Vin Diesel in sleeveless shirts. Check. Use of the word ‘family’ every other scene. Check. A backyard cookout with said family. Check. Cameos by well-known actors. Check. A street race with lots of scantily-clad women. Check. Retconned character. Check. Car stunts that defy logic, gravity and laws of physics. Check.
Fast X, directed by franchise newcomer Louis Letterier (The Incredible Hulk, Transporter 2), has every ridiculous thing that has made the Fast and Furious series an annoyingly entertaining one. No, no one went to space this time (F9), but don’t worry, there are enough stupidly entertaining car stunts to make up for it.
The tenth instalment — and the first of the last trilogy (at least according to Diesel) of the twelve-film (it will be) franchise (phew!) — begins with a trip down memory lane to Fast Five, you know, the one where Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian drive a vault through the city of Rio using it as a wrecking ball to take out chasing cars?
Only this time Hernan Reyes leaves behind a sociopathic son Dante (Jason Momoa), and he has emerged after five years to exact his revenge — not kill Dom, but make him suffer by taking away from him all the people he loves.
This plotline involves chasing a neutron bomb encased in a giant ball through the streets of Rome and Dom saving the Vatican and the Pope with his car. And that is just the beginning. Pfft. There is also Dom using his car to out-muscle two helicopters and him riding down the side of a dam through fire. Didn’t I say you don’t have to miss the space outing for your dose of ridiculous?
As expected there are internal face-offs (and making-ups) even when the Fast family is being threatened by a lunatic who is a cross between Heath Ledger’s Joker and Captain Jack Sparrow. So Roman (Tyrese Gibson) and Tej (Ludacris) have a go at it as do the resurrected Han (Sung Kang) and Deckard (Jason Statham, yes he is there).
The necessary girl-on-girl fight happens in the form of Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) and Cipher (Charlize Theron, yes, she is there too). But Dante’s target is on everyone’s back, including Queenie Shaw (Helen Mirren, of course she is there too). John Cena shows up as Jakob Toretto and this time plays the goofy uncle to Dom’s son Little B’ (?!). Gal Gadot shows up too, as does Dwayne Johnson (wait for the mid-credit scene). Then there are the new Oscar-winning additions — Brie Larson as the daughter of Mr Nobody and Rita Moreno as Abuelita Torretto. Come on, there are 10 films worth of stars to include because everyone ends up being family and no one ever dies.
The film is as illogically entertaining as one would expect a Fast film to be and may actually be faster and more furious (in the action per scene ratio) than any of the films before, but it could have done without the emotional/smiley Dom (stop it, please stop it!) and all the family brouhaha. Just stop taking yourselves seriously, we don’t!
Jason Momoa might have had a blast playing the androgynous, deranged, sociopathic baddie who has a penchant for ballet poses and saying ‘enchante’, but it was often too over-the-top and bordered heavily on annoying.
But if you have time on your hands, have enjoyed the past Fast movies and have nothing better to do this weekend, hop on for the ride. It’s not like you don’t know what to expect, and what not to, from a Fast film.
