulnerability as well as the strength of these students are tremendous. They are young and they have their whole future ahead of them. Their worries are as dramatic as their hopes. Jeetu Bhaiya knows that and he repeats it over and over again. In this world of darkness and gloom, it is nice to have this ideal teacher.

Did you have to tap into any aspect of Tillotama to play Pooja, the chemistry teacher?

I was not the best student. But then I met this really good teacher and everything changed. The show explores that, what that one good teacher can do and how they can change the way you feel about yourself, about the subject, and make you love something that you thought you hated. A teacher like this is an amazing 'converter machine' that takes this hate and fear and turns it into love and hope. I love the simplicity and the hopefulness of that.

What kind of mind space are you in now as an actor? Not only is there a lot of work, it is also rewarding...

I am very grateful for the work that I have got. Post the pandemic, it is a bit of a difficult time for the industry. Everyone is trying to gain their equilibrium and trying to understand how to pivot. I am grateful to be included and to be a part of this industry.

I don't want to overthink it. For me, the process will remain the same. I still need a good script and a good writer to write that script. The sets need to be safe so that actors can fly. Those fundamentals remain the same. I want to focus on being able to do my best in the opportunities that come. Do I look at myself differently with so much work? I think if I stop taking care of the inner child, I will get bored. And then I won't get work.

India, and in particular Indian women, have really had a moment at the Cannes Film Festival this year. How does that make you feel?

An immense amount of pride and at the same time, a dash of rage at how difficult it is to make an independent film. There is so little support for it. International recognition and international film festivals become the only way such films can see the light of day.

Despite all that, the women made it! The excitement and the joy for me was already at a fever pitch when I heard about the nominations and the win (for Anasuya Sengupta for Best Actor and for Team All We Imagine as Light that won the Grand Prix) was a windfall. It is an impenetrable forest, but they have cleared out a path for us to walk on. I hope we gain strength from that.

A win like this is a win for everyone because it helps you to recalibrate the despair and keep moving forward. People are writing about them today but the crew that stood with the film when there was nobody supporting it... to all of them, a big 'thank you' for building a road for all of us to walk on.

Do you think that there is a filmmaker or a writer in you somewhere?

I am not able to find her currently. I am talking to her every day. I am waiting for her to show up. It is really hard. I will let you know when she shows up.

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