They have known each other for more than three decades and share a bond that has only gotten stronger with time. The multi-hyphenate Aparna Sen and the ever-enthusiastic Nandita Raja, the pillar of heritage den Kanishka’s — that she and her husband-artist Dilip Raja set up 53 years ago — known for their hand-block printing. Besides being achievers, the two friends share an indomitable spirit and the gift of a youthful heart, one that radiates positivity and celebrates the romance that is life. In a freewheeling chat at Raja’s warm Ballygunge Place home, Sen and Raja, dressed in their lovely Kanishka’s saris, chat about friendship and more with t2.
What’s special about female friendships?
Aparna Sen: For me, female bonding is very special because there is an immediate sisterhood. Once the friendship starts, there is that sorority that comes into play.... They understand each other’s problems.... If you see it from the point of view of a woman, it’s the woman’s perspective or gaze that the other automatically understands. I think that’s very important. And, Nandita and I have been friends for a long time. I used to be quite a young actress when I used to go there (Kanishka’s on Hindustan Road). If I had an event, I would ask what I could wear and immediately she and also Dilipda (Raja), who became my dada (elder brother), would bring out saris. They would say ‘pay later, you go now’. (Laughs)
Nandita Raja: Ekdum bari ghorer moton bypaar chhilo... she had come to a friend.... No matter how many good male friends you have, you can only bare your heart out to your girlfriends. The intimacy is much more. You can share everything... from matters of the heart to dressing up.
Sen: The relationship with your children, domestic problems... you can share everything.
Raja: When Rina started frequenting Kanishka’s, she was a leading heroine and very young. We were on our toes that Aparna Sen would be coming to our store, but she was unlike a heroine and we really bonded... moner mil o bolte paro and even in terms of aesthetics. Slowly and steadily ekta antorikota toiri holo.
Sen: When this Ballygunge home was built, they both showed Kalyan (Ray; husband) and me around with so much care.
Raja: She was thinking of building a house back then and he (Dilip Raja) was excited... very eager to help, explaining the technicalities.
Nandita aunty, how have you seen Aparna ma’am grow and evolve over the years?
Raja: I have always been her admirer and I still admire her a lot. Prothom chhobi korei hit... this was such a matter of pride for us. There are a lot of heroines but she transitioned into direction and made her mark at the very outset. 36 Chowringhee Lane was outstanding and left a lasting impression. Such a bold film. Then came Parama, even bolder. I think she could make these films at the very beginning of her journey as a director because she is a woman.
(Aparna Sen laughs)
I became an even bigger admirer. As a friend, she is completely ‘my dear’. Then she joined Sananda (magazine). I remember the entire team came home for lunch on a Sunday and we had a lot of fun. It felt like family.
There are lots of anecdotes. It’s not as if we talk every day, because we are both busy, but the bonding is very strong.
Sen: The other day when I visited Kanishka’s, Nandita was in the workshop and very tired but made sure that she met me.
Aparna ma’am, how has Kanishka’s grown in all these years?
Sen: I really like that they have grown but have retained the spirit with which they had started. That to me is very important. They have branched out into shirts, dupattas and menswear. I used to be interested in how they would keep changing the decor from time to time and would admire the decor. Dilipda was very interested in design and architecture and that gradually began to reflect more and more in how the shop was done up.
Many of your films have explored the theme of female friendships...
Sen: They last a long time. They are not flings or affairs. With men, if you are an attractive young woman, whatever... peet chaprano, tui bola... tar moddhe there is a sort of current, onek shomoi sheta thake, but female friendships are devoid of all of that. You are attracted to each other as human beings. You admire each other... you hardly can ever go up and tell a man that you should change your hairstyle. You can do that with a woman, a close friend. You can tell her ‘don’t wear this sari’ or ‘wear this colour’. Even with my close male friends, I rarely do that... I do it with my husband.
The fact that you know that they are not going to judge you... you are comfortable with your flaws, with your girlfriends. They might chide you but they will forgive you and they will protect you and they will be there for you through thick and thin. Once Konkona (Sensharma; dau ghter; actress and director) was running a very high fever and I had to leave for a shoot. I remember Gouridi (elocutionist Gouri Ghosh) said: ‘Aami chole aashchi’. It’s like having a baap’er bari. I know if I ever have a serious problem, I can call up Nandita and say I am coming over. This sense of comfort is very important.
Nandita aunty, you share a close bond with Konkona too...
Raja: I remember she would come to the store and take a lot of interest in the display. We had put up a section of home decor. When Konkona left for Delhi for studies, she took durries, table mats and napkins from me, which she could have bought from Delhi too. Ekta onyorokom relation....
What are your wishes for each other?
Raja: I wish her great health and keep giving us such amazing films. You can learn a lot from her films.
Sen: I too wish her good health. May she never lose her zeal in life. Let her be as creative as possible. She’s got a great spirit.
Raja: I love my work. And so does she.
Sen: Believe in life. As long as you live, you have to move on.
(Left) This fish-motif block-printed Kanishka’s tussore sari complements the charming elegance of Aparna Sen. “I rarely wear saris and I am mostly in jeans and shirts because I am a working woman and I am comfortable in them. I have decided that if I buy a sari now, it will be occasionwear,” says Sen.
(Right) Nandita Raja in a beautiful Vidarbha tussore, at one of t2’s favourite spots in her house. “I wear saris every day,” smiles Raja
