After her impressive act in the Netflix show Jamtara, Monika Panwar is gearing up for the release of her debut feature film Dukaan on April 5. Directed by screenwriter duo Siddharth Singh and Garima Wahal, Dukaan deals with surrogacy, and Monika shared with us how the film came to her, the kind of cinema she wants to be associated with and the actors she looks up to.

Dukaan is your first feature film, and that too as the main lead. The firsts are always special. How did Dukaan happen?

Monika Panwar: I auditioned for it and they loved the take. And then they called me for the meeting. After some time, they just gave me the script and I was like, ‘Okay, I'll just go through the script’. And then they were like, ‘We want you to do this role’. I was completely shocked. It was a huge thing for me.

Were you nervous, especially when many leading actresses had turned this role down?

Monika Panwar: The OTT world is a bit different. When you come on board for a Bollywood feature film, it’s a totally different game. I was not nervous as such. I was excited. I was very grateful in the beginning that I was getting something like this, and that’s what you are here for, to get something demanding and challenging.

After some time, you start thinking about how you are going to prepare for this. That’s when the tension builds up for you as an actor. But I think it is a process you have to go through. If it’s that simple then it’s no fun. The main thing is when you’re always wondering and pondering on one thought — how will I do this scene? What will I make of this? How will this character progress? And you just keep on daydreaming about your character. I think that’s what makes it beautiful. That’s what an actor wants. Everyone wants that difficulty and challenges. Otherwise, it’s boring.

Did you have a take on surrogacy before Dukaan happened? And has it changed after doing the film?

Monika Panwar: I knew about surrogacy but I was not completely aware of the whole process. When I read the script, I realised that Dukaan is talking about this world from the surrogate’s point of view. It’s not just about one character. It’s a proper business and you’re going to see the surrogate’s lifestyle, feelings and what all they go through. That’s what was new for me.

I think people might be aware of the surrogacy process. But who are those women? Nobody has heard their voice. They are faceless. For research we went where they live as a community. These women, after seven months of pregnancy, start coming to this centre and all of them stay there. Their families and the couples whose surrogate child the woman is pregnant with bring presents, et cetera. That’s how they take care of each other. I was amazed by this totally different world.

What were the revelations for you from your experience of playing Jasmin in Dukaan?

Monika Panwar: I think embracing motherhood and maternal instinct, which I was not aware of. I would not say that Jasmin detests children but she isn’t fond of them either. But when she gets involved with a child who is not her own, it happens in that fraction of a moment. You don’t know how you’re going to feel in a moment. It’s like how you experience love. Sometimes you fall in love with someone who you never thought you would.

Mothers are fearless creatures. No matter how weak a woman is, when it comes to protecting her child, she will show her wild self. Just to experience that thing was like, ‘Wow, this also happens’. Love is an extreme emotion, and there’s no logic in extreme emotions. It’s a visceral feeling.

What kind of reactions have you received since the trailer and the songs have been out?

Monika Panwar: The people who are very close to you will never react. The layman’s reaction matters a lot to me. They have never seen you and they don’t know you. We are getting good reactions to the trailer. Some are comparing the film with another film (Kriti Sanon-starrer Mimi). But I just want people to go and watch the film and decide for themselves. The audience’s reaction is patthar ki lakeer for me. Dukaan is made on a low budget but we have tried our best to make a film that will entertain the audience for two hours.

How did the Netflix show Jamtara change things for you?

Monika Panwar: People started seeing me as an actor who could play substantial roles. I started my career with Jamtara. It was the role of a strong-headed girl among the male characters. For me, that was a life-changing thing. If you play a character like that, people won’t approach you for any random character. They will offer you something substantial. The makers of Dukaan also watched Jamtara and then approached me.

I was very grateful that they could see me in the role of Jasmin because this is not just an intense character. Jasmin has a humorous side too. She is very whimsical by nature. That’s why I was surprised when Siddharth and Garima could imagine me as Jasmin after watching my character in Jamtara.

For me, writers play a very pivotal role. They are the foundation. Now things are changing. People are writing things about women. They are giving them a voice.

What kind of cinema do you want to be associated with?

Monika Panwar: Of course, I love Bollywood. But I don’t want to be part of the kind of cinema where people will see you for two hours and then forget you after coming out of the theatre. I want people to talk about the film. I want the characters that I play to touch people’s hearts. They will do something to your heart, to your senses. If it’s not happening, then I don’t want to be a part of that game. Because you’re as good as your team. It has to happen right from the beginning, at the script level. That’s how I have grown up. I got inspired by the actors I look up to.

Who were those actors?

Monika Panwar: From India, I love Fahadh Faasil. I love Nana Patekar. He’s a crazy actor. Then of course, Smita Patil, Shabana Azmi, Irrfan Khan. There’s a long list of Hollywood actors too.

My whole thing is that you should be irreplaceable. The director should be sad if you’re not part of the film. I want to be relevant. Your looks will fade but if you have a strong hold on your craft, you’ll remain relevant.

You seem quite inquisitive as an actor. What questions did you ask the directors Siddharth Singh and Garima Wahal?

Monika Panwar: Firstly, I asked, ‘Why are you taking me for this character?’ [laughs] Jokes apart, it matters a lot to me that the actor and director should be on the same page. I think shoot days are for shooting and not for questions. You need to ask questions before you start shooting. I come from a theatre background and I have a good sense of script. You develop a sense of the character by reading a page from the script. You can establish a lot in your first scene by the way you enter and say your first line of dialogue.

And then my whole thing is that if my process is becoming a hindrance for the director, then I would like to change it. But mostly, it never happens. It happens where I have never met the director, he/she has not given me time. Some directors don’t spend a lot of time on preparation but I don’t make a fuss about it.

What are your upcoming releases?

Monika Panwar: Right after this, you will see me in this Amazon Prime Video show called Khauf. It’s a psychological horror show. It’s brilliant. And I’m doing wonders in it [laughs].

Social media has become an integral part of an actor’s life. What is your take on putting yourself out there on social media platforms?

Monika Panwar: I believe in keeping your work sacred, almost worshipping it. And that’s how you make it more profound. I believe in the mystery of things. I love to meet people who have got this enigmatic personality. I’m not fond of social media but there’s the pressure that you have to reach a certain audience. And that’s how you gather audiences and then you’re posting about your work also. That is also necessary. But I give 20 per cent footage to that thing. Because in the end, people should love your work. If they are coming into the theatres, you should have the power to keep them engaged. That’s what I’m trying to do.