This is by far the most difficult column to pen ever. In the spirit of A-Bra-Cadabra’s frank and upfront conversation with readers, I must confess that my bra is never visible on my clothesline. That’s because it’s either tucked under a garment, or is hanger-ed discreetly somewhere in the bathroom, or maybe even on a not-so-visible window sill.

It mortifies me that things are as they are. I mean, what’s wrong with me? After everything that I feel I stand for, as do countless other women who have plodded through life’s challenges, why on earth are we unable to put our bras out in the open to dry them?

Without being bothered about who’s seeing our bras?

Or being bothered about what they’re seeing of us when seeing our bras?

Or being concerned about how they’ll see us once they’ve seen our bras?

Why? Why indeed? This question now (almost) haunts me. Am I such a coward that I still need to hide my basic garments away?

Or, is it that I’m a hypocrite?

As I look within I find that my bra is synonymous with my body. Putting it out in the open to dry is as good as hanging my whole self on the line. Which is — willy-nilly — impossible.

This could stem from either a conservative sense of dressing which wouldn’t apply to me since my clothes span the spectrum of all possible comfort zones; or from a state of mind that erects boundaries for its protection in a world where an increasing number of women fear social and personal violence. Just as I wish to protect my body, so do I perhaps hide away my bra. Just as I wish to keep safe the keys to my home lest they be misused by a dangerous world that hesitates not in preying on women — and especially single ones at that — so do I perhaps treat my bra.

Do I feel that my bra may titillate the male gaze that falls upon it? Perhaps yes. What am I to do about it? Play safe and continue hiding my bra or be brave and break the shackles?

Think as hard as I may there’s a muddle in my head with “perhaps” being the most repeated word in this column. In a world where idealism must and must exist within practical considerations or be wiped out, it’s a tough call. At least for me.

For once I just don’t know what to conclude. As Theodore Roethke echoes within, “I live between the heron and the wren/ Beasts of the hill and serpents of the den…”

Is that it? Or, is there more to it than meets the eye?

Will await your answers too.

The columnist is the founder-CEO of Necessity-SwatiGautam, a customised brand of brassieres. Contact: necessityswatigautam@gmail.com