The role of mothers has remained somewhat unchanged. But Father’s Day is a good time to once again note the generational difference between the dads of yesteryear and some of today.
Octogenarian Jeetendra and his 45-year-old son Tusshar Kapoor provide a prime example. Jeetendra did what every father did in the 70s and 80s — he was a splendid provider, ensuring that this branch of Juhu Kapoors would always have the best that money could buy. Bringing up the kids, putting them in the best of schools, doing the PTA rounds, supervising their studies and looking after their extra-curricular activities was wife Shobha’s department and she did it well too. I remember Pinkie Roshan and Shobha had worked together to get Ekta, Tusshar and Hrithik into Bombay Scottish, which was halfway into town when most suburban families were content sending their kids to neighbourhood classrooms.
With Marvel talking of multiverses as opposed to a universe, and Ayan Mukerji-Ranbir-Alia ready to introduce India’s “astraverse” to the world with Brahmastra, the fashionable way to say this would be, Tusshar and six-year-old Laksshya live in a “verse” of their own.
So, is Father’s Day special for Tusshar? I single him out because he was the first celebrity to opt for surrogacy and for the responsibility of a single parent, all of it well-captured in The Bachelor Dad, the book Tusshar wrote in February.
“For me, every day is Father’s Day, I’m celebrating being a father every day,” remarked the enthusiastic dad. “I’m really not into these special ‘Days’,” he said expansively. “Now you have a Chocolate Day and a Teddy Day and it’s become more of an Instagram game. Everybody’s preparing what they’re going to post on Instagram. My son’s holidays are on, so we play Housie in the evenings, we’re doing art competitions, playing football downstairs. So for me, if he’s home and I’m home, it’s Father’s Day.”
But Laksshya has begun to understand the significance of special days. “So he’ll make a card for me or do something special like give me a balloon. Even birthdays have become very important for him. He’s got that from his Bua (Ekta), enjoys celebrations and occasions,” he chuckled.
Tusshar also acknowledged the generational shift in daddy’s duties.
“My dad came from the generation that thought being a father was all about being the man of the house and looking after the financials more than being a hands-on parent,” he mused. “That’s what his generation believed in. I’m not judging it but my style is different. I’m hands-on. I also have no choice. I’m both the parents.”
Does this new-age dad have to face questions like “Dad, who’s my mom” or “How come I don’t have a mom”? “I don’t know if people will believe me but I can truthfully say that my son has never asked me this,” said Tusshar. “I’ve brought him up to believe that families are of all kinds, each different in its own way. What’s important is how a family feels within rather than how it appears on the outside.”
It wasn’t a question that particularly perturbed Tusshar. “If my son ever came home with that question, it wouldn’t worry me,” he shrugged. “Kids born to a married couple also come home with questions. Sometimes parents don’t live together, sometimes parents don’t turn up for their children. All kids have questions and if he ever asked me, I’d look at it as just another regular question. But I’m really not concerned about it because my relationship with him is so secure, we feel like a complete family.”
June 19 may not be a particularly big deal for Tusshar but here’s a gift for him from his father on this special day. Jeetendra’s only reply to a Father’s Day question was, “When it’s Father’s Day, I look at Tusshar and admire him for being an exemplary father. He’s such a dedicated, flawless father. By the grace of God, he’s raised a wonderful boy too.”
Happy Father’s Day to Jeetendra and to Tusshar — two different kinds of dads but each a success in his own way.
Bharathi S. Pradhan is a senior journalist and author
